To be fed up of people telling me to give DD a dummy!!

[Sunshine511]

I'll begin by saying something quite controversial... I don't like dummies!! There, I've said it.

I personally think it's very much each to their own and that parents should be allowed to make the choices they feel are best for their babies, without everyone around them passing comment.

So, DD2 sucks her thumb and I have had people saying things like "you're mummy needs to give you a dummy. You can take a dummy away but you can't take a thumb away!" And various other comments.

My bug bear is that if I said "actually I don't like dummies, personally" I'd be met with a death stare and treated like I'm being judgemental. The fact is, I'm probably the least judgemental person you could meet! Some people breastfeed, others hate the the thought of breast feeding. Some give dummies, others don't and so on. We should all be allowed to have our own views on things and make the choices we feel best about without others passing judgement.

So how do I deal with the dummy comments? Do I just blurt it out that I don't like them? Or do I just nod politely?

If she sucks her thumb then she highly likely wont substitute that for a dummy anyway DD2 and 3 were both thumb suckers and were close to 10 before they stopped.
Neither would take a dummy.

I didn't put much effort into making them as why bother? if they are thumb suckers they will simply go back to that when dummy is not available and short having a dummy in their mouth constantly that will happen.

See I think that's brilliant! Honestly if my DD only used her dummy on a night in bed I don't think I'd be so bothered about getting rid of them. But the problem I have is that she wants hers all of the time, as soon as she wakes up, if we are out anywhere even if we are just sat around the house doing nothing, Also DD is a brilliant speaker, But the dummy makes her lazy & when she has it in she doesn't pronounce words properly & I and everyone struggle to understand anything she says which is frustrating because when it isn't in you can understand everything!!

The major kick offs as well when she looses one because she's put it somewhere that nobody know and refuses to go and look for it herself
Or when she finds that she has bitten through every single dummy she has and won't take one because it's "broken"
They make life so hard!!!

And oh no splendide what a nightmare!!
I have always given my DD them loose and I kick myself for that every single day!!

My ds wouldn't take a dummy but friends whose kids did complained of them losing them in their fit twenty times a night.

So OP - just tell people that your dd doesn't want a dummy, she prefers her thumb.
I think if you say you don't like them there will be people feel it's a judgement in them if they do use one.

There isn't a strong link between dummy use and the prevention of sids. The NHS says "it's possible using a dummy at the start of sleep also reduces the risk of sids. However, the evidence is not strong and not all experts agree that dummies should be promoted".

It's properly annoying! He now wakes me in the night and I go in and he's holding bunny but he needs a fifth dummy - it's such a farce.

Digestive muncher: 5kids here , 3 had dummies, 1 just went off it on their own at 2 ish, 1 got left on holiday, 1 got left in a stocking for Santa. Both of those we're 3 ish.

One of mine is now I'm their 20s and confessed recently that she had a secret one in her bedroom and some times used to sneak it in her book bag in reception and stick her head in her tray occasionally for a quick comfort suck, Whatever gets u through the day I suppose

I think the trick is to throw them away gradually until u have whittled it down to 1, then u can have a ceremonial disposal or just let it die a natural death.

The upset doesn't last more than a couple of bedtimes and if a new toy is acquired at the same time that can help.
There is a book called the doodoo tree I think it's by Jill murphy, all about giving up your dummy it's really good that May be worth getting. They bury it in the garden.

Oh I I think I would loose the plot! I hate having to constantly go in every time DD drops her dummy on the floor or looses it in the cot somewhere I would be far from impressed if she already had 4 but wanted another one.🙈

Haha State that made me chuckle!! That would probably be something my DD would do.

We have tried the whittling it down to one it's no use, she has them stashed all over the house all of which I have tried to find myself but can't.

I think I'm going to put them out for Santa with her on Christmas Eve. Put her to bed without it with her favourite blanket and see if she will go off. If not then I'm just going to give her it and wait till she grows out I suppose :/

I may invest in the book that you mentioned though!!! Sounds like that could be a good idea too.

