To think my friend shouldn't be making a profit from me.

[musingsofawannabemumpreneur]

First post here, please be gentle!

Back story: I sell second hand toys online. I have a friend whose LG loved the particular brand of toys which I sell, and so if she wanted any particular sets then I would sell them to my friend at cost, without making any profit on those items. Supply has always been an issue for me, i.e. I cannot find enough to buy to satisfy demand, so selling stuff on at no profit was a bit of a pain but I didn't mind as she's my friend and has done me lots of favours.

My friend's LG has now grown out of these toys, and I had always assumed hoped that my friend would sell these back to me at the same price when she was done with them, so I could sell them on and make a profit on them.

I saw last night that she is selling a set online, which I only sold her around 6 weeks ago. She's selling it for three times what I sold it to her for. I'm really cross about this, and feel she is profiting from me. I'm tempted to message her to request that I have "first dibs" on any more that she gets rid of. AIBU or should I just accept that I made a mistake by not profiting from my sales to a friend?

Simple. STOP selling to her at cost. She asks, you tell her why.

Maybe your friend wants to use the money to buy her daughter a more age appropriate toy. Some peoples idea of what is OK differs . I would ask if you could have first dibs on the rest of the stuff.
Good luck

I would say something, especially bearing in mind the short timescale. It's so cheeky. I think in future you need to set out your stall and not hope/assume even with good friends

I think you're just going to have to chalk this one up and move on, I'm afraid.

Don't sell to her again.

I'm sorry but once she's bought it off you, it's HER property to do as she damn well likes with!
You have no claim to "first refusal" if she chooses to sell it on, and even if you did decide to buy back, she has no obligation to sell it to you at the same price she bought it from you!
That's like saying to someone who bought your old house for £100k that they have to sell it back to you for 100k because it "used" to be yours, when it's value has gone up to £300k.

I'm tempted to message her to request that I have "first dibs" on any more that she gets rid of.

I wouldn't say that. She might take you at your word! Some people really are that oblivious. Contact her and ask for the set back.

That's like saying to someone who bought your old house for £100k that they have to sell it back to you for 100k because it "used" to be yours, when it's value has gone up to £300k.

If I sold a £300k house to a friend for £100k and then they immediately put it back on the market for £300k - they'd be cunts.

The OP sells this stuff to make money, she did her friend a favour, and her friend has apparently been making money from her good nature. She has every right to be pissed off. Damn well pissed off!

Miss Victoria is right - nice you sell something to someone, it's theirs to do what they like with. You seem very naive - only sell something at cost if you will benefit in some way (eg advertising, word of mouth) or you expect no comeback at all. Don't squander in-demand products. It's basic business.

That said, she is a pretty shit friend.

Don't sell anything else to her. Of course she can officially do what she likes if they're now her property, but that's not really the point, as you were doing her a favour, not being her business supplier. Perhaps enquire about the item for sale via the relevant website, and remind her she ought to register as self-employed if she is buying and selling for profit rather than personal use!

I would think she had got the latest toys off you under false pretended. Christmas is not far away and many people will be trying to get their children's fave toys, so I would be suspicious this was preplanned and she didn't want the last lot if toys for her lg. Even if not it wasn't a nice thing to do when you believed you were helping her afford nice toys that can be hard to get hold of xxx

Some friend

I would say something to her .... so cheeky.

I would tell her, politely, that you will not be selling anything else to her as a friend, at cost, as you don't like that she then sold them on for a profit. It isn't illegal, but it isn't nice.

If she de-friends you, so be it. If she doesn't feel guilty, then she is no friend.

She is being cheeky but you can't do much. Just don't sell her any more at cost.
YWBU to expect or ask for first dibs. She is as entitled to buy or sell anything she owes for any price to anyone. You need to exercise your own right to this by charging full price take it or leave it to your friend.

Was that a Freudian slip banging ?

Maybe it was an amalgamation

Piss+taker = pister

I can relate to this... I gave a friend of a friend a box of vinyl records to keep. He then told my friend that he had made several hundred pounds selling the ones he didn't want on ebay.

I didn't say, give me the ones you don't want back, I said they were for him. But I didn't expect him to profit from what I'd done.

So it's kind of my fault for being a mug (and I really wish I hadn't given them away as we now have a record player again) but up to him as he understood it was a gift for him to do what he wanted to do with.

Needless to say I haven't spoken to him since and everyone thinks he is an arse.

Reselling something only 6 weeks "old" is a bit weird, maybe she bought in good faith and her kid has changed her mind since, that happens.

She paid for the toys, so it's not as you gave them to her. It's bit late here, but it's worth mentioning you would like to be given first refusal on toys you sell (to friends). Does she even know you sell at cost?

I think you should definitely have a conversation with her about it.

Mention that - because you were selling to her at cost price, not only with nonprofit but therefore having given your time for free and given up a likely profit from selling to a stranger - that you'd appreciate it if you could have any further ones off her at cost price, so you could have the chance to get the profit you'd sacrificed.

Maybe she just didn't realise that you weren't charging her the normal rate. If she's got any decency, she'll be mortified and apologetic, and at least share the profits on this one.

It's worth being sure before ending a friendship. But a friend who takes advantage isn't really a friend. So talk to her, see what's going on, and give her a chance to put things right.

How do you source them? Is she doing anything much different to you, just choosing not to do favours for friends?

OP
you were a mug.
You are a business, if you gave her stuff cheap it was gifts, not business.
No way in the world does she has an obligation back to you.

I'm an accountant.
I do tax returns for some of my oldest friends (and their kids and their exes and their friends)
they all pay the same transparent fixed fee
because they are paying for my expertise.
For the hours I do their taxes I'm not their friend, I'm their professional adviser.
When they come to my parties I never ever discuss what I know of their finances.

Yeah, I have to say I'm struggling to see the issue, though clearly I'm a minority. You don't even make these toys so you're profiting off someone somewhere. They're her property now, why can't she do as she likes with them?

Cut her supply line. Job done

"because you were selling to her at cost price, not only with nonprofit but therefore having given your time for free and given up a likely profit from selling to a stranger - that you'd appreciate it if you could have any further ones off her at cost price, so you could have the chance to get the profit you'd sacrificed."

Its this. To me, even if she sold them back to me at cost price, her daughter has effectively had the use and enjoyment of these toys that she loves for free, for as long as she wants. I still sourced them, travelled (for hours in some instances) to collect them, and spent my time cleaning them up. I feel like she is taking the pee by now profiting from them herself when this is my business and I saw what I was doing as a favour to my friend.

Perhaps I need to be a better business woman, but I would have felt awkward not to have offered some form of "mates rates". I think those who say I should have stipulated "to be returned at same price when LO is no longer interested" are probably right.

She bought them, they're hers, she can do what she likes with them tbh. You need to make it clear in future if you want things back.