Can any managers tell me why my manager is behaving like this?

[woundedplacerias]

I have been covering for my line manager for the last 4 months as she has been off sick. This is not official and there has been no adjustment made to my own job, or extra payments, but the role has to be filled and I have stepped up accordingly as her 'deputy'. Our line manager gives me tasks to do that would otherwise have been given to her, but never really mentions the extra work I have had to take on, aside from one occasion when she briefly thanked me in an email.

An added complication is that when my line manager's current role came up (the one who is ill) we both went for it and obviously she got it. She was kind of next in line, but I had been hopeful and had been led to believe by management (including the woman I mentioned above) that I was more highly regarded and was in with a very good chance. Since then she has done very little and I have really had to support her in the role (before she went off ill). I know this sounds like sour grapes but it happens to be true and so many people within our organisation have told me I should have been promoted and she is not up to the job. She really isn't - she gives the impression of being both lazy and incompetent.

While she has been off I have made some changes to the way things are done - things I wanted to do had I been given the promotion when it came up. These changes have been very well received by the team I am now managing and I have been given nothing but positive feedback. Last week two team members went on a training activity with and came back saying how well prepared they were for forthcoming changes to our sector thanks to initiatives implemented by me. They even went to my line manager to tell her how well I am doing and how far ahead we are compared to other organisations. She cut them down and said sh didn't want to hear anything negative about the woman who is off sick - though they hadn't mentioned her at all. The team member told me it felt like she didn't really want to hear anything positive about me either.

AIBU to feel a bit use and to wonder why someone incompetent is protected and someone else is not valued or even thanked for making improvements for no money, time or even thanks?

She's been incompetent and lazy for the entire time I have worked with her. People can disbelieve me, but why would I lie? Being brutally honest about it, she got away for years with doing very little, then went for a promotion she didn't really want and wasn't up to because she didn't want me going over her head. Since being in this role I have carried her but still cracks have begun to show because I can't do everything and she is not up to the job. Now she is off and, while I certainly don't want to speculate about her health, I wouldn't be at all surprised if it is little more than a way out for her that would enable her to save face. I would never discuss it in this way at work, and I know I sound like a cow, but this is honestly how it is (obviously, she may be genuinely ill, in which case I would feel guilty - despite never having voiced these thoughts aloud at work - but the rest is how it is.)

In my ideal world there is nothing wrong with her, but she decides to take early retirement and I get her role! I know this is no more than a fantasy though. It is a public sector organisation and there is no way they could semi-promote me but give me less money, as there are pay scales etc that are transparent.

But why on earth were you 'carrying' her when she was there?

In all honesty, I would certainly continue being acting manager while she is out for the benefit your own experience and cv. When she comes back, there are two options -

1 Slip back into your old role and do your own job, not hers and let her worry about her own job.

1. Move roles. Personally I'd choose the latter.

It's not really possible for me to do my job properly if she is not doing hers adequately. This thread has made me realise if she does come back and things go back to normal, I will have to leave .

I just feel a bit unappreciated by those above, but posters have helped me see why this may be. Stupidly, I am thinking ahead to Christmas and how it is traditional for the manager to get everyone in the team a little token of appreciation. I can see me getting everyone something and me getting nothing, and that will make me feel a bit shit, pathetic as that is.

I'm surprised though at the number of posters who are assuming that OP is incorrect in her assessment

I don't think OP is incorrect in her assessment. But OP's opinion of her manager's performance is irrelevant, because it is not her responsibility to take action. In her position it is very likely that any attempt to try and 'whistleblow' (for want of a better term) will be seen as nothing more than an attempt to try and unseat the woman whilst she's absent, because OP wants her job. Even if the OP is trying with the best of intentions to do the right thing, it could seriously backfire and end up making OP's working life very miserable.

