Longstanding mumsnetter but set up new account as don't want this attached to my normal one. But naice ham, PippaPavlova, Yoni etc, etc.
I am aged 38, my husband is 46. We have a four year old son and 3 month old twins.
Last Saturday I looked in an email account which is normally used by my husband only to buy gaming treats for our four year old. There was a receipt in there for a packet of Viagra from an online pharmacy 4 weeks ago. I confronted him and he said he had bought them to use with me because he had difficulty getting an erection after having a drink but had not mentioned it to me. I find that difficult to believe, as he drinks every night and has never had difficulty achieving an erection with me, but he insisted. I said in that case we should go and find the packet together to see that none were used. A look of panic crossed his face and he then began claiming that on the one occasion we had sex during those four weeks he had used Viagra so one was missing. There was no evidence of Viagra during that encounter but he says that is because it didn't work. I would also be very hurt if he had used Viagra to have sex with me without telling me but that's another story.
The problem is, one evening over the past few weeks as he was undressing for bed on a week night he had an erection for no reason. This has never happened in the 17 years of our relationship. When I mentioned it at the time he got very defensive and told me to leave him alone so I let it go. Now I have discovered about the viagra I believe that he had sex that evening on the way home from work which he used viagra for. He doesn't have time for an affair so I assume with a prostitute. I find it pretty unbelievable that he would not show any sign of Viagra use when supposedly using it with me but show signs at another time apparently coincidentally.
When I put this to him he said because I suffer from anxiety and depression I am delusional and imagined the whole erection incident. But he is also saying that the erection incident was a coincident which seems contradictory. He's also now changed his story about why he bought it. He's no longer saying he bought it because he couldn't get an erection, but saying he got it because he wanted to last longer and for recreational reasons.
He has form for telling quite major lies (normally over money) and continuing to deny the truth even when it's entirely obvious, only finally confessing when there is 100% incontrovertible proof.
He says there is absolutely no reason to assume he is having sex elsewhere and nobody without my mental health problems would suspect him on this evidence. He says I'm being silly.
I say that I think most people would strongly suspect the same and would think I was being a mug to accept his excuses. But even though I'm saying that to him I'm really doubting myself now.
I've considered AIBU? Could I imagining it? Am I reading too much into this? Am I am mug for having doubts?