Mum friend has told me off for using the word 'bugger'

[OohMavis]

Because her 3yo has been saying it, and she thinks the only person she knows who uses the word is me. She isn't happy.

Now, I'll hold my hands up and fully acknowledge that not everyone considers the word bugger to be an innocuous, and at times endearing, way to refer to your children And in any other circumstance I would have profusely apologised.

Except... her 3yo swears like a sailor seriously, the kid swears more than me. We all went out shopping together once, me and her and all of our kids, and he spent the entire time hollering FUUUUUCCCK CCCUUUNNNTT from the back seat. She said it's because he hears her swear all the time.

AIBU in thinking that the odd utterance of bugger is the least of her worries, and that she is taking the piss a bit in getting so annoyed with me? She hasn't stopped swearing, she isn't making an effort to stop him swearing. This telling-off has come out of the blue!

Buggerlugs and bugger are terms of affection here.

You're being used as a scapegoat op. Horse, door, bolted spring to mind.

I always thought it was bug-a-lugs rather than buggerlugs...

YY to it being in Disney's Cars, Lizzy reminiscing fondly about her husband, the "old bugger". But I was a bit first time I heard it.

Bugger is a swear word for me and I wouldn't use it in front of my kids and I wouldn't want anyone else too.

However your friend is a hypocrite and I'd have called her on it straight away!??

Yep she's got a cheek. I'd say she was a cheeky bugger. Although if it was a serious telling off then she's being a proper cunt.

Some people on here are clenching so hard they're in serious danger of being sucked up their own arses.

I don't see a problem with the word bugger personally, but I suppose it depends on where your from.

My nan always used to say to us 'oh bugger off will you' but not in a nasty or rude way, just when she had 10 kids all asking what there was to eat etc.
She also used to say 'bugger all'

I don't use the word but I wouldn't be angry if anyone said it in front of my kids, as it only reminds me of my nan and I don't associate it with being a horrible word.

I'd rather that then fuck or cunt. That's appalling that anyone can use them words in front of a children, especially at that age.
Surely he will be due to start school soon, then I'm sure she will be very embarrassed when she has to explain where his heard that!

Home counties here - nobody I know would use the word bugger in any sense other than meaning bumsex, so clearly there are some regional differences!

How dare she try to blame you for her DS swearing when she is a total potty mouth? You did well not telling her to fuck off OP

As I once heard a mother say to her toddler in Southend Stop that fucking swearing

Another one for bugger as a term of endearment here! I was affectionately called a little bugger, or a cheeky bugger when I was misbehaving but more in a ''look how cute and naughty you're being'' way.

Well it was Southend Andrewfogg, what did you expect.

Bugger is a term of endearment around these -notanal- parts too , you might not use it in Church or School or in some places of work , although I have fondly chastised a certain patient with the line ' you are a cantankerous old bugger ' and he replied 'I am but my mother loved me ' , which I am sure she did and for all his cantakerousness you would see why if you ever had the privelage to meet the bugger

My MlL taught ds to Sa 'bugger". She's northern, I m not, but then again neither is DH. She was deputy head btw. Ahem!!

Maybe she's homophobic?

Regents

South Coast. Bugger is a verb to describe the act of taking someone up the Oxo Tower. Obviously only to be spoken of on a Friday though - was it a Friday OP?

My dad seemed to believe that twat was an innocous term akin to 'idiot' and certainly not slang for ladyparts.

Isn't bugger a bit homophobic these days?

Erm two wrongs don't make a right. He may be picking up worse language from her but that doesn't mean you shouldn't apologise for him picking another bad word up from you. She sounds like a bit of a crap parent of her three year old has picked all the other language up from her but that doesn't make it alright for you to have effectively taught him more inappropriate language.

Surely you just laughed in her face OP?!

The word bugger is not always bad, depends where you're from

Cambridge dictionary

Midlands, and it's used informally similar to Yorkshire and not meaning bumsex.

It's practically a compliment here in Yorkshire

We use bugger as a term of endearment here too
'Cheeky bugger'
'Silly bugger'
'buggerlugs'
'c'mere, ya bugger'

Next time tell her ' I don't give a flying fuck if you don't like my swearing, you can fuck off to the far side of fuck you shitting cunt face'

Bugger won't seem so bad then

Does her 3 year old DC have older siblings?

I do think she's possibly anticipating getting into trouble (if she hasn't already) for her potty-mouth, and is looking to shift blame.

Don't be that blame.

Say to her very clearly that your only profanity is 'bugger' and that it's a term of affection where you are from and then ask her how he learned those other words!!!!

I learned the word 'bugger' when reading All Creatures Great and Small as a teenager (eg cows referred to as t'owd bugger). I had no idea why my older bro looked shocked and told me I couldn't say that!

My youngest first proper word was bugger! We called her buggerlugs for ages so was our own fault! Buggerlugs is a term of endearment here not a swear word.
I try not to swear I front of the kids but Having said that she is 2 now and recently copied me saying ffs when I ripped my dress on the baby gate.

IamalsoSpartacus twat also meant idiot when i was a child too.

Night sky I'm from Yorkshire and we use bugger almost as a term of endearment

Cunt and fuck are awful. *
Exactly. I'm Australian and "bugger" is a good, multi-purpose word. Buggerising around" for messing around and wasting time, "I'm buggered" - exhausted, "it's buggered" - broken, "silly bugger" - affectionately, etc.