After 6 years to give up trying to get DD to eat my home cooking?

[Careerchanger2017]

My DD has never eaten much of her evening meal, when I ask her why she says she doesn't like it. The only meals she likes are chicken nuggets (frozen), fishfingers (frozen), breaded fish (frozen), sausage mash and veg, jackets beans and cheese, home made spaghetti bolognese and a pick and mix style salad. Aibu to just feed her these meals from now on? I'm sick of her refusing meals over and over and then going to bed complaining she is hungry. She won't even eat a roast dinner anymore she is getting worse as she grows up instead of better

Yes we made homemade chicken nuggets and she liked them although my other daughter didn't. I can't win haha.

I have fussy eaters so I read this with interest. One thank god eats most things and has a really good diet. Number two eats loads of veg including broccoli, some fruit but won't eat meat and has gone off fish fingers. The youngest is three was diagnosed with coeliac after being ill and now will only eat apples, bananas, toast, crumpets and spaghetti (I make the sauce with all organic stuff to ease the guilt of her not eating more). My mother nags me to force them but I hated meat (I'm a sensory eater and quite restrictive) but if they don't want it they don't have to eat it. I have moments of guilt but as long as fruit and veg intake is high I'm happyish (though I dread cooking at the moment as they don't seem to want anything I offer).

Op, that sounds like a great plan.
Your last post made me feel so sad, because your daughter doesn't make a big fuss, she just accepts that there is nothing else and that she will be hungry.
You sound like a lovely Mum and you will both benefit from your decision. You will feel less stressed and guilty about it and your daughter will feel listened to.

Are you me?

DS won't eat my cooking. Just won't. Eats school dinners of all kinds, but if I present him with anything that's not previously frozen and beige he won't eat it. He will indeed rather starve than eat my cooking. It's soul destroying but I know he gets decent food at school including veg so I've made myself stop fretting about it.

Sorry, not your last one, but the one from the previous page. I type slowly!!

OP. Sounds like me, but I got very fussy when I was a teenager. She seems to like processed meat, so you may have a future vegetarian on your hands. She may not be keen on traditional meat and boiled veg. Maybe agree with her that she can pick a meal once a week in order to try different things, so she gets more of a variety.

I love pick and mix salads, I think that could be the key. I make my own coleslaw, waldorf salad, Russian salad etc, I can make it healthy by substituting yoghurt for mayo, and always fresh veg. There are so many things that can be used. If she likes humous and veg sticks, you could try different dips (bean or aubergine) and veg (peppers, carrots) some of which are easy to make. Get a good salad recipe book for inspiration.

I don't think it's that bad. My son only ate ham sandwiches for about 2 years, was mega picky until about 2 or 3 years ago, now he's getting braver and starting to be adventurous.

Her diet sounds more varied than many 6 year olds I know, it doesn't sound bad at all really! I would just serve what she likes like others have suggested OP, save yourself the stress and she'll introduce other foods as she gets older. I've known a few fussy eaters who eat anything now as adults! What kind of stuff do you wish she'd eat?

I have a dd just like that.In the end I just fed her what she would eat and lo and behold she didnt die,remained healthy and now at the ripe old age of 19 and at Uni she is trying new foods off her own bat.Best thing I ever did was the day I 'gave in' and stopped making a fuss.

Ds is extremely fussy with food as he has ASD there is no way to get around it.

So every day he has his sweet ( multivitamin) and I cook what he wants.

Before school I ask him or phone him to see what he would like for dinner after school. He eats and is full and I know he gets all his vitamins from the sweet.

"I'm not sure kids are really properly hungry at meal times now, if that makes sense"

I absolutely agree with this I can remember being excited about meal times because I was really hungry, and how lovely it was to sit down to food! Snacks barely existed except at set times. Sweets on Saturday. I get so cross at the aisles of "snacking food" in supermarkets nowadays. And people are so worried at the idea of a child being hungry or thirsty- we've been taken for a ride round the block and back by the marketing departments.

