to really take against H's new friend?

[Bogeyface]

I just dont like him. I think that he is manipulative and not to be trusted, but I cant base that on anything concrete that he has done, its just a gut feeling.

I met him properly for the first time last night after an initial "this is so and so" and the odd hello when I picked H up from work, and seeing him interact with the rest of their work colleagues just made me feel odd about him.

I have googled him and he has a conviction for a major theft a few years ago, and maybe that is influencing my feelings, but I just dont trust him.

He has served his time (well almost, his sentence still has a few months to run but he is out on certain conditions, is it time off for good behaviour or something?) so H feels like I should give him a chance.

AIBU to not want to do this? I am not concerned about H being persuaded to get involved in crime, he wouldnt do that, but I dont want him unwittingly being used by this guy if he did decide to go back to crime such as an alibi or whatever.

If OP husband is that naive then his so called friend could be setting him up to take the fall for whatever criminal activity (if anything), he has planned, or just be out to cause trouble between OP & hubby for his own amusement. Either way you have my sympathy OP.

I find it crazy how so many of you have constructed elaborate scenarios about this man and his intentions based on almost nothing.

A) he committed a crime - yes, and now he's served his time in prison. Should he be ostracised for the rest of life and have no opportunity to make friends?

B) OP has a 'gut feeling'. Based on nothing. If you don't trust him, then fine, don't be around him. But would you appreciate it if your husband said he had a 'gut feeling' about one of your friends and then tried to discourage the friendship on the basis of it ? I wouldn't.

C) he sends DH a text everyday with a nickname - so what ? He's trying too hard but he's hardly acting like a psycho. He may be very insecure underneath the bonhomie and therefore over investing in new friendships. And it's your husband he is texting not you, so I don't even see why you would have an issue with it.

'Gut feelings' may seem to be 'based on nothing' but they are signals from the limbic brain that can literally save our lives pretzel.

If a significant other who I knew to be non-controlling told me they had a gut instinct about one of my friends I'd listen, and I'd endeavour to be more observant when in the friend's company,.