Sorry Christmas related post, demands without invitation.

[sugarplumfairy28]

We live in Germany, my parents live in a flat under ours (it's a bit more complicated than that, but it sums it up) This will be our 3rd Christmas since living here.

First year we went back to the UK, and spent it with DH's family. Last year my BIL came over here and so I cooked Christmas dinner, my parents did have the courtesy to ask if they could be included.

This year, no-one is coming over and we're not going anywhere. My Mum made some flippant comment about what she wants me to cook for Christmas dinner. After digging around a little, she is expecting me, to cook, pay and host Christmas dinner for all of us.

AIBU in cooking a Christmas dinner that I want to eat, and DH for that matter, and my parents can get what they are given, even if I know full well they would prefer something else or perhaps not like it? They have invited themselves, but literally want everything doing for them and want to be catered for at my expense. If they would have asked even just out of courtesy I would probably feel a lot more accommodating.

[sugarplumfairy28]

Fluff wannabe We have been working our socks off to get us in a position to get out of here. We do have a plan, but finances just won't allow us to up sticks and walk out, even going to a B&B is unrealistic in terms of finances. We have spoken to our bank, school, kindergarten and been viewing property so the wheels are in motion. Things haven't been too bad, as my MIL has been over recent which puts them in their place for a while.

[Oldraver]

I thought you were plotting your escape from your folks ?

[fluffiphlox]

Sorry OP
I really wasn't expecting a personal and detailed explanation. All I know is that I cook a family meal every Christmas time for 12/14 people and if someone said 'can we have that lovely ham you did last year?' I'd be thrilled. Admittedly I don't live with any of them bar one. Take them out for lunch instead if you don't want to cook perhaps?

[sugarplumfairy28]

fluff if only it was something as nice as that. My BIL came last year, and said very similar things to what you said when requesting food for Christmas dinner, and I was very happy to oblige. This year there was a possibility of our nephew coming this year, he can't eat Gluten and I was more than happy to educate myself and make sure he was included in Christmas dinner, and not left out in any way.

The way they speak and demand things, is always negative and rude. Seriously if it would have been we'd like Turkey, but I can cook it and bring it up, no problem, or we really fancy Turkey this year is there any way that you can get that in the oven, no problem. But not, "when are you doing your Christmas food shopping cos we are sick of Chicken and want Turkey."

Oldraver the plot is certainly underway. Unfortunately it's going to take longer than we'd hoped. But better that we've been and spoken to people and now have a timeline for when things need to happen.

[Ahickiefromkinickie]

I really wasn't expecting a personal and detailed explanation.

What were you expecting?

Good luck, OP. Just read your other thread, they sound awful.

[Littleoakhorn]

Your options are :

1. Serve up some day-old cold currywurst and only pull out the real meal when they've gone downstairs in a huff.
   
2. Refuse to discuss the menu and cook what you like.
   
3. Tell them to bring whatever it is they're convinced is essential Christmas day food.
   

Definitely don't just cook what they want, it's your Christmas too!

[sugarplumfairy28]

Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to be deliberately difficult. I would love to have some asparagus, but the sight of it makes my Dad feel sick, and the smell of it actually makes him sick, so it's not like I'd do that on purpose.

I'm going to avoid the subject altogether and just see where shopping takes me. DH said he'll scare them into feeling bad if they start up again. My parents don't like arguing with him if they think he is having a 'polar bear' episode.

[fluffiphlox]

Ahickie my question was more rhetorical or an exclamation than a demand for justification. Maybe I should have added an exclamation mark as well as the question mark. I think if I was the OP I might make secret plans for a Christmas ski trip or similar.

[Whocansay]

Would it be possible to tell them you and your DH want to do your own thing? They sound utterly horrible. I hope you get out o the entire situation very soon.

If not, just tell them the are welcome to bring whatever they want to eat, but you will be cooking X.

[Katy07]

I've no idea what the back story is but if you're invited to someone else's for Christmas (or in their case have invited themselves!) then you eat what's been cooked. The only exception is if you're allergic to something or have some particular dietary habits (veggie etc.), and with the latter then you're relying on your hosts generosity in providing something suitable. You don't decide that you'll eat neither chicken or lamb and insist on turkey.
If they want turkey they can eat at their place. If they want you to cook they get not just one but two tasty choices.