To ask friend to limit the photos on a night out?

[Ziggitypop]

So, I'm going out with the girls next week, I love them, they're brilliant
But
One of the gang has a real obsession with photos. She's in her early 40's (we all are) but an average day she'd post about 3 or 4 selfie type photos on FB. Trout pose type things. A recent weekend away resulted in 56 photos, almost all selfie type poses rather than photos reflecting the weekend away.
Fine if that's what she wants to do, it's her life.

The problem is, since ds was born I have piled on a lot of weight, I'm really self conscious, never feel attractive and hate having my picture taken.
Every outing with her becomes an endless round of "now all pout, let's all blow kisses, now all pull face etc..." Photos.
Which will be on FB before our food's arrived!
I'm not a complete grinch, no objection to the odd group pic or action shot. I just want to relax.
Aibu to text before hand and just ask her to keep pics to a minimum?
I'm starting to dread going because of this as I hate the way I look!!

What is it with some adults that feel that everything has to be documented by photos. I could understand it if she was 16.

I hate it, here's what I do:

Nobody can tag me on facebook without my approving the tag
If it's a "huddle in for selfie" thing I just say "no thanks, I don't really enjoy doing selfies, do you want me to take it for you?"

I wouldn't call her out on her own selfie taking though by asking her to keep pics to a minimum

God I hate it when you go out and some people/everyone starts getting their phones out and taking pictures and checking in here, there and everywhere. So boring, can't people just enjoy the moment instead of having to document it all?

I deliberately stay out of the photos and won't let anyone tag me because I was sick of looking at FB the day after a night out to see dozens of unflattering photos of me in pubs all over the town centre.

And this isn't from 'young people' the worst offenders are aged 50-early 60s .

Just refuse to be in any and blame the school, as a pp suggested. State this firmly at the beginning of the evening, as the menus are being handed out.

The others must get sick of this, too. The odd pic is nice but someone click-clicking away all the time is irritating.

Just use the 'work at a school' excuse, it's brilliant, she can't gainsay that.

My SIL is terrible for this, her life is on FB, her choice, doesn't bother me, but she was asked not to put photos of my other sil's children on FB up. We had a massive family day out, what's the first thing I see on FB afterwards? Dozens of bloody photos, I'm tagged, so I untagged then loads of my anti FB SIL! She was not a happy girl!

Wear this as a hair band. Pull down when the camera comes out.

Cherry soup that's awful if she was specifically asked not to post pics of the kids!
Paxillin: nailed it! I'm so getting one of those!

Have changed my timeline settings now so at least all my fatty pics will be limited to people my friend knows!

My mother has a similar love of photos, though hers is more a "family is important" angle than "I want it all on FB".

How about telling her beforehand, you're happy to be in a couple of group shots as you set off/get to the destination, but that that's the extent of your willingness to be in photos? That way you're not the grinch that ruined the holiday snaps (she gets a couple of nice snaps of the group for posterity) but you've set a boundary about being in endless unwanted and potentially unflattering selfies?

You can also cite the school thing and tell her you'd like approval before she uploads any images of you to FB?

Cherrysoup
If she was specifically asked not to put the photos of the children online, I'd be livid!

I hate having my photo taken. If I'm out and the people I'm with try to, I make sure I'm hidden behind someone else, or if they try to take a photo of me on my own, I just refuse nicely and say I don't want to see my mug all over Facebook.

jayis My mum was the same until I utterly lost my shit once a few years ago when she and SIL ganged up to keep trying to take covert photos of me. I came out of the bathroom and DM was actually hiding around the corner to take a photo of me. They'd all decided it was just a bit of fun, despite what I said. I lost my rag and told them if they couldn't respect my wishes and not keep trying to take pictures of me to post on effing Facebook, I wouldn't come round again. Fortunately, they stopped after that.

Have changed my timeline settings now so at least all my fatty pics will be limited to people my friend knows!

"friends of friends" will still show to your friends too

you can set it so that if someone tags you the tag doesn't happen until you approve each tag, you get an alert, you can either accept or reject the tag, meanwhile you're not tagged even if they tried to tag you

Yes tinsel twins that's what it's set to. It won't post automatically I have to approve the pictures.
What I meant by my last post is that photo friend may take and post pics but only her friends will see them..... Unless they're flattering in which case the world will see them

I'd tell her that you do not want to be in any photos because of school so just don't take any with you in. Don't ask, tell.

No it is annoying, especially when it is unwanted. I also have a friend who takes about 40 photos of every single place she goes and if you are there tags you into them on facebook. I just decline allowing them on my timeline, or allow a group one if I know anyone might want to see it. It is like if there are no photos it didn't happen.

If you can't approach her or feel uncomfortable just play musical chairs or as someone suggested cover your face, use some props like on Whose Line is it Anyway?

Deactivate Facebook???? How do people survive?

I deleted it and did not immediately shrivel up and die

and I don't have to deal with annoying pictures of trout pouts or memes! It's marvellous

Review all your photos.

Or, just accept the way you are. Are you planning on losing weight? If not, you are who you are. Look at it objectively, are you as bad as you feel? Most probably not.

If you are planning on losing weight, it's a motivation, and when those memories come back in a year you will see the difference.

You won't look as bad as you think - although I know how you feel. Can you make an excuse when the camera come out...oh damn, you need the loo again!

Totally agree op.

penguine asked teen dd what the fuck a meme was. Feel cool now I know

Totally agree op.

penguine asked teen dd what the fuck a meme was. Feel cool now I know

Ok not cool as posted twice

YANBU at all.

But as an aside, it's amazing how many adults (understandably) hate people putting pics of them on Facebook, yet think nothing at all of doing exactly the same thing to their own kids.

I don't mean you, as I have no idea whether you do this to your kids, but so many parents do and yet they hate it being done to them.

I hate having my photo taken. Hate it. I have my entire life. About ten years ago, someone in my circle died young very suddenly, and at a wedding a month or two later, many of her friends were in attendance. I tried to dodge a photo from one friend, and she gave me a sad smile and said, "I won't share it. I just want to get photos of my friends now, because I'll never be able to get one of Sue again."

Since then, I'll let them be taken of me if they promise not to share them. Because those are the ones that really mean something.

If your friend is really into the photos for personal/sentimental reasons, she'll honor your request to not have any photos of you shared. If she balks, then the photos don't mean much to her--the attention she gets for them does, and you'll be fine not to feed into that.

I have a rule with my friends - photos of me are tits and above because I'm desperately trying to lose weight around my midriff
It's a shame when the phones are out non stop taking pics, my friend is a snap chat addict and honestly it gets so tiring "say hello to snap chat....!" and theres me all unawares shovelling a forkful in my mouth. ffs

Pictures whilst eating or drinking are so desperately unflattering. I think I'd prefer being photographed on the bog. I said it once to my food snap-chatting friend. She never pictured me again with a potato in my mouth.

My friends and I have an 'agreement' not to put any photo on social media unless we have all vetted it. Plus, it is just one. We're not teens!

Or, just accept the way you are. Are you planning on losing weight? If not, you are who you are. Look at it objectively, are you as bad as you feel? Most probably not.

That's really not the point