I only ate cornflakes, white bread, plain pasta with cheese and pizza with the topping scraped off between the ages of 5 and 7, i grew out of it. I just was (and am) funny about textures - didn't eat mashed potato until I went to university! As long as she is being fed, that's the main thing

DS2 was a bit like this. very narrow, fussy tastes. while DS1 ate everything. Reversed now. DS2 tries all sorts of weird foods and loves to cook, while DS1 would sooner eat really plain stuff.

I agree with PP who said give more frozen food in the week. We had it about 3 times a week. Then let her help cook at weekends and do fresh stuff. It doesn't work at first. They'll cook it but not eat it. But it does work long term.

I was that child. And Ds2 was the same.

So what I did was if we were eating chilli I would put a teaspoon of rice in a bowl with a teaspoon of chilli. Once he had eaten that (to expose him to a range of tastes and textures) he could eat whatever meal he wanted. Mainly white carbs, but at least he ate. Then his tummy would be full but at least he knew what we were eating.

Fast forward, he is now 10 and eats the chilli. I have a 3 weekly menu plan. I choose at least 4 meals a week he likes the others he tolerates, but he knows what is coming up and the rule is he doesn't moan about it because it won't change anything. He eats salmon, white fish, mince, beef, chicken, homemade pizza (still loves white carbs)

Given the choice, I would live on a diet of chocolate, crisps and cake but given that I have to set a good example, I cook instead

I want to point out that he has never gagged at the food, just it's ok. He has learnt to mark it out of 10 and the lowest score is a 6 1/2. But I find there are meals I love (cajun chicken or green thai curry) and food that I find ok (roast dinner or pizza)

My 5 year old is very similar, and would happily live on jam sandwhiches, but only if I cut the crusts off. And sushi!

After she and her brother (8) refused every meal this weekend, I have given up cooking,

As a child/teenager/young adult, one of mine was very, very fussy, after living with her BF/husband she'll now eat virtually anything! There's hope!😀😀😀

After growing up in a home where to refuse food was to reject our mother and where fussy eaters were cajoled I decided I just couldn't be bothered to have issues with food. My rule was that food was to be enjoyed and if you didn't like anything then just leave it. Maybe I was lucky but there were never any real issues and certainly no power play. If one food is regarded as disgusting there's usually enough veg etc to fill.

But...if there's a gag reaction, I definitely don't force the issue - only a like/dislike really annoys me.

(And there's plenty I don't like )

can you get her to help you cook? It might help her get more interested in the food. Also I agree with PP re cooking healthier versions of frozen foods eg nuggets and chips

Also a meal like homemade chicken nuggets, mash and peas or beans is actually pretty healthy.

Sorry to put the dampers on bit it doesn't always get better. My dad was like this at 9. She's now 19, at uni and her fave meal is frozen curly fries

At 19, do you need your daughters diet to get better?

I will also add that my mother has no idea of the range of foods I now eat. When I eat at her house I just eat what she serves me. The bravest I have gotten is to ask for turkey and ham at Xmas. Why? Because I can't cope with her excitement and expectations and "why couldn't you have done that while you were a child?" jibes.

She would fall down if She knew I had eaten a curry.

Oh god, 6 years?! Just feed her what she likes. Honestly, I was an insanely fussy eater and I just grew out of it. There was always proper fresh food at home and eventually I started eating it. I now eat most things and can properly cook.

My MIL was a chef and yet as a child my DH used to eat frozen chicken nuggets (VOM) and little else for years. His brother ate everything. They now both have perfectly decent diets.

My dd is currently a bit slow in picking up weaning and my lovely HV told me not to worry and quoted a child physiologist she used to work with... "you can't make a child eat, but you can make a child not eat"

My dd was a really fussy eater until she turned eight. Then she started to like more things. I remember it started with some really lovely fresh fish I cooked for myself (as she hated fish) and she couldn't resist it, and finished it off. The year before I had been reduced to giving her chips everyday (mea culpa) but she wouldn't eat anything else.