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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask if your teenagers have part-time jobs? If so, how many hours do they do?

62 replies

wwoonn · 26/11/2016 23:59

My almost 18 year old thinks I'm being too tough on him.

He is doing 5 A-levels which I know is hard, but that's a choice he wanted (wanted to go to grammar school Sixth Form) and I am very proud of him.

He also volunteers at a science museum (wants to go into a science career) once or twice a month.

He has a part-time job too at Sainsbury's. Where he does 12 hours a week.

He says he has no time to see friends, to just relax, etc.

He has asked if he can drop a shift and take up a music lesson, would you let him? He says he'll pay for it, but he says he is a bit too stressed at the moment and would like something fun to focus on too. The thing is, he is free at the weekends. He works 6pm-12 in the week, which is late when he has college but he doesn't mind that. At the weekend he watches Netflix while he goes over school work or does homework, etc. I say that he could use that time to meet friends or take up a hobby and he says that he just needs that time to relax and that he is still doing school work (but is watching Netflix and doing school work, really school work? Grin)

Am I mean mummy? Grin or do lots of your teens have jobs/are busy? like I've told him

OP posts:
GreyBird84 · 27/11/2016 08:10

I think that sounds really full on.
If the science museum is helping with experience in his chosen career that should stay.

Could he drop to 8hrs instead of 12hrs?

GreenTureen · 27/11/2016 08:15

mine is year 11 equivalent and I have insisted she does not get a job because the school/outside interest/social balance simply does not have room for a job as well

This. I had a job from age 16...the mix of A Levels (4 in my case) and work, plus anything else was bloody hard and I did poorly in my A Levels because of it. It was too much but I didn't recognise it at the time.

It's good that he's recognising it now and telling you so you would bvu to push him to work more hours than he's comfortable with.

OldRosesDoomed · 27/11/2016 08:22

He should be focussing on school. It I fantastic he I so motivated and wants to develop musically. When ds was in 6th form with a simila schedule and team commitments he didn't work and neither did we expect him to. DD is the same now.

If they take it seriously and do the extra curricular stuff universities like they have little time for part-time jobs. Work hard, play hard, rest hard is my motto.

DS used to do a bit of caddying in the holidays; dd does some very occasional babysitting for neighbours.

What does your ds want to do at uni? Our dc will probably have to work until they are 70 - I think we should let them have some fun and their youth if we can.

mummytime · 27/11/2016 08:27

5 A'levels is no longer the norm - even if doing Further MAths (A'levels have got harder).
My DD's college recommend keeping work to 8 hours a week, but DD actually has quite a bit of freetime, as she manages to keep most of the work to college hours. But schools often fill "frees" with other activities (and DD's college works 8:45-4:00, which gives an extra lesson a day).

JustSpeakSense · 27/11/2016 08:32

His schedule sounds a bit full.

I'd let him decide.

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 27/11/2016 08:33

Your son sounds fab OP. I think you should let him decide this one so he can learn to manage his time etc.

ValaMalDoran · 27/11/2016 08:33

I think one last night late shift a week is fine. He is still working and he can take on more in holidays around other things.

I used to do about 6 hours a week each week in term time and then pick up more in the holidays. As did my younger sibling. The eldest only ever worked holidays as his course involved placement work.

applesandpears86 · 27/11/2016 08:42

Why don't you let him drop the shift for a bit? If it's retail work there is quite often overtime available if he needs the extra cash especially during holidays when he has more downtime anyway.

I think it's good to have had a job as well as academic experience; it will show he is a well rounded individual and he will learn different life skills such as mixing with different people. I had a part time retail job from 16 alongside my studies and worked around 9 hours per week term time but extra in holidays. I learnt a lot from it.

tealady · 27/11/2016 08:43

My teen is taking in final year of sixth form and works 4 hours pw in term time. This leaves enough time for plenty of study, sleep and socialising and seems to be a good balance. 5 a2's sounds excessive and I think it would be better to get 3 or 4 really top grades than 5 average grades. Unless he is a very hard working genius of course. I think they do need time just to relax and his schedule sounds heavy. Two late nights in the week working can't be great for his studies and no wonder he needs a bit of time at the weekend just doing nothing.

