To make DD cut her hair

[foamybananasweets]

DD is 10yo and has hair almost to her bum. She loves having long hair. She also loves swimming and trains with a squad 4x a week.

2 of those sessions are on week days and she gets out of the pool at 9pm. If she doesn't wash her hair it gets really horrible due to talc in hat and chlorine from water. She takes an age to wash her hair (there really is tonnes of it as its thick) and with drying it something like dry (not totally dry) she is rarely in bed before 10pm. And this is me doing everything I can to rush her... This is too late for her, and she is foul to be around, especially in the mornings as she is tired.

AIBU to say it's swimming or the long hair?

Yoarchie I wish DD would agree to it, but she is very set on keeping her long hair

You can get the silicone hats with a big bump for super long hair, (less stretching/pulling required) could you see if she would tolerate one of those without talc?

I think we have silicone hats, not sure tho. Are those the thick ones or he thin ones? (We have both but she likes the thin ones)

If you put a lycra cap on first it's easy to shove all the hair in and then easy to put the proper swim cap on top.
But I'd also see off DD would have a few inches cut off her hair!

I would tell her that unless she speeds up in the shower she has to have a few inches cut off her hair or cut down on the swimming. I know I'm mean, but I really wouldn't have the patience for tired, grumpy children who are foul to their parents!

Are there any swimming clubs that finish earlier in the evening? I think 9pm on 4 evenings a week is much too late for a 10 year old.

foamy, does the swim cap keep her hair dry? Or does it just keep it out of the way but it still gets wet?

No hair still get wet under cap. If it was mostly dry I could leave it.

All of you going on about the cheap microfiber towels they are sh*t compared to the Aquis ones, all my DDs covert my microfiber one as the difference is that noticeable.

I would say to your DD that she needs a few (6) inches off her hair - will make it less work and yet still me significantly long.

Ive put that towel on my Christmas list!

foamy sorry for the delay in getting back to you, have been out. In which case, are you able to help your dd wash her hair? Speaking as the mum of a ds with aspergers, slightly older than your dd, I had to do more for him than I would for others. I know it is not ideal in teaching her life skills but I would make life as quick and easy on the school nights when swimming and get your dd to work on speed and other skills at times when time is not so important.

E.g. school nights - wash hair for dd, squirt soap into her hands, dry her, help her with awkward clothing. Then on a weekend, leave her to do each step herself but maybe with a time guide from you (ok dd, you have had 5 minutes in the shower, you should be rinsing your hair now).

(sorry if you are doing this, and I know it doesnt help with the hair thing, but I'm just trying to think of other ways to help).

Another thanks for your post, I started out washing her hair for her, but it really made her stand out as different (and she is one of the oldest in her squad due to her SN.) so I spent a long time teaching her to do it herself. I give her a few mins then go and remind her to keep things moving. None of the other mums do this despite there being a few others who take 20 mins to wash their long hair

I go in the cubical with her and dry her and dress her, not because she can't do it, but she is so bloomin slow that I can save 10 mins by helping. I put her in her pjs so she is ready for bed, all she needs when she gets in is a quick blast with the hair drier and a glass of milk before bed,

I could pull her into the disabled showers and wash her hair, but she struggles with friendships and has a couple of swimming friends that she is becoming very close to, so I don't want to completely kill that part of things.

I just wish they started earlier, but the pool runs swimming lessons til 7pm so it's the earliest the club can hire it from. The only quick fix I can see is the hair cut, but appreciate i ABU

foamy ok, ds doesn't have long hair, but I used to stand where he could see me and give him a count down for getting out the shower because he would have lived in it. Then like you I would have to dry and dress him if we had places to go. It wasn't unusual for us to take 30 minutes plus to shower, dry and dress if he was left to do it himself, but with prompts from me. Can I just say, it will get better. A couple of times this month he has been woken up then got himself showered, dressed, out the door and on the train in 35 minutes .

Is there a swim cap you can get which will keep her hair dry?

Otherwise, could you get her hair trimmed by an inch at a time, and see how she feels? Not a drastic cut but just take a little, and see how she feels about it? It will grow back fairly if she hates it, but it can be cut slowly shorter if she is happy with it.

I swim in my lunch hour at work and have very thick, long hair.

I have discovered the best thing is to give it a quick blast with the dryer, then tie it back while it's still wet and a quick blast of the pony tail.

It actually looks and feels pretty dry (even though it isn't underneath) and dries into a nice shape too.

Whole thing takes about 5 mins.

I plait mine damp and live with the waves!!

Is having her leave half an hour early not an option?