Dh has been having letters from his ex-wife’s solicitor relating to the payments he’s making her. He has expected me to respond to these letters. I have no legal training and they advised him to get his own legal advice. He then consulted a parent of DS friend who is a solicitor. He agreed to help draft a response, and DH gave me to understand said parent had agreed to help him for free – I was sceptical as I wondered what he (the parent ) was getting form it, but accepted what DH said on face value. I duly wrote a letter based on scribbled notes DH received from this solicitor parent.
When I bumped into said parent I thanked him for helping and he looked surprised and said – oh no, I’m not taking on free advice & assistance, I just said I will have a look at the letter (and any reply DH gets) and advise him if he has a case.
Massive shock for me as I realise DH is up to his old tricks of (a) conning me and (b) expecting something for nothing – I.e. Refusing to pay for proper legal advice. I talked to DH and said I don not want to be responsible for writing his letters.
He promised me he would get an appt with a solicitor and hand the whole thing over to them to take the stress and worry away from me. He duly told me he had an appt. However….. This turned out to be a free family law surgery organised by his union, and he has now come back to me saying that I need to write a letter for him based on what they told him at this free clinic. He claimed they said it would cost £500 if they wrote the letter.
I was so angry. I re-iterated he needs to get his own legal advice and I can’t be writing letters for him. He has money he could use for this, why not use it, or at least give me something for writing the letters (this will be the 3rd I have written for him based on cheap scribbled notes). He then had the cheek to tell me that I was going to New York in January – as if it was some kind of treat he had paid for – when in fact I am funding myself from my savings.
I feel so frustrated he is trying to do the whole thing 'on the cheap', using me and my writing skills - although I know nothing about the subject matter or his legal rights and I have repeatedly told him I don’t want to do it.
I am at a loss as to how to proceed. He is completely inarticulate and unable to convey information on his own in written form.
If I leave him to muddle his own way through it will be a car crash, and potentially impact our family finances if his ex wife gets more than she might if he got proper advice. On the other hand I really don’t want to get involved as writing these letters causes he huge stress and anxiety.
Sorry for long post.
WWYD?