Are you required to pay to see your childs school/class performances?

[Rivanshine]

AIBU to feel aggravated that we have to BUY tickets every blimmin' time our daughters school put on a play or dance performance?

Our girls are in years 4 & 2 and they go to a C of E voluntary-aided primary school. All the rehearsals and performances are done in school time and are orchestrated purely by the teaching staff so it's not an extra-curricular activity organised by an independent dance or theatre school for example.

In our case we have to double up on the tickets as well because they split the performances into morning & afternoon sessions and our girls are always in separate ones! Of course, we go to both. How could we not?

It's really been an eye-opener as to how much and how frequently this school asks for money nowadays. So much so that this Friday (Children in Need day) they've had to go low-key (by their own admission!) because they were getting complaints about the constant donation 'requests' for this, that & the other recently and I agree.

We're not in a middle or upper class area and the school is clearly not a private or independent one so quite why they think it's reasonable to force us parents to find all these extra sums of money to pay for whatever they want, whenever they want it is mind-boggling to me!

We're never consulted about any of the fund-raising ideas beforehand (or school trips either, and they chose really pricey ones to go to!) - we're just told what to do, how much we have to give and where the money's going to!!!!

Thing is though they've got you over a barrel because if you don't stump up the money your child is excluded from the activity and who wants to do that to their child? Exactly. Us neither! :(

Anyone else in this situation too?

Our school plays vary. The big summer play is chargeable (c.£3 per ticket I think) whilst the Xmas ones have a bucket for donations - having said that DDs have to pay to go to after school drama club which is where rehearsals for the play take place so this would raise a fair amount.

I did have to say to the DCs a few weeks ago that we couldn't do everything that the school wanted. That week they'd got £55 out of me for the 2 children and then the children came home with sponsorship forms which suggested each child should raise £30 - so a total of £115 in one week. I don't think so.

My understanding is that paying for school trips is optional and my school does always say that those who are struggling can speak to the Head in confidence.

Demand for payments has definitely got worse since it became an academy with lots of classroom activities becoming chargeable or the school marketing extras to the children for us to pay for.

The school/academy did decide that they would use pupil premium to fund breakfast club, afterschool care, clubs and trips for FSM. At this time the fees for breakfast club and afterschool care saw a c.20% whilst the lunches and clubs also increased.

I saw a kid going into school last year wearing a bog standard jumper with some tinsel loosely tacked on as their "Christmas jumper" I thought some woman was a total genius! Totally nicking that one.

Have never had to pay for a school performance other than when I was at second level. My school charged for those.
I'd pay if it got me out of supplying a costume though!

I'm happy to pay to watch mine in concerts. It £1 per ticket and we are only allowed two per child.
What does annoy me is the costumes for DC3 and DC4 it has cost nearly £40.

We do this every year. I got burnt to the tune of 2 onesies that were bought for 'wear your onesie to school' day - they never wore them again. So now it's what you have anyway or can construct for nowt.

I've never had to pay to see my kids plays. The school film it and then sell the DVD to make some money for the school but it's not compulsory to buy. If there was like a theatre production at DD's secondary school that she'd want to be in then I'd expect to buy a ticket but just for primary school nativity it's ridiculous.

Notanetter
That's interesting about VA schools. My dc primary is also a VA church school. We get a letter every term about how the school only gets 90% funded and that 'we' need to raise the extra 10%. They ask for a cheque which I have been duly paying, and more.
Thing is, whether they're being cheeky in asking or not, the bottom line is, it's the kids who'd go without their library books if I didn't pay, which I'd prefer to avoid, and hope enough other people feel likewise.

Don't blame the school blame the budget cuts. Our PTA fundraise for what I would see as basic stuff like covers for playground, play equipment, IT equipment, funds to subsidise school trips for low income families etc. None of this now in school budget if we want it pta need to fundraise for it.

That said our school never charge to attend performances. PTA did a dvd of the nativity that you could buy which was such a pita to arrange we didn't do it one year and was uproar and complaints from parents. PTA can't win it seems.

