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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have declined to move my car.

141 replies

risinghighinapril · 21/11/2016 19:37

I live in a cul de sac. We don't have drive ways just residential parking at where the street ends. I came home from work and got my DD's dinner ready (she's 2.4) and sat her at her table to eat. Door gets rattled and my neighbour says "you're going to need to move your car please" I asked her if I was blocking someone in and she said no...she just wanted the parking space i used because it was closer to her house and she was going to have to park 70 yards up the street. She has a 4 year old and a 10 week old who was in a car seat. I asked her where she thought I was going to park and she said the place up the street Hmm I said to her my husband wasn't home and I didn't want to leave my daughter unattended in the house (the way the street winds the house wouldn't be visible from where she expected me to park the car) she got really huffy and said I was being unreasonable that she would have to carry a car seat down the street with her baby. I apologised and said I wasn't willing to leave my daughter alone in the house. It's a rubbish street for parking - built when people didn't have cars so it cant cope with the volume that's now using the street and parked on it.

I feel bad but also a bit annoyed that she rattled my door to demand I move my car.

WIBU?

OP posts:
FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 22/11/2016 12:57

Some people have ten week olds and a toddler and no car - how far do they have to walk with all the associated shit?!

YANBU OP.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 22/11/2016 13:13

Tough cookies. She doesn't own the space.

OP. People get ridiculously possessive over car park spaces that aren't even a thing and they're own driveways.

I have a cul de sac behind me and as a result we have the workers park their work vans outside mine and the neighbours house because its the only available spaces.

It still didn't stop the neighbour from moaning to the paramedics the other week to move their car from outside his house (his colleague was too busy hooking me up to the oxygen because I couldn't breathe). Apparently, me and the neighbour are meant to demand that the workers dont park outside our houses even though they're legally parked so an emergency vehicle who has no choice but to park outside his house doesn't irk him... Hmm

Just ignore and don't answer to anyone you're not expecting from now on.

awesomeness · 22/11/2016 14:13

yeah she was entitled. but taking her round biscuits Confused i live with the same situation, non designated resident parking, it is a nightmare but she should of just dealt with it, and when my dds were newborn and just 4, i was never stressed out enough to even consider asking a person to move out of a space and park further away, so i could be closer, i took baby out and left car seat in car (i didn't like her being in it for too long) and i had severe PND and struggled, i'd maybe ask if someone had parked over two bays (but they should move its knobbish behaviour)

OP YANBU you shouldn't move because someone else demands it and feels their more privileged, i wouldn't even bother engaging her. why did she choose you to knock on? why not another neighbour? entitled behaviour and she needs to grow up

Lucycharlotte1990 · 22/11/2016 14:14

She has a ten week old baby might not be sleeping she may have a bit of pnd who knows I know I was a complete Minnie when my kids were that age, mabey she didn't mean to be rude but is struggling n just needs a little help, I wouldn't have moved n left my kid either but I'd give it a couple of days n when I spot her ask her if she fancies a brew n a chat or something

FontSnob · 22/11/2016 14:15

You know what, it was an unreasonable request but none of you have a single clue what the woman is going through, maybe she has post natal depression and isn't coping well and the idea of lugging her kids that far was too much to think about at that time. You've not got a clue and yet everyone rattles off about entitlement and what a bloody cheek. Not a shred of kindness.

ShapeBandit77 · 22/11/2016 14:24

That's entitlement right there. Ghastly.

Phalenopsisgirl · 22/11/2016 14:34

I can completely see why she caught you on the back foot. I think I would have had her leave the kids with me, park the car and offered a glass of wine or 3 when she got back, sounds like she needed it. People do get in a bit of a 'more important person' mindset when they have a baby sometimes

ShapeBandit77 · 22/11/2016 14:42

I have seen nothing like this in Africa. Mum with baby on back and vat of water on head, walking miles, literally. Still smiling. First world problems.

golfbuggy · 22/11/2016 14:42

OP - I've presumed you have double checked that this isn't actually neighbour's designated spot?

peggyundercrackers · 22/11/2016 15:00

OP maybe you should have offered to park her car for her to save her walking... she could have looked after your DD whilst you done that for her then you could have given her a cup of tea and a biscuit for your trouble.

