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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

House buying - location or house?

77 replies

Maz2444466 · 22/11/2016 22:07

I've been going round in circles and driving DH nuts by putting off buying a house for two years now even though we are in a flat and really need the extra space, largely because I still can't figure out what I want so here are the options:

The first option is to get a house in the town we live in which we absolutely love, it is within walking distance of childrens' classes, great parks, shops and my parents house but the house will be nothing like the house in the alternative option.

The alternative option is to get a beautiful house in a quiet (isolated) village near the town we currently live in. It's a 10 minute drive from the town but problem is I don't drive so it would mean a 20 minute bus ride, the bus comes every 20 minutes or so, sometimes it stops halfway and you have to get another one so a 20 minute journey can turn into a 30 or 40 minute one.

In the village we could get a substantial detached house with a 100ft garden but in the town we are in we could get a semi with a garden half the size, probably on an overcrowded road since the whole town is overcrowded.

Schools seem more or less as good as each other in both options.

What would you do?

OP posts:

Bumbledumb · 23/11/2016 10:00

ginorwine

Have you considered sound-proofing?

Shadowboy · 23/11/2016 10:08

To me the thought of living in a town is horrendous- row upon row of houses, grey roads, lack of open space. That's a good bus service and 10 min is nothing! Any chance of learning to drive?

MrsWhiteWash · 23/11/2016 10:20

That bus service doesn't sound that bad - however bus services are out of your control - fares can go up and up - services can be cancelled or routes changed.

Less of an issue if you do plan to drive - but one car two work locations can be tricky and running two cars expensive. Plus you do actually have to get to point of driving.

I grew up in a rural village - I would always pick the town. It just more options open to you.

Way we've always done it is - possible locations acceptable commutes to work ( also think about how easy if jobs change)/school catchments - then listed what we absolutely need in the house and what nice to have - then looked at what we can afford - once we've done that the choice has never been that wide.

LaurieMarlow · 23/11/2016 10:35

I'd go with the town. The appeal
of the fancier house will wear out quite quickly. IME Being able to walk places is a godsend when you've got small kids.

irregularegular · 23/11/2016 10:40

Is there anything in the village? Are there at least some shops/school/clubs/medical centre/library etc within walking distance? Are you and the children likely to have friends within walking distance? If yes then I would probably go for the village (but learn to drive). If not, then I would be very wary.

CrazyCatLaydee123 · 23/11/2016 10:42

You can change the house. You can't change the location.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 23/11/2016 10:44

I'm torn. I would love to live in the country but although I can drive, I won't drive on narrow, winding roads so it would depend on the location. I'd probably go for the town to be honest as a large garden has no appeal for me whatsoever!

ShowMePotatoSalad · 23/11/2016 10:45

Location

Cyclingforcake · 23/11/2016 10:47

Location every time. I'm another one that made an expensive mistake buying the bigger house in a village. I hated having to get in the car for a pint of milk, having nowhere to push a crying baby (no pavements) and a huge house and garden that we couldn't manage. Moved back into town and am very happy.

MrsWhiteWash · 23/11/2016 10:50

If there is a school - do all the village children get in ?

If not your going to have to get to school as transport is only over certain distances - same with secondary where would they get in - would you have to pay for busses how often would they run. I couldn't d a lot of clubs in secondary as couldn't get back easily by myself.

Shops - are there any or is there going to be car journey for a pint of milk? Are the local toddler groups, browny/scout pack or would you have to ferry the kids about on busses or in cars?

is there a cash machine - or cash back in local shops? You often need change for buses - and even in primary school with on-line payments small change is often needed - though good planing or a change pot could mitigate that. We've just found cash machine useful.

