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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To serve this portion size to my children (pic inc)

421 replies

Blondeandinept · 19/11/2016 12:19

My son is on the 75 centile for height , 20 for weight. My daughter is 50 for height, 25 for weight.
As a family we are very very slim (in 5'7 and weigh just under 8 stone). We're very fit, gym, sport etc

My mil saw this and was appalled. Said it was way way too much. My children would be peckish an hour later if they didn't have this kind of lunch (it's the weekend, hence all the breaded items!).

My son is 6, my daughter 3.5

To serve this portion size to my children (pic inc)
OP posts:
NicknameUsed · 21/11/2016 10:04

"then you should know that adult needs are different from children's needs and that children need to eat everything, especially carbs for energy."

This ^^

"And I do, actually, know quite a lot about low carbing, which is why I run the low carb Bootcamp on Mumsnet"

Ah, that explains your obsession with carbohydrates. DD is vegetarian. If she ate a low carb diet she would be very hungry indeed (and even skinnier than she is already)

Amalfimamma · 21/11/2016 10:08

Goofy - I've seen kids pursing their lips while parents spoon feed them,following them round with a loaded spoon,pleading with them to eat.

I've seen this in italy too. Mil tried it once with dd, dd took the spoon and threw it against the wall 😂

I've also heard (especially) grandmothers threaten the kids to get them to finish their adult sized portions. "If you don't open your outhouse I'll prickly it with a needle" 😯

Booboo66 · 21/11/2016 10:10

The Greeks are feeders, there's no doubt about that ... But I've yet to see an over weight child outside of medical issues. Agree the men are terribly unhealthy though and live on a diet of strong coffee, cigarettes and meat yet seem to live an exceptionally long time. The traditional women generally become over weight as they mostly stay at home and eat and feed others. However again this weight seems to cause them few issues as its too much good food as opposed to processed crap that has got them that way.

WorraLiberty · 21/11/2016 10:12

Italy has one of the highest percentages of overweight children in the world, so it would seem the Mediterranean diet, is slowly becoming a thing of the past.

WorraLiberty · 21/11/2016 10:16

The Greeks are feeders, there's no doubt about that ... But I've yet to see an over weight child outside of medical issues

And yet, Greece has a higher rate of childhood obesity than Italy does.

GoofyTheHero · 21/11/2016 10:28

Genuinely can't imagine either of mine allowing themselves to be forcefed, but then neither of them have ever once allowed a spoon near their mouths that they haven't put there themselves (3 and 16 months). BLW was a necessity here as they wouldn't eat any other way, despite my efforts!

Amalfimamma · 21/11/2016 10:33

WorraLiberty

I wrote that earlier. Of the 20 or so friends with kids the same age as dd, I am the only one who follows the plan given by the pediatrician. The rest give their kids highly processed foods, ready meals, jars and pouches. Most kids here eat healthily only at nursery school (or if they do a full day at primary school which most dont). It's sad really to see the traditions being eroded while damaging kids

2014newme · 21/11/2016 10:35

Why no carbohydrate

Booboo66 · 21/11/2016 10:36

I may be a bit out as my knowledge is actually referring to Greek Cypriots. I assumed it would be similar but could be wrong. Perhaps with it being a small island and geographically barely Europe makes a difference. I lived there for 15 years, my kids and extended family of in laws are all Cypriot and kids attended nursery and school there and I honestly never noticed a fat child. We moved back to the uk just under years ago and really notice the difference.

Jointhejoyrun75 · 21/11/2016 11:52

This is turning into a very interesting thread. Diet is certainly a divisive topic!

BratFarrarsPony · 21/11/2016 12:03

" But I've yet to see an over weight child outside of medical issues "

are you kidding BooBoo?
I have seen plenty of overweight children in Greece...Confused

LaChat · 21/11/2016 12:03

Looks good to me. Mine always has hungry days and non-hungry days. Growing, not growing. Crazy physical day, slightly less crazy day. If it's balanced, they'll get what they need. I'm a believer that when they're young enough not to be influenced (or tempted by not-so-healthy-options) they'll eat what they need, no more, no less. (Within reason obv!) Especially if not forced/encouraged to empty the plate.

RedheadinCamelFlarge · 21/11/2016 12:06

Amalfimamma, you say you have no processed foods, but you feed your toddler rusks in a bottle?!