We have to pay here, it gets a lot this time of year but then the rest of the year they don't really ask for much. This week we've had letters for nativity £3 a ticket (2 shows each), choir concert £5 a ticket, panto £13 each, mayors carol show?? £4.50 each, children in need £1 cancer research £1 each then theres Christmas Creations next week where you have to go buy the tat lovely orniments they've made and buy raffle tickets and hot dags etc, it usually costs about £10 a child. 2 kids in school so thats roughly £80 they want. Like i said though, apart from summer fair and the odd non uniform day they dont ask for much the rest of the year. x

We pay £2 per ticket.

Demands for money will increase - check out your local school here

www.schoolcuts.org.uk/#/

Never had to pay at school - only for drama/dance club performances etc. I think having to pay for tickets every few weeks to watch kids dance around to a cd seems excessive.

Thanks for all your feedback everyone - greatly appreciated! :)

Just a quick update. End of last week I tested the situation by sending back the ticket request form but without the money enclosed.

This morning the school office rang me to ask for the money and told me that if I didn't send the money in today then I wouldn't be allocated the 2 tickets I need (my girls are in separate performances) and they would be given to someone else on the reserve list.

And this is the attitude I'm talking about. It's not the money.......it's the demanding tone they use in their letters and emails towards parents that I don't agree with.

AIBU???

On a side note, the Nativity play that my youngest will be in (she's in yr2) is free of charge. Go figure.

Hope everyone has a good week! Thanks again :)

So you wanted free tickets, when the school had said there was a charge? Well yes of course they're chasing for the money! Yabu

Schools don't charge for the fun of it. It's not to pay for the teachers Christmas party. It's for essentials for the children that the government budget cuts mean the school can't otherwise afford

Not normal to have to pay IME.

We don't for usual school things - harvest, Christmas, awards ceremony.

We do for dance/drama shows but they're not compulsory curriculum and are put on in a theatre so happy to pay.

OK, but what about this:

What if you're weren't in a good financial position and your child's school kept asking for money for activities that happen in school time and you're struggling to find the cash.......what then? So you and your child are both penalised for not having enough spare money? Also, do you realise what it's like to have to admit that fact, not only to yourself but to other people? It makes you feel like a piece of shit!

I GET IT that there are shortfalls and cutbacks and I WILL be paying for the tickets - I'm NOT a flippin' freeloader!

But only a couple of years ago, when I was separated from my husband and living alone with the kids, I was in a completely different situation. Back then I really struggled financially and I ended up in debt because of it. There just wasn't enough money for everything. And it makes you feel like a failure and a bad parent.

The exercise of sending the form back without any money was to see how the school would initially react. I still think it's unfair to exclude on the basis of contribution or payment.

Many of you may not agree with me or get where I'm coming from, and that's fine. But I bet there's at least a handful of people who've 'been there' as a parent and can empathise with my thought process on this one! ;)

I still think it's unfair to exclude on the basis of contribution or payment.

But on that basis they'd have to allow everyone to go without paying. If there are costs associated with putting on the show (there usually are) it would end up costing the school money, and given most can't afford that it's more likely there'd be no show at all.

If somebody is genuinely struggling then they can speak to the school and most schools will waive the fee. Simply sending back a form without payment doesn't tell the school that you are struggling and if everybody did that the school budget would take a big hit which means less
Money for your child's essential education.
However, attending a performance is not an essential requirement so they school can charge if they wish to do so or need to cover the costs of putting on the performance. I think you were very cheeky to send back the form without payment and without an explanation of being unable to afford the cost. The school were right to chase you up. If people are too embarrassed about their financial situation to speak to the school and explain that they can't afford the rixkets then it is tough - they can't attend.

