Are you required to pay to see your childs school/class performances?

[Rivanshine]

AIBU to feel aggravated that we have to BUY tickets every blimmin' time our daughters school put on a play or dance performance?

Our girls are in years 4 & 2 and they go to a C of E voluntary-aided primary school. All the rehearsals and performances are done in school time and are orchestrated purely by the teaching staff so it's not an extra-curricular activity organised by an independent dance or theatre school for example.

In our case we have to double up on the tickets as well because they split the performances into morning & afternoon sessions and our girls are always in separate ones! Of course, we go to both. How could we not?

It's really been an eye-opener as to how much and how frequently this school asks for money nowadays. So much so that this Friday (Children in Need day) they've had to go low-key (by their own admission!) because they were getting complaints about the constant donation 'requests' for this, that & the other recently and I agree.

We're not in a middle or upper class area and the school is clearly not a private or independent one so quite why they think it's reasonable to force us parents to find all these extra sums of money to pay for whatever they want, whenever they want it is mind-boggling to me!

We're never consulted about any of the fund-raising ideas beforehand (or school trips either, and they chose really pricey ones to go to!) - we're just told what to do, how much we have to give and where the money's going to!!!!

Thing is though they've got you over a barrel because if you don't stump up the money your child is excluded from the activity and who wants to do that to their child? Exactly. Us neither! :(

Anyone else in this situation too?

It is tough and they can't attend if they won't explain that they can't afford it. Otherwise anyone who doesn't want to pay would just not bother paying whether they can afford it or not.
You should be ashamed because you make it harder for those who are too poor to pay. If lots of people just return requests with no money the school will just think they have a bunch of chances in their hands rather than thinking that some people might be in genuine difficulty Proving a point at the possible expense of others is never a good idea. If you really feel aggrieved about the costs and want to help those who are struggling why not join the PTA and make suggestions about raising money to fund things like performances so that no child has to go without and no parent has to feel embarrassed that they can't afford to pay. What you did was not an attempt to help anybody.

I didn't say it was and I don't agree with you that you should have to explain your finances to all and sundry because some people do treat others differently as a result. Very judgemental and all that.

If, most of the time you're OK and everyone & everything is getting paid on time etc then great. But sometimes you can still be caught out and fall short and it makes things a bit trickier that's all. Should you have to give copies of your bank statement to prove that? Let's not get silly.

And anyway, the school knows full well who's in what position. For one thing, £1320 per child per year is paid out on the Pupil Premium for those of lower incomes entitled to Free School Meals (in both KS1 & 2). And it continues to be paid out 5 Years after you even stop claiming! I know this because next year will be the last year my eldest will attract that premium for the school even though I only claimed for her reception year (back when FSM were not universal for all KS1)!

Now, I think that is cheeky, don't you? ;)

I feel your pain. I had to pay £10 for a picture my son drew, because they framed it for display.

No, the pupil premium isn't wrong to continue being paid for 5 years because the effects of poverty can last beyond the time the child is in actual poverty. Of course there will be anomalies whereby a child has only been in poverty for a few months but for many children poverty can last a few years and the effects of those few years can continue for longer.
And I have no problem providing bank statements to prove my poverty. My child gets a full
Bursary to a private school and I have to provide full financial details every year proving that we are poor. I don't have a problem with it, I am poor and because we are poor we also have to apply for a travel grant so we can afford the bus fares to school. I'm not embarrassed though. I chose that school. When he was at state school I had to either choose to pay for his performance tickets or choose not to attend or write to the school explaining that we didn't have the money for the tickets but would like to attend.

And please don't call me sweetheart because that it just patronising.

@SpeckledyBanana:
Goodness me, never heard of that one before! Amazing.......and not in a good way :(

We had the framed photo too bananas but only £8 at our school. We also had the Christmas cards that your kid has designed themselves costing £6 for a pack of 10 and the book they want you to but for £20 because your kids poem was published in it (every poem submitted gets published in the book). We also had the contribution of £20 per term towards swimming (transport costs). It changes when they get to high school because instead of constant requests for £1 - £10 on all manner of random things you get one off big requests, like trips abroad.

the school knows full well who's in what position. For one thing, £1320 per child per year is paid out on the Pupil Premium for those of lower incomes entitled to Free School Meals (in both KS1 & 2).

That depends where you are. In Wales it's half that amount. And there are no universal free school meals. Our school has trouble getting those entitled to even apply for FSM so loses thousands of ££s a year compared to the school a couple of hundred yards down the road (and is expected to meet the academic achievements of the schools in some of the most expensive areas of Wales to boot). So I'm afraid the expectation that others - including the parents - contribute isn't going away anytime soon.

Well, six I'm glad you don't feel embarrassed by your situation because I bloody well did when it happened to me. I didn't want anyone to know I was having a hard time (stupid ego & pride got in the way mostly!) for various reasons but mainly because I didn't want to be pitied or ridiculed. Unfortunately that happened to me an awful lot when I was a child. I hated it.

If anything, your circumstances seem to have spurred you on, good for you, and to get a place at a private school for your child with full bursary is bloody amazing

I wasn't trying to be patronising BTW.......but maybe I was just being a little bit cheeky? LOL ;)

Okay, truce called rivan. I do appreciate that people feel differently about their poverty. I think I try to take the attitude that I will not feel ashamed and will deal with it in a matter of fact way so that the impact is on me and not my child. So rather than a teacher chasing me for money, possibly in front of my child, I will already have dealt with the matter and my child doesn't need to know. The things I think must have been hard on my children is when they brought home sponsorship forms, especially those where there are different prizes for raising certain levels of money (the minimum used to be £15 for the smallest prize of a mini football). It is really unfair on children from poor backgrounds and without a big extended family to sponsor them.

And we are doing reasonably okay now. Still poor enough to get a 100% bursary and travel grant and still poor enough to have to budget very carefully for everything but with careful planning we can eat out a few times each year, go on a holiday in the uk once a year and replace clothes when we need to. We are even managing to send ds on his first foreign trip next year and won't need to borrow any money to do it . This is going to be the first xmas where we won't be buying presents on credit (we have still had to limit our xmas budget). I feel very lucky compared to some.

We pay 50p a ticket. They give money to Shelter charity