StatisticallyChallenged · 23/11/2016 10:54

Town

The bus service doesn't sound that bad but there are a few similar villages around our way which have recently found themselves with no bus - bus company decided it wasn't being used enough so changed the routes. If there's only 1 bus it's something to consider.

ginorwine · 23/11/2016 11:10

Bumble
We asked builder to do sound proofing to bedroom walls - as I hate hearing neigbour on phone , having sex and hearing the phone plugged into wall every night .
It made a very minimal difference - it was like a big board. Another builder said it was incorect as sound travels thro joist / floor anyway so would have not got the effect we wanted by doing just the walks ? What waste money !
I have had bad exoerinces with builder s and I don't know how to get a soundproofed house ! The builder we used came on recommendation !

wasonthelist · 23/11/2016 11:49

Location - but I hate living in crowded places so the out of town location would be a win for me, with the added bonus of more space - win win.

Original poster

Maz2444466 · 23/11/2016 13:54

museumum Could probably cycle but it's an a 1hr and 40 mins walk from the village to the town through fields so not really walkable.

irregularregular There are a few shops, schools, a few clubs and yes a medical centre and library within walking distance. Gosh, makes it sound fine when I put it like that! One of the schools has been closed though as the projections are for there to be less young families in the next ten years whilst meanwhile where we are they are desperately adding bulge classes! The villlage has lots and lots of bungalows and a lot of elderly people, I think that's what I mean when I say it's a bit isolated, I think I mean from families and a buzzing family centred town...

OP posts:

Original poster

Maz2444466 · 23/11/2016 14:16

Sorry just reread that and realise it sounds a bit harsh saying there are a lot of elderly! I just mean that I find it hard enough to make mummy friends (a bit shy) and worry about finding it even harder if there aren't many families around...

OP posts:

Niloufes · 23/11/2016 14:39

learn to drive

irregularegular · 23/11/2016 15:59

OK - so it's not some tiny, isolated hamlet with no facilities. So for me it would be perfect (we live in a village with good facilities and a station - but I do drive). But everyone is different and it sounds as if you aren't sure.

Any chance of renting for a while to try it out? It is hard to know in advance what it is really like to live in a place, and very expensive to get wrong.

shovetheholly · 23/11/2016 16:07

With this decision, location every time. It's a rare and wonderful thing to be living somewhere you love. Why would you jeopardize that? You could have an aircraft hanger's worth of space somewhere you don't like, but it wouldn't make you happy.

I made the wrong decision in your shoes and moved to the rural location. What a mistake. I was miserable, reliant on public transport that was slow and eternally late, and the extra space didn't even begin to make up for the loss of all the things I loved about town life, e.g. being able to walk out my door and have a choice of lovely restaurants, or the cinema, or theatre or events or whatever.

I now live in a smaller house in the town and I am MUCH happier.

BadKnee · 23/11/2016 16:10

Location. I hate my house but the location has been a joy. My mum loves her house but is too stupid o see that the location means she is stuck dependent on everyone else for transport - especially now she is old and unwell.

Notonthestairs · 23/11/2016 16:14

i know you're not looking this far ahead (you should though) but villages suck if you are a teenager. You'll be a taxi service for your kids FOR YEARS and then have to pay for driving lessons (and then a car!).
You'll be doing this in the town too but atleast there is the option of a bus and shorter distances involved if you are driving and lit roads.

milliemolliemou · 23/11/2016 17:26

And just a thought - rural buses aren't there forever. If you have children, by the time they're wanting to get to school they'll be on the bus or you might get a taxi service as we do in rural parts, but I'm not sure that can be afforded much longer. If you learn to drive, you'll be a taxi service as they grow up. Go for the town. Sorry if cross posting.

Original poster

Maz2444466 · 23/11/2016 17:51

Thanks for all the posts, it is helping make me think of things i hadn't before like the bus service being cut and there is only one bus that goes there...also didn't think about having to be a taxi service, didn't think that far tbh...so it's helpful to get some perspective on it

OP posts:

chickenowner · 23/11/2016 18:39

I love living in a village, but then we both drive, and have a car each. We are only 10-15 minutes drive to our nearest city. Our village is large enough to have a supermarket, doctors surgery, hairdressers etc.

Having said that, I think location is more important than the house. You can make any house nice - as long as it's not too small for you and your family.

HattiesBackpack · 23/11/2016 18:42

Another vote for location !

user1470997562 · 23/11/2016 20:02

Really think about what kind of person you are as well.

Can you live in a small community?

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