OP please try not to become too demoralised. I'd really recommend booking in a 1-2-1 with your current line manager (i.e. the person supervising you whilst you are 'acting up'). Approach this very professionally:

I've asked for this meeting because I'd like to discuss my career development with you. Since X has been away due to her illness and I have been standing in for her, it has made me realise that I really want to progress and take the next step for promotion into . I'd be very grateful if you could give me some guidance and feedback in terms of further development and things that I need to do, in order to achieve this objective

Whilst I am here, I would also like to discuss me standing in for X. It has been Y weeks now - is there any update on when she is likely to return to work?

Wait for a response and if it's that she's likely to be off until further notice, then ask for clarity about you being formally seconded/recognised as acting up into her role, until such time as she returns to work.

The request for feedback should do two things: 1. Make it clear to your employer that you are serious about wanting to go further. 2. GIve you an idea of whether this is feasible in your current firm - if the answers are vague and wishy-washy, then you are probably going to have to face up to job-hunting and needing to go elsewhere. However if you do get a genuine commitment to helping you with your development, then this is a good sign that if you meet those objectives, then you should be able to progress with your current employer.

I understand you are trying to do the right thing and I previously worked in a large organisation (private sector) and this sounds all too familiar. I don't want to sound harsh but I think you need to differentiate between being a recognised manager/acting manager and somebody who is covering aspects of the role unofficially. If you buy gifts, you will be buying them for your colleagues and team members, not your 'staff'. I wouldn't hesitate to have a quick chat with your current manager to ask for the money to pay for these token gifts if she thinks it is appropriate for you to buy them at all. If she pays, then buy one for yourself as well. She may not as these token gifts are usually paid for by the direct manager as a way of saying thank you for her team's hard work throughout the year. It may be really inappropriate for you to buy these even when doing so with the best of intentions.

I do feel for you. I think it's really awful when you have been unsuccessful for internal promotion. I've been turned down twice and it's made me very unsure about work. I've been very happy in that job and now I'm not.

How do others manage to cope with that I don't know.

Headof It was probably the hardest thing I had to learn. I've been a manager now for almost 8 years. I've always been ambitious and keen to move on but making that step up for an internal promotion was the most difficult. I was unsuccessful on two occasions and the last one was the hardest. I got some constructive feedback and it was really, really difficult to ask for it - and listen to it.

It was so hard to keep going into work and keep my game face on and keep going, without feeling demoralised and disengaged. But that's the professional challenge - and having been on the other side of that promotion, I can tell you that the development curve was really beneficial. It feels shit at the time but I've come across professional challenges since then; the first 360 degree feedback survey you get as a manager can be an eye-opener!! If you can learn to deal with the difficulty of having a set-back and still be able to stay on your game and keep going, then it will serve you very well in the long run.

Do you have a professional mentor? That was the key change for me. I joined a mentoring programme and was really diligent about keeping my appointments and objectives (though the plate spinning was hard because it is a time commitment). I got great feedback and advice; she challenged me and gave me insight into managing upwards. By the end of that mentoring year I'd got that last promotion that I'd missed out on.

Have had a similar situation happen to a friend. Sadly they couldnt have a successful outcome whatever they did- seem too keen bean and they were trying to job steal, just did job requirement and nothing more they were truculent for not getting job. She left company in the end!

I'm sorry but I'd be looking for another job
Whilst what you have implemented may well be integral to the job and has improved productivity and smooth running no end for the department. It has also shown up the line managers weaknesses in a way that not only cannot be ignored but in a way that makes it obvious that you have been saving her skin.
There is no way to save face on this. You now inadvertently, through your passion to see the job done well and the department run smoothly, look like you have blatantly stabbed her in the back at the first opportunity. That's not something upper management are going to forget, no matter that, that was the furthest thing from your mind.

I feel your frustration op but there's more to being a manager than performing line tasks well and actually your thread title makes me think you don't understand this as well as you think you do.
Maybe your technical knowledge is sound but your soft skills need improving. If you're even 10% as rude and negative about your absent manager when you're at work as you are here (and yes, I get that MN is a great place to vent) then you'll come across as extremely unprofessional. Your employer has a duty to follow the law in terms of long-term sickness and as a manager you'll need to handle situations like this in a sympathetic and constructive way.
I wouldn't promote you based on the info you've given us here irrelevant because I'm not your boss
You've received some really good advice on this thread from PaulDacres, Rusty and others. Try take this to heart.
It may be that you've outgrown your role, in which case good luck finding a new one.

