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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Those who breastfed a 2+ year old... How did you stop?

58 replies

Absofrigginlootly · 30/11/2016 14:54

I'm still happily breastfeeding my 25 month old DD... And currently night weaning her (has done it previously but it slipped back due to illness, deprecation anxiety and sleep regression)... Anyway I'm hoping this will help cut back on feeds overall and as she has just dropped her nap (Shock Confused oh how I miss it!!) I no longer need to feed her to sleep in the day.

Anyway, my question is how did you stop breastfeeding altogether? Aibu to not really know how to stop? Did your toddler self wean or did you have to refuse feeds and comfort them another way?

In an ideal world i would let her self wean... But she's very attached to the boob and I suspect she'd be 3 or 4 before she did....I was initially thinking of trying to stop in the new year because we'd like to have another baby. I won't go into the medical reasons but I absolutely can't breastfeed and TTC or whilst pregnant and as I'm getting on a bit age wise I didn't want to leave it another year....

Advice please Smile

OP posts:
OhtoblazeswithElvira · 30/11/2016 16:11

When DS was 25 months I got a very bad cold. Had to take a bucket load of meds just to make it through the day - some of them were not compatible with BF so I just had to stop. He was fine.

3 months on I miss it a little bit - and now that DS is more verbal, he stil climbs on to me and asks for milk Sad oh well it had to be done.

ruthsmumkath · 30/11/2016 16:12

I stopped at 2.5 yrs with dc1, 3.5 years with dc2 and 3 and am still feeding 2.5 year old dc4.

I just decided it was time and I think they got that I meant it and after a few days of distraction they stopped asking.

Good luck

Footle · 30/11/2016 17:30

When my last and longest feeder was just turning 2, I had my tonsils out. I was in hospital for two nights and that was it.

Misselthwaite · 30/11/2016 17:41

I offered hot chocolate or hot milk instead. Got DH to do more bedtimes and night wakings too. Also getting pregnant I think messed up supply so DS was less interested which was just as well because feeding while pregnant was agony.

Mari50 · 30/11/2016 17:41

My DD BF until she was 28 months, when she started raising my top asking for booby I decided enough was enough, she was only feeding in the morning and at bedtime but would ask for it during the day if she was tired etc. We cuddled up one night for stories and she went to BF and I told her mummy's boobies were broken. She was a bit upset but nothing too tricky. She never asked again. So I think she was ready, we were just in a habit.

nennyrainbow · 30/11/2016 17:43

Can't offer a solution but am following with interest. DD2 is 2y 9m and still BF. I have stopped the night time feeds now by telling her that it's only time to BF when the music ( radio alarm) plays in the morning. Then she can have it. She's also very emotionally attached and a fussy eater / drinker ( refuses milk, even chocolate milk) so my approach for the time being is to wait until she self weans. Although if it doesn't happen in the next year or so, I may have to chivvy her up. I wont be having any more children so that isn't an issue for me.

IWillOnlyEatBeans · 30/11/2016 17:57

I fed DS2 until he was 2.4 or thereabouts. He was still feeding a lot through the day, although we had night weaned (not that it helped at all with his night waking...sigh...)

Anyway, I just said that my milk had all gone and that my boobies were empty. He asked on and off for about a week and got quite upset at times, but I had had enough and was ready to stop.

He has fond memories of feeding now at 3.11. He was offered a glass of milk in a cafe last week and he replied 'no thank you, I only like milk if it comes from your boobies!' Ha. The waitress was quite amused!

MrsHathaway · 30/11/2016 18:05

DC1 and DC2 each weaned while I was pg with the next one. Coincidentally both at 26m though at different gestations of the respective pregnancies. You don't need to wean to ttc, though many people find it helps.

Anyway, we did "don't offer, don't refuse" and there came a point where they stopped asking. With DS2 we went on holiday, and the difference in routine meant he didn't have his normal cues for bf IYSWIM. I don't remember why DS1 didn't ask; may just have been extra tired that week.

DS2 simply never asked again. DS1 asked after about a week and I said it was all gone. He cried and said "I want my milk back" but that was it.

DS1 wanted to try again when DS2 arrived and my milk came in. Fortunately he had lost his reflex and didn't bother trying more than once - tbh it freaked me out a bit. DS2 otoh had some expressed milk in a cup when he and newborn DS3 had chicken pox together, and he got better basically overnight!

DS3 was weaned slightly before 2. I had just had enough - his lazy latch plus being touched out meant I was sobbing through feeds. So one day I just said no, all gone, and hugged him to sleep instead, and after a couple of confused days he was absolutely fine. I didn't suffer any engorgement or pain or infection, but I did avoid milk-stimulating foods such as oats and dark chocolate.

Leeloo2 · 30/11/2016 19:03

Funnily enough I'm reading this I'm the bath with my dd, who I weaned 2 days ago. It went like this-

Dd- hello (her word for boob)
Me - hello dd
Dd - i don't have milk from you anymore
Me - (thinking of this thread) that's good. why don't you?
Dd - because I'm 3 now. I'm a big girl and I have milk in a cup. When I'm 2 I'll drink from you, but when I'm 4 I won't!

So there you go! Out of the horse's mouth so to speak. I'd really had enough - esp as she lost the proper latch a while ago, so was squeezing to get the milk out (comfy!!). We were down to only at bedtime anyway and I'd had a few conversations about 'big girls not having... ' (she was 3 in September) but she wasn't taking the hint. Then I had a really bad day with the kids and couldn't bear the thought of it, so just told her 'oh that's right, you're not having (her word for milk) anymore, would you like milk or water at bedtime. She asked for milk and that was it!