We have to pay here too. £3 per ticket each performance.
I have two children in the same school. So it's double the cost. We also have to provide some or all of the costumes.
At the Christmas performance programmes are on sale for 50p each. And at the end the children get there pics taken and they sell these to you for £1 each.
We have a Christmas fare coming up, so school ask for donations for stalls and raffle items. Children can bring £3 each that day to spend.
We have a chocolate bingo event soon, we donate the chocolate. It's £2 a ticket and you get one bingo card or you can buy more for £1 each.
Then there will be Christmas jumper day. Pay £1 to wear your jumper.
Than lastly, a Christmas party. £2-50 a ticket and refreshments Available to buy.
It does seem a lot when you put it all together. This is just what's going on from now until Christmas.
The school are taking all the children to the cinema as a treat on the last day of term. We have been asked to pay £2 towards the cost and supply a small bag of sweets.

Sorry but returning the form without the money and no explanation indicates to the school that you ARE a freeloader

People who are genuinely struggling absolutely need to speak to the school who will hopefully ensure their child doesn't miss out on things.

@harderandharder2breathe:
Well, clearly I'm not a freeloader as I'm paying for the tickets and, BTW I've paid out for EVERY single request that my children's school has made since they started 5 years ago. And there have been a lot of requests to say the least!

I was just pointing out that sometimes it does add up and in my original post I actually only asked was I being unreasonable to feel aggroed about having to find the extra money all the time. It definitely gets on my husband's nerves (he went to the same school!) and my MIL is surprised by how much we're asked to pay for nowadays.

Personally, it's been really interesting to read all the different responses to see how others are faring out there.

@Sixisthemagicnumber:
I'm guessing that you've never (thankfully) been in the situation where you're at a disadvantage. Because coming from that place, having to constantly 'spill your guts' and tell your flippin' life story every time you're trying to do or access something that is so straightforward (if you have the money) is horrible. And believe me, wherever possible, you really do try to avoid that situation. The less well-off still have some pride too y'know ;)

I didn't say you are a freeloader, I said that would be the schools perception and if course they chased for the money

I've been on the receiving end of having my place on an activity subsidised because I can't afford it, I didn't have to spill my life story. Only the team manager and treasurer knew that I was a freeloader (I'd been invited to join, I declined due to cost)

I am also a guide leader and have used extra unit funds to subsidise girls places on camps and trips. Again, without asking for the life story of the girl or her family. Also without making it common knowledge.

You couldn't have me more wrong rivan. I have been the kid who missed out of trips because my mum couldn't afford to pay and there was no scheme in my day to let the poor kids go who couldn't pay. As a child I had to admit to my friends that I was staying behind at school because we had no money. Believe me, it is harder to admit that to other children as child than it is to write a discreet note to school as an adult.
even as a child I had to write notes to school in my mums behalf explaining that we couldn't afford things like cooking money or trainers for PE because my mum is dyslexic and cannot write a simple
Note.
So don't make assumptions about people.
I still maintain that what you did was bloody cheeky. The fact you did it to test what would happen makes me quite angry on behalf of those who genuinely can't afford to pay and need to send their request back with a note saying that they can't afford the tickets. You should be ashamed of yourself.

through our nose - but for the costume, not the tickets

@Sixisthemagicnumber:

So if you know what it's like to be the child in this situation, as do I.......(you shouldn't make assumptions about people either sweetheart!), then WHY would you take the stance of 'If people are too embarrassed about their financial situation to speak to the school and explain that they can't afford the rixkets then it is tough - they can't attend.'

'Tough - they can't attend.'

That's pretty harsh. I'm in a much better position in life now then when I was growing up and my children haven't had to go through what I did - thank goodness. But would I keep perpetuating the idea that because I couldn't do or have certain things years ago that others in the same boat nowadays should face the same outcome??? NO

As I've already said, I've paid for EVERY request made by the school thus far - not a problem. I never said I wasn't going to pay this time either.

But don't you think the reaction of the school was a bit heavy? What if the money had been mislaid or I asked my husband to do it and he forgot? No, THEY jumped to conclusions and said: no money, no show.

Come on now, why on earth should I be ashamed for calling them out on this? Because if they genuinely thought for one second that the request for tickets without the money enclosed meant that maybe the parent had difficulty paying then why not just ask that instead of: 'where's the money, bitch?'

OK, so they didn't say that.......but you know what I mean LOL!! ;) :D