To be relieved at an ASD diagnosis

[MrsBB1982]

Posting for traffic I guess.

There's a lot of back story but my DS has hard a hard time with school including being taken out for a while before restarting at a new school.

At his old school we were made to feel he was just plain naughty and we needed to discipline him more words like violent, unruly, disruptive, unempathetic and unkind were used...about a 4 year old. It was heartbreaking.

His new school have been great. They took us aside and suggested this was not just naughtiness but something else.

They were right. He's been diagnosed with mild Aspergers syndrome. Since the diagnosis and some measures have been put in place he's been showing himself to be the wonderful boy we know and love at school as well as at home. We've seen him laugh and joke in a way we've never seen before.

I thought I'd be so sad at the diagnosis but I feel so guilty that I'm not. I'm relirked, almost happy. Surely that's not the right response?

FFS read the posts.

What the heck is a "specialist in SEN" anyway?

Who in the world had ever been diagnosed with "mild aspergers" -with anything by such a person?

I'm hiding the thread. Reporting is not achieving much tonight.

Bye.

Tbh fliss, I do see the value of 'aspergers' as a diagnosis. I do feel it sets it apart from the more severe autism at the other end of the spectrum (very clumsily worded, sorry). I fully expected my son to be diagnosed with aspergers because to me I know exactly the traits that that suggests, whereas by its very nature, his asd diagnosis leaves a lot of room for misunderstanding and wrong expectations about him.

I imagine you've been reported also manu.

And yes. Pls do hide the thread and spare us anymore of your disgraceful behaviour towards a mum who's child had just been diagnosed.

OP have you had a chat with DS about how and when he chooses to disclose his diagnosis? I know you're only just getting your head around it but as this thread demonstrates, there is always someone who wants to question and undermine what a person's been told, even with hard-won help. Does he understand what's happened and how does he feel about it?

Off you pop Manu Perhaps the OP will come back now since you got your little rants off your chest. What disgusting posts from someone who could have supported the OP.

You're reporting on what grounds? That you're splitting hairs on technicalities because you've had a bad week?

AHEM

How would you feel Manu if you came on this board looking for some support and you got this aggressive bollocks? Lay off.

YANBU, I too felt massive relief upon diagnosis.

OP I'm glad for your feeling of relief
Here's hoping some real help and changes can be brought about to improve things for him.
I'm slightly behind you in the process, I also feel relief that his wonderful but challenging differences can be assessed to make his life the best it can be. It's bittersweet isn't it.
manumission we have been given the exact term by several teachers and the senco too!
I'm aware of the newer terms but that was just what we were told.
It's new and scary enough for us at the start of it without being interrogated about language ffs.

I generally think sn boards are just as twaty as aibu alot of the time.

Relief is the normal feeling op, nothing ur about that.

Terminology is pretty important imo though. It passes down messages that can be negative and can be destructive. Like the use of sen kid/asd kid/normal kid etc (just as bad on sen boards ime). It can create and feed into alot of missassuptions -like 'everyone's on the spectrum' crap or the idea that adhd is grown out of. 'Borderline' diagnosis talk bug me also, either a person meets enough criteria, have enough symptoms, that negatively effect their lives and dis-able them from accessing education/work/community, and therefor have a condition, or they don't, in which case they don't have it. The fact that some people will meet some, but not enough, of the criteria is neither here nor there, they are not borderline for asd/pda/adhd/spd etc.

But op deserves to catch her breath before getting to grips with all that ; )

Evening, Olivia.

Happy Friday.

Sloane the problem with aspergers as a diagnosis is exactly that it is considered less severe than autism. In reality someone can be high functioning in that they are verbal and can take care of themselves in simple terms yet are so disabled by other aspects of asd that they have a much poorer quality of life, like if a person's social problems are so extreeme they can't work or cope within education despite being intelligent.

My children would be a great example, but from another perspective, they have no easily identifiable asd traits, they don't use echolalia, or stim, they use eye contact naturally, they are verbal, social, have friends. But they have pda & spd and their anxieties and avoidance of pressure and sensory reactions are so extreeme that they are unable to access education, health care unless emergency, or use self care like brush their teeth or use a toilet.

The use of aspergers has been found to have wide ranging implications for all the children who don't fit into the neat little boxes, yet who meet asd crieteria. It effects how hcp/teachers etc view their needs, it effects how they see their disability etc.

Gamy ds was diagnosed with HF asd in June, I had known something was wrong since three ish and sought help fro our health visitor. She visited a few times then rang me to tell me she couldn't help as our area was not deprived enough and had no funding. I sought help through school who also ignored my concerns. My go finally got a paed appt and it was also a relief to get a professional diagnosis to confirm what you already new. Suddenly new opportunities have opened up, the team got dla for him and we can pay for a private tutor so he can get one to one help to catch up. He is generally a happy boy and has just learned to ride a bike at ten, he has coordination problems and I am feeling proud today. 🌻 Pm me if you would like

I guess I should point out that teachers, even SEN teachers in mainstream or special schools are not qualified to DX anything except perhaps dyslexia. Only medically trained paediatricians or clinical psychologists, usually within part of a team of experts which may include educational psychologists or speech therapists etc, can DX.

Yes the term Aspergers is still being used alongside high functioning autism, I've had a lot of contact in the last couple of years with doctors, health visitors, ed psych's and various others to discuss the subject. I think it depends on who your talking to, and whether they are trying to explain things in laymans, or slightly more familiar terms to a person who may not be familiar with recent changes in terminology.

Manumission you're salty AF, and need to check yourself.

It's very odd how people have jumped down the ops throat. She's just getting to grips with the terminology and only just starting to understand the condition. Give OP a break

I'm so relieved that you've got a diagnosis for your son OP. It must be like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. I'm just starting the process for myself as an adult. Wish me luck!

Î agree my sons disability is hidden, you would never guess he is ASD , this is partly why the professionals don't believe you. He can function well in a conversation with adults but not know how to relate to his peers. He has few friends and is a bit of a loner. I carry an autism awareness card with me to flas at ignorant folk when he is having a meltdown to avoid comments. I have had people tell me he needs a good slap FFS!

The problem with the asd diagnosis is that it covers such a massive range of people with very different needs and experiences.

I think the terminology and diagnosis will continue to evolve.

YANBU - I have Aspergers and the diagnosis was a mixed blessing at the time. Ten years later I'm glad I pushed for it

Thank you for your messages. I'm still getting my head round it all. I didn't mean to cause offence if I've used the wrong terms. He's been seen by a team of people including a psychologist so I think the diagnosis is concrete as opposed to someone just plucking it out the air

eek we haven't spoken to DS about it yet. We're not sure how or when to bring it up. Currently he's in ignorant bliss and I'm not sure how to work it so he understands. I'm also not sure how helpful it'll be to him at the moment. I think we'll sort our heads out before dealing with how to tell him. How did other people tell their DS/DD and at what age?

My own questioning of the 'mild' diagnosis was more by way of commenting/warning that there is no such thing. Even if your DC is not displaying signs of being distressed, chances are they are finding daily life very difficult and as such cannot be just mildly affected. Something to bear in mind.

You have described my Dd to a tee, except instead of mild she is borderline, hope that term suits you better Manumission, and yes it is a relief.