To ask friend to limit the photos on a night out?

[Ziggitypop]

So, I'm going out with the girls next week, I love them, they're brilliant
But
One of the gang has a real obsession with photos. She's in her early 40's (we all are) but an average day she'd post about 3 or 4 selfie type photos on FB. Trout pose type things. A recent weekend away resulted in 56 photos, almost all selfie type poses rather than photos reflecting the weekend away.
Fine if that's what she wants to do, it's her life.

The problem is, since ds was born I have piled on a lot of weight, I'm really self conscious, never feel attractive and hate having my picture taken.
Every outing with her becomes an endless round of "now all pout, let's all blow kisses, now all pull face etc..." Photos.
Which will be on FB before our food's arrived!
I'm not a complete grinch, no objection to the odd group pic or action shot. I just want to relax.
Aibu to text before hand and just ask her to keep pics to a minimum?
I'm starting to dread going because of this as I hate the way I look!!

This is a real bug bear of mine too. YANBU!

Very attractive friend loves taking loads of selfies of herself pouting and putting on FB. Why oh why (late 40s, irrelevant really I guess) and whenever we are out insists on us all being in them. Despite saying no FB guaranteed they go on there. Really don't get it

Tinseltwins, I kind of get where pp was coming from. I used to avoid ALL photos including family shots and days out with my dc, but I've begun to realise that this is my issue and try to be in a few more. It's a big jump though from posing for a few family shots and having a camera constantly pointed in your face though.
Theonlyone, you begin to feel a little bit like a human prop don't you

just say no don't get me in im not looking my best or something! like in a friendly joke way, and then offer to take the photos of ur group of friends instead of being in them

God I miss 1997 when selfies didn't exist. We just had fun instead

Pull a strange face in every single photo. I hate selfies and being in photos, generally. This will ensure they leave you out and get the hint. Job done. Enjoy your night out.

Yes - and I remember 1957!!! - even more fun then.

In those days you had to PAY for photographs - and wait a week and hope Boots (or who ever) didn't cock-up the processing.

What a pity computers (or phones, or tablets) don't automatically make a nominal charge for every 'selfie' taken, and send the proceeds to a Charity, or refugees.

(I must try and find out what the REAL cost to the environment is, of all these servers and 'cloud computers'.)

AND it seems incredibly narcissistic - so WHY do it??

Point out to her that people who are constantly documenting what a great night they are having via endless photos generally aren't actually having a great night......

I would get new friends, I don't know anyone who behaves like this .............. I have never used FB so don't see the attraction but I have a fun social life and no one takes photos ........ we are too busy enjoying ourselves and not being teenagers.

Ferguson : I have no doubt that 1957 was far more fun than 1997- just the music, never mind everything else

I would love a night out in1957!

I have this too OP but my friends dont put too unflattering photos of me (or any if us really) on Facebook. But one friend gets really annoyed about it and acts like I'm some sort of killjoy. So glad it wasn't a thing when I was off my face all the time in the 80s.

I'm with Alcon

Who even has time to post stupid pictures on a great night out. When I see pics like that, I just think, attention seeking wanker

Had a similar situation work a friend recently. 4 girls on a night out, one is a serial photo taker. Two in the group asked if we could please not post loads of photos, or tag anyone because of work related issues. Worked out fine. We all agreed, still took loads of silly photos, but only one really nice one of the four of us got posted, with no tagging. It's well within your right to ask that your photo not get posted...and if she doesn't listen, she's not a very good friend.

Ugh, *with...hate autocorrect!

It used to be big stars who got hounded by the cameras. Marilyn Monroe level stars. Then it became celebs including z-listers from reality tv shows. Now we all get a taste of it.

I feel for young people, they need to censor their public life so much, nothing appears deletable. I'm certainly glad the minutiae of my student days aren't out there on the internet for me to try and explain away 20 years on.

How about saying "No thanks, I hate having my photo taken, and would rather enjoy the moment than having to pose for dozens of pictures. Besides, we have been warned at school that putting up loads of photos of our private lives on social media can look very unprofessional".

3 choices. In every single photo have a finger up your left nostril or cover your face completely with your bag or say no, you don't want to be in any photos. Sorted.

Just be polite but straight with her at the start of the evening and say that you don't want your evening broadcast over Facebook and that you just want a nice evening without all the pouting selfies etc and don't want everyone to know/see you. She does sound rather immature and a show off.

heyoverhere
I had a friend who was obsessed with putting pics on FB. She died earlier this year, and the awful, awful pics will now never be taken off FB.
Some nice ones of us all together at weddings, which is a happy memory but I really do wish she had been more thoughtful regarding her friends.

Too late now.

OP...move away from the camera or hide behind the wine bottles. Or simply state no, you'd rather not be in the pic.

Good luck.

i hate this aswell

just say no thanks and step away i only do it for special occasions and no pouting either

YANBU.

I have no issue with my appearance or how I look in photos but one of my friends spends any event taking so many it really pisses me off! Why we can't just sit down and enjoy the evening like in the good old days I just don't know.

old gimmer

I think that you might have to be firm or bend the truth a bit. So either:

'No thanks! I don't want to be in any photos. Shall I take it?'

or

'Sorry, new work policy. I can't have photos of me on social media any more'

This kind of thing annoys me too.

If you do decide to talk to her. Do it before the night not whilst your out ime I've found drunk selfie takers very pushy. "Oh go on, stop being boring, you look great, stuff work" and that kinda thing. Stuff they would probably never say sober