Sounds like you are ready to move on anyway, OP. Why would you want to work somewhere your immediate line manager is incompetent and lazy and your next level manager doesn't rate you?

Your OP asked why would your manager behave like this. You've had lots of answers, such as you are being perceived as empire building, you have gone above your brief, etc. You should reflect on this, perhaps ask for formal feedback from your manager. If you are going to be covering for a longer time, you should ask for a deputising allowance (10% on top of your current salary is what we would offer), along with agreed objectives to make it clear whether you are doing the job in its entirety, caretaking bits and bob or essentially doing your permanent role with a few add ons.

Thank you paul.

Headof - you're welcome. Please don't give up though.

OP, why have you taken on the role of managing a team without a clear appointment, i.e. being asked to and being compensated for (salary uplift, "acting xyz" job title)? If you are just doing it on top of your own workload, just because you are nice and would give your life for the company (

Head of, I was turned down for an internal promotion, got on with things and then got offered something better a month later. Ask for feedback, be gracious and supportive of whoever has got the job ( because so many people really aren't after an internal promotion, even if they didn't want it themselves- it's an odd thing..)
I've since been promoted again so think it was due to timing and what they wanted for that specific role rather than me. Still stung for a while though. Carry on going

OP, it's hard to judge what people think of you within your organisation from what you say.
However, what is certainly true is that you have lots of transferable skills, including 'stepping up', being proactive, implementing change etc. etc. I would encourage you to take your skills elsewhere, where they are appreciated for what they are.

OP please take this advice and either use it for a 1-2-1 or look for another job.

For what its worth I've been in similar situations (not internal promotion) but feeling I wanted something more in a small company and not being rewarded, in the end like I said, I walked... My old boss and my last boss (for different reasons) begged me to stay because I'm a good worker and honest. I also have experience beyond measure of other younger, colleagues and I get on with most people generally.

Criticism of your current manager who's off sick won't get you anywhere, I hope this hasn't been voiced in your current job but somehow I think she and your other managers know all about it... And like others say no one likes someone who criticises a manager, no matter how badly her job is done but especially when they are off sick. Other managers also won't like being told what to do re the off sick manager. You may also find the staff working under you now are only doing saying nice things etc to not make waves and may well welcome or want the other manager back too despite what they may say to your face. They may want you as it's hard to rubbish someone you work directly for and also it can be very easy for them (and you) to criticise the person who's off sick.

I think personally the line manager who's been supportive and positive re your sick manager is doing the right thing, she has to go through procedure if they were to implement HR procedures against her and sadly you are the "fill in".

I just rememebering years ago, i was Purchasing Secretary for a large factory. The woman on maternity leave was known apparently for being bitchy, taking excess time off, chatting a lot and not working but when she became pregnant it had been hard for her to get pregnant and not an easy pregnancy so she got a year off on maternity pay (before you could take a year off unpaid). Everyone liked me as I was much younger, docile, polite and a hard worker. Even the HR and managing director's secretary tried to get me work there as a receptionist. I interviewed for the job but didn't get it and was quite downcast especially as the 2 replacement receptionists started not long before I was due to leave. But I left and a few years later the factory transferred all work to India and closed! And I got another job and a better job. But it was hard to know someone who wasn't liked was returning back to work when they all told me they'd prefer me in her place etc!

Take care and I hope you get a decent outcome or another job where you're appreciated!

whirly thanks. I am very supportive of her, messaged her immediately that she'd be fab for the job. I have also been very supportive of her ideas and will do my best to make them succeed. Still stings like you say, but it's lovely to hear that others got through it!