Hmm
icantthinkofamnusername · 22/11/2016 15:05

She should live where my parents live. Their neighbours would give her a run for her money.
I parked outside their house one day as it happened to be a free space conveniently near my parents. Not blocking the road or anything and they had the cheek to ask me to move my car as they had guests coming and they want to park outside the house.
They told me they were being serious when I asked them if they were joking. So I said yes I'll move it when I next go out. I didn't go out in my car for the whole weekend. Smile

middlings · 22/11/2016 15:09

As someone who doesn't have off street parking and had a 16 month age gap AND DD1 wasn't walking when DD2 was born, YANBU. She just needs to deal with it. It's not your problem.

I remember once parking the car 100 yards up the road, SPRINTING to the house to get the double buggy, sprinting back to the car, putting the children in it, gathering all the related paraphernalia, going into the house and then, hours later when DH was home going back out to move the car so that it was going to be easier to get to the following day.

You do what you need to do.

She might just have been having a bad day. Doesn't excuse it though.

amazingamy09 · 22/11/2016 15:23

So entitled.

Liiinoo · 22/11/2016 15:25

You did the right thing and were polite about it. Well done. (I wish I could be that assertive .)

bimbobaggins · 22/11/2016 15:33

Yanbu not to move. First come first served . Although people parking in the turning zone in a cul de sac really piss me off.

CockacidalManiac · 22/11/2016 15:35

Usual MN medicalisation of bad behaviour going on in this thread. Anyone who's behaving in an unreasonable way on a thread always has to have early dementia, or all kinds of issues 'that we don't know about'.
Sometimes people just are ridiculous and entitled.

CockacidalManiac · 22/11/2016 15:39

And I'm not talking about people with special needs there. I'm on about mad neighbours, interfering MILs, lazy/insensitive spouses, bridezillas, and all the usual MN tropes.

CockacidalManiac · 22/11/2016 15:41

And you were definitely not BU.
'Taking round biscuits', indeed.

WeatherwaxOrOgg · 22/11/2016 15:42

Here's the point - if you hadn't parked where you did, there's a great chance that someone else would have been there by the time she arrived. So you weren't taking "her" space unfairly, is she going to harass every resident every time they park in a space she considers to be one she wants.

I can't believe the poster who said that they can't believe how harsh people have been! Of course they've been harsh on her - her request was outrageous. Most of us on here have children and most of us have had to lug heavy baby seats here or there.

The best option for her here and by far the easiest would have been to carry the baby on her hip while holding the other child's hand. This would have been no trouble.

She could then put the baby safely in a playpen/cot while she went back for the rest of her things. 70 yards would take no time at all, especially if she arranged her bags ready for collection before removing the baby from the carseat.

As another poster said, standing arguing would have taken longer.

Plus if you move now, you'll forever be doing that for her.

YANBU in the slightest.

Luluandizzy · 22/11/2016 16:24

No YANBU at all, she was BVU you have a child too and I'm afraid parking spots are first come first served. Life's a pain at times but that's just how it is. Sounds like this selfish women needs to wake up and realise the world doesn't revolve around her x

MollyHopps · 22/11/2016 16:39

I adore parking threads, because it always entertains me how unreasonable and petty the perpetrators can be!

You can park where you like OP, and you can remove any cones left by pushy residents too Smile

wifeyhun · 22/11/2016 16:48

YANBU she does not own the street. When I had a ten week old did not even have a car and got the bus everywhere.

Rude and entitled woman.

EweAreHere · 22/11/2016 17:05

I'm just wondering if the OP is now getting major stink eye from the neighbor for leaving her car in a perfectly legal, public parking spot.

FancyThatFenceEdge · 22/11/2016 17:24

@FontSnob

"... it was an unreasonable request but none of you have a single clue what the woman is going through, maybe she has post natal depression and isn't coping well and the idea of lugging her kids that far..."

Who cares?

Thats the womans own lifestyle choice. Why should the OP be remotely accountable for that?

As noted, someone else could have parked there if the OP hadnt/didnt.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 22/11/2016 17:40

Cockacidal I've noticed that too. Maybe she was going through something. Or maybe she was just behaving in an entitled manner. Fact remains the same. She can't reserve a space that isn't hers to reserve in the first place.