To be upset DP booked these flights without consulting me?

[milkandmorewine]

DP and I are going away to Europe next month. We decided last night to cut the trip short as money is a bit of an issue at the moment. DP said he would sort earlier flight home (hes obsessed with planes and flying) and I went to bed as had to be up early for work.

He's just informed me that the flight he's booked will be a stop over flight. Now this wouldn't be an issue if I wasn't terrified of flying. It takes me all my courage to get on a plane once and the thought of having to do it twice in one journey has me in an utter state of panic.

I'd happily have paid the extra £50 it would have cost for a direct flight. Anything to avoid taking off and landing anymore than strictly necessary.

He's saying that AIBU and that "nobody is really scared of flying" [hmmm]

Instead of just "sucking up" your fears, why not do something about getting rid of them?

That's pretty insensitive, so you are definitely not BU!

However, I would love some tips on how to cope with a fear of flying from all you who have gotten over it/improved please?!

I haven't flown in 9 years after a flight back from NY where I was terrified (turbulent flight the day after the liquid bomb scare, our original flight was cancelled), having always been a bit of a nervous flier, and we have just booked a holiday to France in April where we will be flying. I'm determined to get over it/cope with it as I have so many places I want to travel and it's really holding us back now!

Sorry to hijack the thread a little OP, I couldn't resist an opportunity for some tips...

He's just cancelled the flights!

For me, I think it was just the constant exposure to it, my husband literally just ignored all my dramatics and we always had two or three trips lined up in advance. It helped that there were a couple of places I just loved (we moved permanently to one of them 13 years ago) so we weren't just going to random package holidays out of a brochure but to places we knew really well and enjoyed

Ifeelyourpain2 - I watched a wee video on Thomas Cook's facebook this morning where a pilot explained very simply all about turbulence - was quite reassuring..I used to be quite fearful of flying but have an unhealthy fascination with Air Crash Investigation programme which has in fact made me realise that something happening is so rare and even if planes do suffer from some kinds of failure they are still able to fly quite safely just not as efficiently

Just got your update - has he cancelled them in a flouncy sort of way or will he or you book the direct ones instead?

Hopefully the latter rookie.

If the savings only £50 I can see a 2.5 layover costing a good chunk of that in terms of food snacks and magazines! Hardly worth the saving!

I flew yesterday. 2 planes. The BA has a fear of flying course which they showed a few things from on the in flight entertainment ( 12 hr flight so very bored) one thing one of the pilots said was "planes can't just fall out of the sky because they have wings to stop them" apparently we should think of the air being like the sea and planes float in the air like ships float on the sea. It must be hard to be scared though. Hope you can solve it.

I'm glad he's seen sense (?)! The thought of having to do something you're terrified of, twice, can really ruin the end of a holiday. I would have suggested the Eurostar from Brx to London, but the transfer from the airport is a royal PITA.

I'm one of those people who flies frequently (well, a couple of times a year for holidays), despite being terrified. DH (and DD) can sleep through take-off, so I'm usually on my own, fretting and sweating. I used to cope with diazepam and a glass of wine (two diazepam if it was a morning flight - fear of being judged for morning drinking ). Since TTC, pregnancy and BF have all rendered diazepam+/-wine contraband, I've been stuck with self-help measures. I read book after book, but none of them have helped much. What has helped a tiny bit was going to Boston and watching hundreds and hundreds of planes take off and land perfectly while we were there. Boston is also a lovely city to visit. Not just to watch planes in.

If you have the money I strongly recommend the Flying with Confidence course run by BA. Before it I was absolutely terrified especially during take- off but the course explains how everything works plus teaches coping techniques. Money well spent. I still don't love it and am always happy when we land but much much better.

Sounds odd but I find that the best thing for my fear of taking off is sitting by the window and watching it happen. I used to sit clenched with fear at every change in acceleration, noise or weird momentary weightless feeling that you sometimes experience on the way up. I find it comforting to see that the plane is still steadily climbing despite my fears and it distracts me from over analysing every sensation. Good luck!