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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to go to cousin's hen night?

37 replies

saltire · 14/02/2007 08:09

My cousin (well she is actually my cousin's daughter) is getting married in April - different thread there i think. Her hen night is in March, at 2pm on a Friday afternoon. Her sister called me last night to invite me along. When i asked if we were having a good day/night out in Edinburgh because it was starting so early she said no.
It is being held at that time because
A) 6 children are going
B) All the women in the chuirch my cousins go to are going, most of them are over 50, andthe hen night couldn't be held on a Saturday as they all have church the next day.
Also, my cousin said, because the ladies from teh church were going, it would be unfair if the drinkers among us (mainly me and my 2 cousins!) had alcohol, so it's to be totally tee total, consists of a game of bowling and then home!

It means me giving up a day of work, travelling on the train, then going back again on the train.
I also don't think children should go to hen nights, or IMO older(much much older) people, but maybe i am just being a bit petty

OP posts:

brandy7 · 14/02/2007 08:11

wouldnt go myself

nailpolish · 14/02/2007 08:13

htats sounds boring

i wouldnt go either tbh

just say you cant get the time off work

Bozza · 14/02/2007 08:14

Children going seems particularly bizarre. I know some people who have invited their Mum and Aunties along. I didn't!

You are perfectly justified in saying you can't afford to take the time off work. I find it hard to believe that a game of bowling on a Saturday afternoon would render anyone unfit for Church on a Sunday - especially if there was not alcohol involved!

Original poster

saltire · 14/02/2007 08:16

The children that are going are my other cousin's 2 children, who are 10 and 8, the grooms neice who is 4 and the minister's daughter who is 12!
At that time on a Friday they are obviously being taken out of school, especially my other cousin's two children as they live in Glasgow

OP posts:

Bozza · 14/02/2007 08:19

Ridiculous. I wouldn't take my child out of school to go bowling when it would be just as easy to go on a Saturday. I think someone is getting their priorities just a little bit mixed up here.

Are all your family odd, saltire?

tigermoth · 14/02/2007 08:24

I loathe bowling so I certainly wouldn't go.

Last year, the christmas get together for all the parents in my son's class consisted of an evening at the local bowling hall. That was one PTA invite I binned immdiately.

Original poster

saltire · 14/02/2007 08:26

Not all my family bozza, just tha tparticular branch of it. The hen night isn't ass odd as the wedding though. None of the bride or grooms family are invited during the day, not even Grandparents or Aunts and uncles. The guests during the day are "family" from the church. All the proper family are just getting invited at night The bridesmaids are the brides sister, and two women from the church, one of 35, the other 42.
At the same cousins 21st, we (as in aunts, uncles, her grandparents etc) were all put at a table in an alcove "because it's unfair if you all drink and the others don't".

OP posts:

wilkie50 · 14/02/2007 08:28

Hee hee - that's funny. The wedding will be a blast!!!! I wouldn't go either, I would use the 'can't get day off work' excuse.

Children to a hen do

nearlythree · 14/02/2007 08:30

Are they Jehovah's Witnesses?

nailpolish · 14/02/2007 08:33

saltire, i think if you DO go, sneak in a wee half bottle of vodka, youll need it

nearlyfourbob · 14/02/2007 08:35

It's a hen night not a baby shower. Just stay at work it sounds boring as hell. And I am not a party animal at all.

Bozza · 14/02/2007 08:50

So saltire have you made your decision yet?

LieselVentouse · 14/02/2007 09:11

I dont think these things are compulsory, and I hate hen nights so very rarely go.

DimpledThighs · 14/02/2007 09:24

that doesn't sound like a hen night it sounds like a church outing.

don't go - I wouldn't!

gscrym · 14/02/2007 09:28

If you're supposed to be working on the saturday then don't go. MAke your apologies and if you really want to, arrange to go for a coffee with her sometime before the wedding.

It doesn't sound great but if that's what she wants then it's up to her. Ask if the stag night's going to be a better laugh and go to that.

MrsJohnCusack · 14/02/2007 09:38

why on earth can't they go on Saturday because it's church the next day - they're hardly going to be hungover are they!

it sounds RUBBISH
don't go

Miaou · 14/02/2007 09:42

Good grief. No, I wouldn't go. The "can't get out of work" clause is a perfectly good excuse IMO.

Sounds like the wedding is going to be a blast too!!

Original poster

saltire · 14/02/2007 10:26

Apparently they all have prayer groups on saturdays. I know they do on Sundays as well, because my cousin's never do anything on a Sunday.
I haven't had a chance to speak to Dh, but i know he will agree with me that its a bit silly, expecting me to give up a days work ( I am a CM ) just to go bowling for a n hour or two.
I am not a big fan of hen nights anyway, but the ones i have been at have always had a few drinks and been on a saturday night.
I did think about ringin my other cousins and seeing if they wanted to stay over in Edinburgh and just go out there afterwards, so at least we can feel as though we have done domething

OP posts:

ScottishThistle · 14/02/2007 10:44

Sorry but I'm pissing myself laughing!...Each to their own but I wouldn't even dream of taking a day off work for that fun packed day!

Actually I don't even think I'd go to the wedding reception...well not without a hip flask anyway!

Caligula · 14/02/2007 10:48

LOL at this thread. Are your cousins Blackadder's aunt and uncle, Saltire? Is turnips on the menu for the wedding?

And it's "unfair" if you drink? Eh? Unfair? It does rather suggest they're all desperate to down a bottle of vodka and will be driven into a frenzy if they see anyone else do so.

Chortle chortle

Bozza · 14/02/2007 10:53

I do actually wonder if the "it would be unfair for saltire to drink" is really an excuse, and the cousin is embarassed at having non-teetotal relations in front of her very strict church friends.

ScottishThistle · 14/02/2007 10:54

Ha, ha, ha!...Perhaps they're all recovering Alcoholics!!!

Hey you may even get a game of musical chairs!

Original poster

saltire · 14/02/2007 10:57

It's not just me who isn't allowed to drink, although i do sometimes wonder if my cousin thinks i have aproblem. No one is allowed to drink.
I won't go to hen night, I wouldn't be able to hold my tongue and would end up saying something, especially to cousins' church "friends", who will end up quoting the bible at me if i say "swearywords", like they did at her 21st, when i slipped on the floor and said, very loudly "oh piss". I got followed to the toilet by 2 of them! Told i shouldn't "use sweary words" etc.

OP posts:

Miaou · 14/02/2007 11:00

oh rofl saltire - I bet you have a file of amusing anecdotes on these lot!!

Agree - life is too short to spend a Friday in purgatory

ScottishThistle · 14/02/2007 11:01

I hope you told them to piss off! (laughs uncontrollably!)

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