CharlieDimmocksbosoms · 21/11/2016 12:07

There are breadcrumbs for starchy carbs!! Looks fine. Ignore her.

gemma19846 · 21/11/2016 12:14

My 8 year old does sports 5x a week and is very slim, he eats more than that for dinner/tea

MiscellaneousAssortment · 21/11/2016 12:36

We had a nanny from a similiar culture who I found out was force feeding DS Shock

Out of very nice motives but oh my goodness it was horrible.

She'd try and manipulate him into eating spoonfuls she pushed to his (firmly closed) lips, saying things like 'you naughty boy you don't love me, you don't want me to be happy' and when he still refused she shouted at him 'fine, you'll grow up weak and ill and it will be all your own fault being so nasty time when I want to make sure you grow big and strong'.

Which was when DS finally told me what was going on. He was crying and saying I didn't know she wanted to make me grow up strong and now she doesn't like me anymore and I won't grow up healthy and strong anymore ... grrr.

I was already worried as he was eating less and less. I just didn't know why. And as he's already a skinny minny it showed on him quickly.

In the end he lost 10% of his body weight. It was awful the damage she did. And she was such a nice person! She just couldn't seem to help herself, even when I'd discussed it with her and made it clear that it had to stop... she carried on doing it! She stopped pushing the spoon into his mouth, instead loaded it up and wrapped his fingers round it then upped the emotional blackmail instead. Which is still force feeding in my opinion.

It was like she was so conditioned that force feeding like that = love and care, that she couldn't stop herself. Especially as DS ate less and less, her instinct was to literally push more and more food into his mouth. She couldn't understand how she was the cause of the problem. She said that she felt I was asking her to hurt DS by stopping force feeding him... when clearly the opposite was true! I don't know whether it was her own upbringing or a wider societal conditioning, but it was all very odd and distressing.

So DS just stopped eating. It took him a long time for him to recover his trust in adults around food. A lot longer than it took to do the damage in the first place.

I have no doubt that if it had continued longer DS would have developed an eating disorder. It was scary to see how quickly his relationship with food went very, very wrong.

He's now back on track and has regained the lost weight, but most importantly, he's enjoying eating again. It's the hardest thing to regain the joy of food, and being relaxed about it. Just getting it back in perspective again... we now have 3 simple 'food rules' which are easy to follow BUT there are no exceptions under any circumstances, ever, especially for the grown ups feeding him. It sounds draconian but these rules take the pressure of DS and allow him to explore food and his own body in a relaxed and enjoyable way. I created these rules after talking to various people about children's pysychology and nutrition, and then a lot of thinking about our family. DS helped me write them out and he got to add bits & generally felt included and excited about them. And they really work for him, though grown ups can find it hard to stop the bargaining/ benign bribery and pressure. But DS thrives on no pressure, clear guidelines and just stopping this over- amplification and scrutiny of his eating.

BingBongBingBong · 21/11/2016 13:16

This thread is on the daily mail website now by the way, complete with the OPs picture

Blondeandinept · 21/11/2016 13:16

Don't leave us hanging Misc! What are these 3 simple rules you speak of?

OP posts:
Borneoisbeautiful · 21/11/2016 13:20

Omg that feckin rag Angry

Blondeandinept · 21/11/2016 13:26

Oh I get to read the wisdom of daily mail readers now, wonderful!

OP posts:
weveallkissedafrogor2 · 21/11/2016 13:27

doesn't look enough to me....and dry!

Jinglebellsandv0dka · 21/11/2016 13:40

😂😂😂😂😂 it is as well! Hope your mil doesn't see it!!

kateandme · 21/11/2016 13:45

dont listen.you know your own kids and how they need.as longas your trying to be healthy but balanced,.to be honest I was thinking you could have more! at least padding it out if they are still peckish maybe.THAT ISNT a push just an observation on YOUR NOT overfeeding them side.so please dont mistake it as me now being anther telling you your doing it wrong.you no your kids and their appetities.all are different and being so young I really dont take kindly to this sticking within such contrained weight guidlenines anyway.they vary so much as kids.

kateandme · 21/11/2016 13:49

why is everything so measured,counted out,restricted! what happened to cooking a meal and serving it then eating with joy,liking,love.then more if wanted less if not.psuhing to a point but meals just being a meal.cooked eaten.done.yum.i despair.didnt need trees or faces.didnt need calorie counting plates.portioned bowls. meals were meals.heaven forbid family time.

GoofyTheHero · 21/11/2016 13:58

Good for you kateandme that that works for you. It obviously doesn't for some people.

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