She does ask for it approx once per bedtime and I've told her milk is finished and won't taste nice if we try. The first night this was true, I didn't want to give in if she looked plaintive, so sprayed a bit of perfume on it. Then thought I should try it first, so I didn't accidentally poison her. Omg it was vile! After that I wasn't tempted to let her. Lol.

Ds was about 3 too. I gave him a choice of 3 books and no milk or 1 book and milk. Over about 3 days he was weaned from 2x per day to nothing.

I have to say it's such a relief and I'm not dreading bedtime anymore.

dollywobbles · 30/11/2016 19:08

I did the not offering, not refusing thing from about 2.4. By then it was only really morning and bedtime we were doing it anyway. I did sometimes make myself (by which I very much mean my boobs!) unavailable at bedtime and let DH deal with story etc.
There was no big discussion or heartbreak over it. It just stopped when DS didn't ask anymore.
Aw. I miss it a bit now.

Original poster
Absofrigginlootly · 01/12/2016 01:18

Thanks all.... A few people have touched on it but generally did everyone just stop and their milk dried up? Did you get swollen, sore boobs or blocked ducts? Did you have to express any off or did you just stop and all was fine?

OP posts:
Original poster
Absofrigginlootly · 01/12/2016 01:22

Oh and if any of the thread watchers are interested we're currently doing Dr Jay Gordon method of night weaning but from bedtime until morning (not 11-6 as suggested).

It worked well last time I did it (although there was a lot of crying Sad). But this time her language is obviously so much better so I can explain the changes to her.

OP posts:
annoyedofnorwich · 01/12/2016 02:17

I sent him on holiday without me!

Clandestino · 01/12/2016 04:56

We started dropping feeds, down to one before sleep. Offered water during night. Then went cold turkey. After one hour of hysterical crying we never looked back.

Clandestino · 01/12/2016 04:57

The milk dried up, with down to one feed there wasn't a lot of it anyway.

Mol1628 · 01/12/2016 05:14

Following. I want to stop with my 22 month old. He only has nap and bedtime feeds now. Sometimes on a weekend he has it when he wakes. He loves it so much. Such a contrast to my older son who wasn't bothered and stopped himself at 18 months.

YokoUhOh · 01/12/2016 05:18

DS1 was 2.8 - I got my mum to put him to bed for a few nights! He was only doing the feed before bed at that stage, and I was desperate to conceive DC2 but couldn't because BF was interfering with my fertility.

(DS2 6 months snoring away as I type)

hummingbird100 · 01/12/2016 06:41

DS was 2y1month when I got pregnant again, as the pg progressed it got more and more painful and the icky feeling of nursing aversion kicked in more and more. I'm 4.5 months pg now and have very gradually weaned him, first down to morning and nights, then to just nights, then offering water and cuddles. So generally distraction, offering water and cuddles and talking about other things when he asks for milk. I'm currently letting him latch on a couple of times a week but I'm not sure how much milk is there, he'd still be feeding 5 times a day if I wasn't pregnant but the pain made me cry a few times and that's when I knew I had to get stop as much as I could!

hummingbird100 · 01/12/2016 06:42

^try stop not get stop!

IWillOnlyEatBeans · 01/12/2016 21:51

DS2 was still feeding quite a bit and I stopped cold turkey. I didn't have any problems at all. I tried to express a bit in the shower just in case but didn't get anything out...

Maz2444466 · 01/12/2016 23:04

Absofrigginlootly Doctor Jay Gordon's night weaning method worked perfectly for us too, there was a bit of crying but I held DD the whole time and said 'mummy loves you' and she was so tired she fell asleep quite quickly; within a few days she just wasn't waking up anymore - I was amazed at how easy it was...a couple of other things that helped us in the day:

  • We cut out all feeds that were out of boredom first by distracting/going for a walk etc.
  • We made a big fuss over DD's cup, and pretended to drink from it ALL the time, sometimes we took the lid of and put three straws in it - DH and I would pretend slurp loudly and then said 'oh, what about the blue straw?' and DD would want to share with us
  • Wore perfume constantly to mask the smell
  • Wore a high necked top to bed

We took it very gradually and cut feeds out slowly, we started weaning at 20 months and were finished by 23 months so just under 2.

PickAChew · 01/12/2016 23:06

He lost interest, so I stopped offering. He came for the occasional appreciative pat, then walked off again.

HubbleBubbles · 02/12/2016 15:37

shapesamdshades I did the plasters over nipples thing too! Worked like a charm! Dd was 2.4 and a real boob monster, she would have carried on forever but I was pregnant with number 2 and had just had enough. I had no boob issues stopping suddenly, only down side was that she dropped her nap and bedtimes became a real challenge with no last feed to send her off.
DS self weaned at 10 months ..I was Shock!!

bummymummy77 · 09/12/2016 11:01

I've tried all of these with ds (3). We had a good talk yesterday. I told him we were going to stop nursing soon because I was sick of it. He told me that would make him sad and he was going to nurse until he's 11.

So that was that.

HaveNoSocks · 09/12/2016 11:06

I found it really difficult to stop - my son was very attached and since there were some major life adjustments moving countries, new nursery etc. there was never a good time to stop. Once I actually tried though it was totally fine as he was old enough to understand. WE just cut back starting with night weaning (we just told him in advance it was going to happen), then day weaning so he just had it before bed and in the morning then not at all. I thought he would be a nightmare but it was absolutely fine.

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