Icequeen01 · 27/11/2016 08:55

My DS is in year 12 and doing 3 A levels. He has a part time job in WH Smith for 4 hours on a Saturday. He's hoping for some extra hours over Xmas but not permanently. He attends a grammar school and when we went to the parents evening for Sixth Form they said they no longer recommended 4 or 5 A levels as 3 good grades are now what universities are looking for. There is only one boy in the 130 strong 6th form who is doing 5.

iknowimcoming · 27/11/2016 08:56

I think he sounds sensible and if that's what he wants then he should do it. My dd is 17, doing 5 a levels, works 10 hours per week, currently studying for grade 8 instrument exam plays in 2 orchestras and is learning to drive but she thrives on it and we watch her carefully and any of her stuff can be dropped/reduced as necessary if it gets too much

ZbZb · 27/11/2016 09:04

That sounds like a full on schedule. He might need to increase his home study time as only working evenings might not be enough. I think wanting to see friends and enjoy yourself as a very positive and healthy thing.

Is there any babysitting available in you area. My DCs would babysit a lot as they could study once the kids were asleep.

Megainstant · 27/11/2016 09:26

5 alevels is actually the norm for most grammar and private schools. It is beneficial in future if the pupil can cope with that as shows higher commitment compared to 3 alevels

No it isn't.

BigGreenOlives · 27/11/2016 09:57

Not the norm at either of my children's schools either. Both schools have high levels of students going to Oxbridge/Ivies.

ZbZb · 27/11/2016 10:13

BTW you can look up actual numbers of ALevels achieved by Oxbridge students at the Freedom of information site whatdotheyknow. 5 A levels is NOT the norm.

Icequeen01 · 27/11/2016 10:18

Also meant to say in my previous post that the head of my son's 6th form also stated at the 6th form meeting that she had recently attended a conference with representatives from all universities and two of the speakers were from Oxford and Cambridge and they advised they were not looking for 4 or 5 A levels anymore.

poisonedbypen · 27/11/2016 10:27

5 A levels is not the norm. I don't know of a single grammar school in Buckinghamshire that would even allow 5, some won't even allow 4 now.
Our school recommended no more than 11 hours extra work a week, which equates to a day at the weekend & an evening during the week. Mind you that's with 3 A levels (and 4 ASs at that time).

budgiegirl · 27/11/2016 10:28

5 alevels is actually the norm for most grammar and private schools. It is beneficial in future if the pupil can cope with that as shows higher commitment compared to 3 alevels

Not in my experience. My DS is at a super selective grammar, and they recommend 3 or 4, depending on what the student wants to do after sixth form. No-one is advised (or even allowed) to do 5.

They also recommend keeping paid work out of school to a minimum. My son does two mornings a week at the weekend as a football ref, and I feel that this is enough if he wants to keep up with his school work.

OP, I'd say that dropping to 6 hours is a good idea. It still gives him work experience, and some money, but shouldn't impact too much on his school work.

sterlingcooper · 27/11/2016 10:35

I only ever worked Saturdays 9 - 5 while I was in sixth form.

I think as he is 18 he doesn't need your permission to drop a shift if he wants to.

AndNowItsSeven · 27/11/2016 10:36

He shouldn't be working at all with that schedule!

ZbZb · 27/11/2016 10:37

Look HERE for Oxbridge info on numbers ad successful applicants and ALevels -

ZbZb · 27/11/2016 11:37

Sorry link fail and I'm now in my phone so it's awkward to link again...

Original poster
wwoonn · 27/11/2016 11:43

He is doing Chemistry, Biology, Physics, Maths and Further Maths. He needs them for his own benefit. He isn't 100% sure which Scoence he wants to go into yet. It has nothing to do with getting into uni. Also, his AS results were fantastic, so he can cope with them, dropping to 3 would be silly.

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 27/11/2016 11:44

It sounds like he is doing a lot !! My ds (17yyrs) is doing 3 Alevels and works 10 hours a week cleaning at his school on a mon-fri. he then does extra cleaning in the hoilidays if the work is available. He is always very tired at the weekends, most teenagers need a lot of sleep. I would certainly let him work less if that's what he wants to do.

CalleighDoodle · 27/11/2016 11:46

He sounds like he has a great plan. As long as he is doing enough work outside the classroom, learning an instrument would be
Really beneficial to him.