To be relieved at an ASD diagnosis

[MrsBB1982]

Posting for traffic I guess.

There's a lot of back story but my DS has hard a hard time with school including being taken out for a while before restarting at a new school.

At his old school we were made to feel he was just plain naughty and we needed to discipline him more words like violent, unruly, disruptive, unempathetic and unkind were used...about a 4 year old. It was heartbreaking.

His new school have been great. They took us aside and suggested this was not just naughtiness but something else.

They were right. He's been diagnosed with mild Aspergers syndrome. Since the diagnosis and some measures have been put in place he's been showing himself to be the wonderful boy we know and love at school as well as at home. We've seen him laugh and joke in a way we've never seen before.

I thought I'd be so sad at the diagnosis but I feel so guilty that I'm not. I'm relirked, almost happy. Surely that's not the right response?

mistress I can imagine that telling a DC (who struggles with anxiety) that they have anxiety might be a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy. DS2 and I are lucky that he is really not at all anxious so I had no worries that explaining his DX would bother him. He was most matter of fact about it. You know your DC best, and he sounds very different to my DS, so if you feel he's not ready you are probably right.

What's the saying? If you've met one child with autism, you've met... one child with autism!

What's the saying? If you've met one child with autism, you've met... one child with autism!

Absolutely!

That was a cross post, mistress but I think we are singing from the same hymnsheet!

What's the saying? If you've met one child with autism, you've met... one child with autism!

Haha, that's perfect!

Made me and DH both chuckle. :o

(And lovely to see you, moose )

You too Ellen.

Of course YANBU. The diagnosis doesn't change who he is, just opens doors to understanding for him, others, you and support he and you might need.

Op my advice is if you can get on the early bird plus course do it.

It made me understand ASD and was able to parent him more suitable than a NT child, before that I did a general parenting course because I thought ds behaviour and was my fault.

There are days which no matter what I have in place nothing works and those days are a pure nightmare. However there are days where it's amazing.

After explaining ds Asd to him he now sees himself different. But I also explained that many things make people different, and differences make people unique.

YANBU

I felt very relieved when DS1 was diagnosed. It made things so much easier to say to school/drs etc "DS has AS" rather than "DS finds x, y and z difficult". Suddenly I became "mother of sn child" instead of "overprotective helicopter mother" in the eyes of professionals.

With telling DS we explained to him that Aspergers syndrome is a word used to describe people who find certain things difficult. We said that nobody finds everything easy and different people find different things difficult.

Totally understand where you're coming from OP. It's a very emotional time.

My DS (almost 7) has ADHD.

We have found my dad and his wife (a nurse) very supportive and helpful. My dad doesn't get bogged down in the details but just once he realised DS was different, he was able to go slower with him, no longer saw him as naughty, just requiring a different approach.

My mother (an educator!) seems to be in the ADHD doesn't exist camp which has been disappointing. She was happy to believe DS' other diagnosis of 'giftedness' though . So we just don't talk about it.

We have told him that his brain is wired differently and that the tablets he takes help to keep him calm and focused at school. He seems to accept that and I think that is sufficient information at age 6.

All the very best for the years ahead!!

Relief is perfectly understandable. We're on the cusp of an ADHD diagnosis- it's been a year waiting so far with three more months to get a first appointment with CAMHS. I first sought help three years ago but was dismissed. DD has always been difficult, nightmare as a baby and didn't get easier in any rush, although she's pretty fab in many ways too. It's bloody hard and so unfair being left to deal with a SN child and no support for so many years. Each time we have a confirmation of our suspicions I feel a rush of happy relief before a wave of sadness and grief. Thankfully it settles and we see her as a happy child who needs a bit of extra support but should be ok. And thankfully we can afford to get support privately as I feel so let down by the NHS so far.