To think that some people have no idea how to conduct themselves?

[Luckster]

I'm fuming this evening. I'm a teacher and work long hours like lots of other people so I'm totally exhausted and may have overreacted slightly to this.
Background information - dh is a cub leader. Not the only leader, but one of a team and one of them ( not sure which one but fairly sure it isn't dh has organised a visit to an activity centre tomorrow.

Having my dinner this evening and a woman knocks on my door. I don't know her but recognise her as a parent if a cub and know she lives somewhere on the road behind me. I answer the door and she starts off saying what's happening tomorrow then? I could tell she was worked up but as I have nothing to do with cubs I have no idea what they are doing and told her so. She was getting note and more upset and asked if dh was in. When I said no she pretty much tried to barge in. Basically she hasn't seen an email about times for tomorrow, has no idea what is going on and was crying and getting hysterical by this stage saying over and over - but I'm a nurse - what am I supposed to do?

She was really over the top and most definitely unhinged and then started ranting about it being unacceptable. I pointed out there was nothing that I could do and all I could do was speak I dh when he got home and see if he knew. I pointed out that he also works long hours and is a volunteer so sometimes he may not email in a timely manner but he is doing his best. (I refer back to the fact that I am pretty certain it is not him organising this event). Anyway she ranted on and on (hysteria!) so I told her she was too emotional and needed to get her shit together. I also told her not to darken my door again with her screaming and ranting and promptly shut the door and went inside.

Seriously there was nothing j could do to help her. I appreciate its frustrating and she just wanted to get organised but to yell and scream at a volunteers wife because they have no idea what is happening is just unreasonable.

She's pretty lucky I didn't tell her to fuck right off as I'm pretty conversant with swear words! I feel I was quite restrained to me. God knows how she'll react if I see her in the street again in our small village. Oh my god, I am actually so wound up. Seriously who goes and knocks on someone's door randomly and act unhinged because you don't know what time you are supposed to be somewhere??!! People are bloody hard work!

[KERALA1]

I find this armchair saintliness very amusing. Someone does something utterly outrageous rude or entitled and yet poor op is berated for not dropping everything, offering the horrid one her time, energy, practical help. Ridiculous.

There was a thread about a woman being really awful in a public loo something about a hand dryer. Op was berated for not taking the rude women out for a cup of tea and counselling sessions, as the mummy Martyrs would have done. Yeah right!

[FarAwayHills]

I'm with you OP. How can people seriously think that it's a good idea to invite a ranting stranger into your home for a cuppa and a chat?

[2kids2dogsnosense]

I do think leaders have a right to privacy

Absolutely agreeGroovee - especially as you are volunteers. And Luckster - I hope I didn't seem too critical when I suggested taking her phone number. I didn't mean to. As I said - I haven't had quite the same experience as you have (i.e. worrying over-waugh people actually on my doorstep), so I probably wouldn't be quite as blasé if my family was under threat. It's just that I have worked with people with mental health problems, and with serious head injuries, and am very aware that averting violence can be difficult.

[pipsqueak25]

def with op, you rant on my door step i'll ask you to shut the gate on your way out, now piss off.

[2kids2dogsnosense]

*over-wraught - ffs autocorrect!

[Luckster]

2kids2dogsnosense No, not too critical at all. I have a thick skin anyway so rarely take offense at anything said. I see what you say about being people with mental health issues. Thing is, when things happen so quickly, unless mental health issues are on your radar, I just wouldn't think about potential MH issues in the midst of it. I may well do later on but at the time when it's just like being run over by a dumper truck out of the blue, it's hard to take a step back and think about anything beyond WTF?

[Luckster]

Thanks pipsqueak25 glad to know it's not just me who is coldhearted then

[Cristabell2]

No not having a laugh just stating how I see it..

You're correct and I don't know what daily struggles you have! Most of us have stuff/struggles going on in our lives that no one knows about because we hide it. Sometimes these struggles can get too much and sometimes people can lose it.

I'm not staying you should of invited her into your home I just think you could of been more helpful.

[FixItUpChappie]

I call utter bullshit to some of these responses...ahhhh, poor love, you were the problem with your cold lack of empathy OP

I seriously doubt anyone here would feel particularly gracious if a stranger rocked up to their door and started ranting and wailing FFS. YANBU OP in the slightest.

[Pettywoman]

Why the fuck would you encourage batshit behaviour by pandering to it? I would never go round to someone's house like that. Ring another parent, send a text or email or if shifts were a problem I'd try and organise him to go with a friend. I wouldn't doorstep a cub leader's wife and give her grief.

[CockacidalManiac]

I'm a nurse and wouldn't react kindly to some overwrought woman banging on my door either. It's a job, not a fucking calling from god.

[RebelRogue]

Cristabell how? Op listened,offered to check with OH and have him get back to the woman. The woman herself had the husbands phone and email. You know,the person who is involved with her kid and the organisation of events.

[Luckster]

FFS I was helpful. I said I would ask DH when he got home. I had no clue what the arrangements were. She wouldn't accept that there was nothing more I could do. She had his number and could have rung him herself. Nice to know that you are clearly a more helpful person than me though.

[PortiaCastis]

I'd have got rid of her sharpish you're not her bleddy P.A

[donquixotedelamancha]

My dad is a cub leader. We get this a lot- drives my mum potty. (Obviously not to the deranged extent as the OP's 'guest').

Usually it's just pushy people on the phone, but years ago when I lived with them I've had a few weird, extended conversations with people just turning up at the door. They did seem to imagine that (despite being nothing to do with cubs) I am in a customer service situation, should know all the information, and should drop everything to meet their needs.

It seem so far outside normal behaviour, I just can't imagine the self absorption and entitlement leads to such assumptions.

[twattymctwatterson]

So OP are you telling me that you're a teacher and you actually SWEAR outside of work in your private life? Heaven fucking forbid! Honestly I'm all for trying to show people empathy but it's a bit difficult when they're ranting on your doorstep for no reason. Some of the PPs need to catch themselves on

[Sparklingbrook]

I just look out of the bedroom window and see who is ringing the doorbell, then decide whether to answer.

[Cristabell2]

Op said she is fuming and the women is unhinged. Sorry but that just makes me think that op was quite aggressive towards her.

I just think that because the woman was so hysterical and crying (which isn't normal behaviour) she needed to be treated a bit more sensitive.

Sorry don't mean to offend just saying how I read it.

[SuperFlyHigh]

Glad your DH sorted it out for you OP and explained that she was highly strung. At least you'll know what to do if you see her or she sees you in the village. Ignore her hopefully.

May I suggest using your spy hole and chain at your front door next time and maybe do as expat does and never answer the door during your dinner again.

Ps my mum was a teacher did I mention that?! SENCO etc but although she was overworked etc (luckily she was around during OFSTED etc but luckily rarely brought work home at night or stayed late) and my neighbour is also an ex-teacher as of this summer - had third baby so stayed home, so I'm well aware of the stress levels and tiredness teachers struggle with. Nice to think it gives you the monopoly of overstressed compared to us mere mortals.

[petitpois55]

No Cristabell What the deranged women needed to be told was to fuck off away from the OP's door. This is what I would have done.

[SuperFlyHigh]

Cristabell I agree with you, I also wonder why OP bothered to answer the door. Do all her doorstep callers get the same treatment?

[SuperFlyHigh]

petitpois why would she swear at her? All she needed to tell her is she was busy right now. Not swear at her.

[SuperFlyHigh]

I still think if someone is crying and hysterical even if they are highly strung this is probably out of character for them.

[Boundaries]

Superfly where has the OP, or anyone said that teaching gives you a monopoly on being overstressed?