AIBU to feel a bit used and to wonder why someone incompetent is protected and someone else is not valued or even thanked for making improvements for no money, time or even thanks?

I've noticed that Managers will often promote and help their friends get ahead, regardless of how well they do the job.
She doesn't see you as a friend. You are a threat and you make her feel insecure.
I've seen countless lazy people protected in this way. People who are off sick more than they're ever at work and yet they seem to get away with murder

I would also like to know why managers do this.

Not all managers are like this. That's not to say it doesn't happen. Managers are people just like everyone else - you can get the good, the bad and the indifferent. Sometimes people will promote their friends, sometimes they'll keep it to their cronies because they will all scratch each others' backs for an easy life. And sometimes you get firms that will genuinely try and find the right fit - and tough as it may be to hear, you may not be the right person for that role.

A lot of the problem stems from the fact that many managers are promoted into managerial positions and have never had any training on how to do the job. There's more to being a good manager than sitting authorising holiday requests and slinging work out to your team! Good people management is an art - some people are naturally good at it and others have to work harder at it because it's not an instinctive skill. Learning how to deliver feedback and how to manage challenging behaviour is hard if you haven't done it before. Sometimes managers get it wrong and make mistakes.

Some firms have the wrong culture - again like people you can get the good, the bad and the ugly! Sometimes a firm will be a good place but just culturally the wrong fit for you. Sometimes a firm might be a pisstaking bunch of bastards, in which case head for the nearest recruitment agent.

If you are in a situation where you genuinely think that the people being promoted are inept or incompetent, then it sounds as if the firm is the wrong place for your career development. But sometimes we do shy away from uncomfortable truths, so you need to be certain that you are being 100% honest with yourself and your own areas of weakness; are these people being promoted genuinely rubbish, or are you being defensive because it's easier to be prickly about losing out, than look at yourself and acknowledge that there's work to do? I had to do the latter and it was really hard, as per my earlier post. Self-awareness can be painful and if you haven't developed in that area then it will be likely to hold you back in the future.

"Christmas and how it is traditional for the manager to get everyone in the team a little token of appreciation. I can see me getting everyone something and me getting nothing,"

Ouch. This is really making me cringe.
You are not the manager. Do not buy patronising little gifts for your peers. This is so inappropriate and will not do you any favours.

You sound like your heart is in the right place but you also sound very ambitious to the point of being a bit pushy. Are you much younger than the person who has gone off sick? Coudl it be possible that there are subtleties to what the role is that you aren't actually getting? Could they genuinely need someone with a bit more experience in some things?

" have been covering for my line manager for the last 4 months as she has been off sick. This is not official and there has been no adjustment made to my own job, or extra payments, but the role has to be filled and I have stepped up accordingly as her 'deputy'. "

Right so no one has officially appointed you to this role (following a formal applications process) no one has asked you to cover for it, no one has acknowledged that you have decided to take certain aspects of it on, and no one is paying you for it.

Tread incredibly carefully. the above are all signs that no one wants you to do it.

None of us can possibly know what that is, but could it be because you are not great at relationship building? Do you lack tact, and have you trod on any toes?

Do get the 1 to 1 meeting that others have advised. Draw it politely to someone's attention that you have picked up some work while so-and-so has been unfortunately away. Say you have enjoyed it, say you would like to progress, say you would like to be given some learning objectives to this end, hopefully leading at some point to the formal promotion which sadly you missed out on last time. If you get asked to stop doing this work, just stop.

AND DO NOT BUY THE DEPT LITTLE GIFTS (shudder)

OP, IME people doing what has been expected of you do get shat upon from a great height: expected to do the extra work with no thanks or reflection in your wage speaks from bitter experience.
If you want to be seen as a team player then you'all be best running any proposals for change through your line manager, keep records that you gave them your ideas but ultimately make their decision whether to implement, therefore you remain as the team player without any risk of being seen to be undermining your sick manager.
Their situation may be a HR nightmare - you really don't know, so your respective line manager will be treading carefully.

Good grief yes, everything Maudlin says.