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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to leave a tip ?

621 replies

cookieswirls · 25/11/2016 22:38

Went for a meal tonight nothing fancy just pizza and my friend seemed mortified that I didn't leave a tip. I was paying for our meal and I generally don't leave tips. Ive never left a tip for anyone actually not taxi drivers, hairdressers, waiters is that mean of me ?

OP posts:
RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 27/11/2016 20:12

We would tip 10% on £100 plus meal

The only time we dont is if we have bought expensive drinks

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/11/2016 20:15

Ah... we're inveterate table-tidiers as well.

I'm a big fan of the steak too and it is always cooked the way I ask for it - medium. It's so unusual in restaurants that I wanted to give the chef a big sloppy kiss last time I had it... nevermind a tip!

FameNameGameLame · 27/11/2016 20:18

I don't believe for a minute the posters saying that they would tip 10-15% on an £80 mea

You don't believe someone would pay £88-£92 instead of £80? What's the difference? If you have £80 for a meal you have £88-£92 for a meal and some manners?

This is why I offer the accusation of being stingy.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/11/2016 20:18

Rufus, sounds about right. It's more the over-loud critiquers on the thread that I was referring to in my post. Empty kettles and all that...

BarbaraofSeville · 27/11/2016 20:21

Can someone give examples of 'over and above' exceptional service, because I'm confused. Being nice and knowing about the menu, explaining the specials and any 'tweaks' is part of the job - ie if you order something and would be better off getting it as part of a set menu etc. So not something extra that needs rewarding.

I do tip when eating out in groups, but mostly out of obligation and to avoid arguments. I probably tip when the service has been quite crap tbh but don't want to waste money but I probbaly do tip more than exceptional or even good service, like I said upthread, service often isn't that great unless we have extremely low expectations from wait staff.

There are a lot of people out there doing a lot more than being nice to people and fetching and carrying a few plates for NMW. It seems like some people on here have very low expectations of what is an easy or hard job too if you think waiting tables is hard. I've done it and I've done retail work and some other low paid jobs and they aren't that hard really. I can think of a lot more jobs that are a lot harder for similar pay. Care work is one, but there are many others.

Bus drivers earn similar money, but need to be able to get a PSV licence. There are loads of people on here that seem terrified of driving and can barely pilot a small car on local roads, so I can't imagine them be able to drive a large and difficult to see around and manouvere vehicle to the desired standard.

Not so long ago I had a little lunch by myself and I gave my order and the waiter said 'do you want anything to drink today'? and I said, 'apart from the pint of lager and jug of tap water that I asked for'? which suggested to me he had taken no notice whatsover of my order. He then tried to persuade me to have the 3 for 2 tapas deal but I had already ordered 3 tapas, one of which wasn't in the deal but I really wanted it so was happy to miss out on 3/2 to get the food I wanted, but he was insistent, so I said 'unless I can have the 3 tapas I want on 3/2, I'll just have them at nomal menu prices' and he wasn't particularly happy about me not taking the deal, but I still left a couple of quid and that was just for a quick lunch whre the bill was around £16.

I did have to work quite hard to tip a hotel receptionist 5 euros after she searched an entire hotel for a trolley so I could move some heavy and expensive equipment from my car to my hotel room when staying in Ireland for work.

To me that was exceptional service as she seemed to treat it as her mission of the moment to find the trolley and help me with the equipment but when I tried to give her a 5 euro note to say thank you, she didn't want to accept it.

But apparently the basics of fetching and carrying plates warrants a similar amount or else you are stingy.

inappropriateraspberry · 27/11/2016 20:21

I always thought tips should be earnt. We'll tip however much the bill is, if service has been really good. However, if it's just take your money and put some food in front of you, I wouldn't. As to hairdressers, I do tip as they don't get the full amount of what I'm paying for the cut. Taxi drivers, I may say keep the change, but rarely use them. Tips on the UK are an extra, and shouldn't be expected. I've been given a tip before when working in a retails sales environment because I did my job well, totally unexpected and not needed as part of wages.

Maireadplastic · 27/11/2016 20:23

Always 10% unless service or meal is awful.

