Mum friend has told me off for using the word 'bugger'

[OohMavis]

Because her 3yo has been saying it, and she thinks the only person she knows who uses the word is me. She isn't happy.

Now, I'll hold my hands up and fully acknowledge that not everyone considers the word bugger to be an innocuous, and at times endearing, way to refer to your children And in any other circumstance I would have profusely apologised.

Except... her 3yo swears like a sailor seriously, the kid swears more than me. We all went out shopping together once, me and her and all of our kids, and he spent the entire time hollering FUUUUUCCCK CCCUUUNNNTT from the back seat. She said it's because he hears her swear all the time.

AIBU in thinking that the odd utterance of bugger is the least of her worries, and that she is taking the piss a bit in getting so annoyed with me? She hasn't stopped swearing, she isn't making an effort to stop him swearing. This telling-off has come out of the blue!

Which part in the Cars movie does it say "bugger"? I must have seen that film a million times and can't remember hearing it being said.

I'm in the south east too and no one has an issue with bugger. And I'm very proud that an American friend used it today too. I've taught her well

I'm with fruity on this one. Up here in the north, Buggerlugs and Buggerboo are seen as terms of endearment. And no one would bat an eyelid at being told to bugger off! It's a friendly/jokey way of saying get lost and is no way near as bad as telling someone to f*ck off. C & F words are awful.

Blimey, the OP is vile and should be ashamed?! Some serious pearl clutching going on here!

Midlander and firmly in the not-sweary-term-of-endearment camp. Bugger is on the same level as sod in my book. Any person who kicks off about that when their child is saying cunt needs to sort themselves out.

Shelagh my Peruvian friend says Bollocks brilliantly! We had a masterclass one night in the pub about how to say it, she uses it now she is back home where no one knows what it means! :o

Kindly think of parents who have bothered to bring their children up properly.

If they have done a half decent job of bringing up their children then both they and their children will take hearing someone else swear in their stride and move on to more interesting stuff.

Bringing up children isn't about building a bubble round them so they don't have to deal with tricky stuff, it's equipping them with the tools to handle the tricky bits in a sensible way.

That child is going to end up in a classroom unfortunately. Thankfully not the one my child is in.

Presumably this means a private school classroom? Good luck with keeping them away from swearing there! Snob.

I use bugger affectionately too although I'm not from the North. DD has picked it from me, telling the cat to 'bugger off Charlie'. Love the word 'buggerlugs' might start using that.

She is definitely BU! I swear sometimes in front of DD but she doesn't go around swearing herself because she knows that they are adult words. She'll use the words if she's telling me that someone else said them (other kids at nursery) but otherwise not. Clearly this woman doesn't tell her child not to use those words so she is the one to blame.

Bugger is the swear word you know is ok growing up because your Mum uses it when she treads on some Lego. I thought the words twat and prat were the same until I was about 9ish and got told off for calling myself a stupid twat!

Gives you a warm glow doesn't it Bogeyface

MIdlands here and rural - bugger is very acceptable especially 'bugger-all' used to describe a feeling of complete contempt for whatever/whoever it is that is doing b-all - similarly 'bloody' and 'damn'
I abhor the 'f' and 'c' word as 4 letter words that were absolutely unacceptable when I was growing up and I would find it horrifying (if I had pearls I would clutch them) that a young child is using them. Mind you, I am not sure a young child should be using the word 'bugger' either

Actually, here is a link to a commercial from a series shown on Australian TV several years ago. They were criticised not because of its liberal use of the word "bugger" but because it was claimed to depict country people as "hicks". (Criticism came from city dwellers, not country).

Kindly think of parents who have bothered to bring their children up properly.
One of mine is doing his Masters in Lit, another is getting firsts in Lit. They'd call you a arsy cunt though. Which means I have done an extremely good job of bringing them up properly.
PS. The banker and the scientist also swear!

There is definitely NO swearing at Private school.
In fact I very much doubt if any Privately educated children have heard so much as a "damn"
This is of course total bollocks

"Bugger" is used in Bing. Ama calls them "noisy buggers."

PPS. The one doing his masters went to an Independent school, so good luck with that train of thought.

I never knew what bugger actually meant and didn't know some people considered it swearing.

I got took the side at nursery during a pick up and told that Dd(3) had been swearing. I thought they were going to tell me she had been saying something really bad but she had just called someone a 'cheeky bugger'. I was like

The same woman also had a word with me because Dd said 'fart'.

Fart annoys me intensely ..... Ime the word fart is only objected to by the sort of people who wince when they hear little girls say vagina or vulva, instead of tinkymuffin or foowoo or something equally ridiculous.

In Germany Bagger is German for digger, yet my 2yo DD pronounces it as Bugger, any digger or large commercial vehicle is a 'bugger' to her.

Bigger is not an acceptable word to use in the US and Canada.

That's news to me! I grew up in Canada and I use it all the time, and not as slang for bumsex. I always thought it was the Brits who thought it was a bad word....

I presumed she meant her children were already at school so wouldn't be in the same class as this one.

Bugger is very slangy and not exactly polite, but I think she's being very hypocritical! She's taught him actual swear words...

I used to get twat and twit mixed up, that was embarrassing

Dp tried to tell me that twat meant a ducks bum. He managed to keep a straight face for all of 2 minutes

Happypoobum: "I am in the south east and bugger has very clear gay sex connotations here. "

Really? I'm also in the south east and I wouldn't say so. I use "bugger" all the time and regard it as very mild. Obviously I'm aware of its meaning, but the one thing that should be clear about swear words is that their level of offensiveness isn't related to their literal meaning.

I used to have a friend who objected to "Oh God", because it's blasphemous. Unfortunately, I use it all the time.

I wouldn't use bugger - where I live (south) it's definitely a homophobic insult.

I know someone who has sacked for using it at work when shouting at a gay colleague.

I think this thread is getting derailed by the regional (?) differences about use of the particular word OP had allegedly used though. Let's assume it was "bloody"

She has a real nerve trying to blame you for her own shortcomings OP. Don't engage and distance yourself from her in future.