My DS found his thumb at about 4 months old and stopped of his own accord at abut 10 months old. I didn't use a dummy as I just didn't feel he needed one, I had no issue with listening to his little murmurings and noises. Several friends used them, despite the children not being particularly distressed or noisy but that was their choice. I didn't really care they used them but they sure did care that I didn't, which I found odd. One lady said to me 'oh my god where is his dummy' once when he was being quite loud. He wasn't crying, he wasn't screaming, he was just cooing and giggling, probably sounded quite screetchy if you don't like loud babies but he wasn't distressed and I wasn't giving him one just to save her ears.

Urgh, i had mine til i was 5 and i honestly think it contributed to my overbite and offset jaw.
I tried to give it up at Christmas when i was 4, but came down in the night to take it back from under the tree where i put it for "Santa".
In all the childhood photos my front teeth were definitely stunted, with a rounded gap from where my dummy was.
I hate my top front teeth because of the distortion but was never offered braces to fix them, and as an adult, can't afford it.
I really would think carefully how often and how long you give a child a dummy.

I don't like dummies, however DS2 does, and wails inconsolably until he's given one.

Sometimes your parenting attitudes change when your kids work differently from how you want.

itsbetter

A lot of people are snobby about them.

I love them. My 8mo is a sensitive little chap and finds the world an overwhelming place. Sucking comforts him. Would only be his thumb otherwise.

I had one til I was three, no impact on either speech or teeth.

I agree, several people have asked where my baby's dummy is over the last few weeks and two took great offence to me replying 'oh, he doesn't have one'.

I think they should only be used before bed if you are using one and I'd only use one if I had a very screaming/colicky baby to stop then gulping down air.

I also don't want to miss the baby's feeding cues and I don't want to cause any problems with language development and I want him to be comfortable self soothing.

I, however, would never say this to a parent using a dummy, whereas dummy users seem happy to tell me off for not using one!

Neither of mine liked dummies and spat them out, favouring their thumbs instead. Great, I thought, no worrying about grubby lost dummies for me.

Now I wish I'd just duck taped the bloody dummies to their faces. Both have damaged their teeth by sucking their thumbs. DD pushed (pulled) her top ones out and DS has pushed his bottom ones in. Luckily for DD an unfortunate accident meant she had to stop sucking her thumb and her teeth have straightened up reasonably well. There's no hope for DS (13) though who won't give up his thumb sucking habit, will need a corrective brace but can't have one until he stops.

I don't like dummies. I don't like the way they look and hate to see toddlers taking with them in their mouths. Saying that, DS has about four! I resisted for ages but caved when his colic was really bad and had to concede that they helped him sleep. He's 16 months now and they are restricted to naptimes and bedtimes and occasionally when he is upset in the car. I am thinking about trying to get rid of them soon because I want them gone when he starts properly talking.

I still think they are the lesser eveil when compared to thumb sucking. I sucked my thumb for years and had crooked teeth (and a weird callousy thing on my thumb) to thank it for.

None of that is relevent to the OP though to be fair! As i said earlier in relation to that, smile and nod and do what you were going to do anyway.

Not read all the posts but I don't like dummies either. Nephew is 4 and still has one. Not sure how old your daughter is but when mine used to thumb suck I'd offer her the boob instead for comfort. She soon forgot about thumb.

Another one confirming that thumb sucking causes your teeth to stick out. My friends daughter has caused so much damage to her teeth that its unlikely that a brace will even sort it out.
My eldest neither had a dummy or sucked his thumb. I really wish he would have taken one.. oh I tried. Nope he preferred to cry non stop!

well my dd was sucking her thumb from birth, and in fact still does it in private at the age of 18, and does not have sticky out teeth,,,,
so ner.

Anyway OP whatever you choose to do, is up to you. If you gave her a dummy it wouldnt stop her thumb sucking anyway.

So just tell the people who are saying it to STFU....

Alternatively just smile and wave, smile and wave.

God I had this problem too, DD has just turned 1 and people are still trying to get me to give her one as "she uses you as a dummy!" (I'm still breastfeeding) I never had an issue with dummies before I had her, but when she came along my anxiety of worrying if she's hungry prevented me from giving her one.

Just ignore them all and keep doing what you're doing. It's obviously working for you and your DD so sod everyone else!