FameNameGameLame · 27/11/2016 20:23

Don't get personal - that is bullying behaviour and I think on a parent forum we can at least all agree on the fact that bullying is never okay.

limitedperiodonly · 27/11/2016 20:23

Lying there are jobs - waiting is one - where there is a convention of tipping. So I do that. In my travels I have found places where I want to return frequently and be treated well. Therefore I tip the staff more generously than the 12.5 per cent I customarily tip waiting staff in other places. It works well for me.

BarbaraofSeville · 27/11/2016 20:26

People getting so defensive about people who chose to share their money around

That's not what people are getting defensive about. People are getting defensive about being called tight for not tipping people on similar wages that are just fulfilling the bare minimum of what they are being paid to do.

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 27/11/2016 20:30

Fair enough lying

FameNameGameLame · 27/11/2016 20:31

But Barbara it is considered tight, by most people.

Even some posters here who against tipping, they do when they are in a group to avoid arguments. Or is it to avoid seeming tight?

I just don't understand why being tight with money isn't something that people can just admit to, and own it if that is their choice to do that with their money.

To start attacking the convention of tipping and making such ridiculous assumptions... it just becomes all a bit, " I think the lady(or gent) doth protest too much..."

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 27/11/2016 20:35

Oh man i missed the grin

Grin
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/11/2016 20:37

limited, it's the 'better service' thing that I was interested in. I wondered what it was that you wanted as part of that, that's all. When you say 'treated well' is that particularly different from the normal service that you tip for?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/11/2016 20:39

Rufus, if it was for me then have one too Grin. This thread, needs 'gin' more than ' grin' though! (with a 10% tip for a near-naked Donald Sutherland lookie-likey thrown in. Wink)

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 27/11/2016 20:42

It was definitely for you Grin

Wine
Itchyclit · 27/11/2016 20:46

I don't tip. It's a good way to remind your server that they should have worked harder at school.

FameNameGameLame · 27/11/2016 20:50

Itchyclit Shock

anotheronebitthedust · 27/11/2016 20:56

"I can confidently say that old people, who generally have the least income, are the most frequent and generous tippers"

Funny, because I can confidently say that lots of older people are as rich as, if not much better off than the majority of working people.

Except my confidence is actually backed up with, you know, objective statistics and information, rather than a subjective, very limited personal 'feeling' :

uk.businessinsider.com/ifs-income-poverty-report-young-people-versus-old-people-and-brexit-impact-2016-7
www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/pensions/11944141/Pensioners-are-9-a-week-better-off-than-those-in-work.html
www.autoenrolment.co.uk/news/2015/11/retired-households-10-better-off-than-before-the-recession-but-workers-are-worse-off
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/pensioners-earning-more-than-the-average-worker-new-analysis-says-a6701851.html

I thought the idea behind tipping was to reward excellent service. I don't even apply that high a standard, generally as long as service is 'good' I will tip. Unfortunately that still means I don't end up tipping half the time, as service is so poor in this country. Grumpy staff, having to practically tackle someone to get the bill, being kept waiting for ages...

Nobody who insists on the necessity of tipping, in any of these threads or in real life, has ever been able to give any reason other than 'it's traditional,' to explain why some jobs deserve tips, while others that are equally hard-work and ill-paid (or more so), don't.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/11/2016 21:06

another, now you've done it, confused them with the facts! Shock

It grated on me too but then so much in this thread has, it's really quite shocking.

treaclesoda · 27/11/2016 21:19

A few posters have mentioned tipping more when they intend to return somewhere because it ensures better service in future. Do you not find that staff turnover in restaurants is so constant that by the time you go back the waiting staff would be totally different?

Bettyspants · 27/11/2016 21:20

I'm in the UK, I tip if it's good service. Completely different here to the US due to the level of pay. Someone above commented that it's impossible to live off minimum wage 😂 A huge proportion of our country manages it just fine....

FameNameGameLame · 27/11/2016 21:24

Do you not find that staff turnover in restaurants is so constant

No. In establishments where there is a good tipping culture you tend to find the best waiters get their jobs there, and keep them for prolonged periods of time.

frikadela01 · 27/11/2016 21:28

How on earth would you know what the tipping culture of a restaurant is? Do you know all the customers? Do you ask all the wait staff?

frikadela01 · 27/11/2016 21:30

I imagine low staff turnover in restaurants is probably much more to do with good working conditions, good pay, good management, a good team more than whether the customers tip. But of course you take all the credit if it makes you feel better

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