To put a new PE kit in Ds stocking

[ReallyTired]

Ds is 14 years old and has lost his PE kit yet again. He just doesn't care. Aibu to get santa to bring him new trainers, PE kit and a bag and a potato. The PE kit is in excess of £100 when you include the cost of a new bag and school uniform and trainers. everything is logoed

He wants a new mobile phone and tablet, but I can't see how we can afford it when we have to replace his entire PE kit. A big problem would be what he wears for the next month. I am proposing to send him in with a plain white shirt and Tesco shorts. I know he will be punished and frankly I don't care.

[ReallyTired]

My son goes to a state comprehensive. I dont really have that much choice about school. All the other state secondaries have expensive uniform as well.

"Having the correct PE kit isn't optional, and it isn't fair on the school or other parents to not replace it TBH."

As someone said upthead logoed uniform takes money and time to replace. I am not harry potter, where do you expect to magic up logoed uniform from? It has to be ordered. In the meantime ds needs something to wear for PE.

[A7mint]

If you speak to the PE department and explain the position, they will have mountains of lost property he can wear til his turns up.If he genuinely has lost it it is bound to turn up sooner or later. If it doesn't then someone has nicked it and he shouldn't be blamed.At my DC's school there is nowhere secure to keep PE kit or coats- they have tobe left in a cloakroom.If someone forgets their kit they used to nick someone else's! I think some people just hide them for a joke My DS14 lost 3 full PE kits in a year and they all turned up in weird places.Problem is largely solved now by having a combination lock through the zippers and PE dept insisting on PE kit being named on the outside in big.

[JosephineMaynard]

If you choose to send your child to a school with a specific uniform, then you are taking on the financial commitment to send your child to school every day with the correct uniform.

Every school near me, state or private, has a specific uniform. The only way to avoid school uniform round here would be home education, which isn't an option for all families (I know I would feel unqualified to home educate my 5 yr old adequately, never mind a 14yr old).

OP, I would buy a PE kit now, but buy it out of the Christmas money - tell him that he's not getting the expensive stuff he wants because you had to spend the money on the new PE kit instead.
The suggestions about telling him he's not getting expensive tech until he's proved he can look after his other stuff properly also sounds good.

[ReallyTired]

Logged PE kits are expensive and time consuming to replace. I am not Harry Potter and he is going to need something to do PE in tomorrow. Hence the cheap Tesco option so that he can do PE tomorrow.

[insan1tyscartching]

I would send him without kit the PE department will have spare kit anyway I wouldn't bother buying Tesco replacement. At least if he goes without kit for a few lessons it alerts the school that it is lost and will no doubt get the PE teachers on his case to search lost property etc in school.It may well be found then and negate the need for a replacement.

[ReallyTired]

He has lost his PE kit several times during his school career. Its the fourth time he has lost the lot since year 7. He is in year 10. He knows that santa isn't real. He doesn't have enough money to replace his kit. Taking the cost out of christmas money would wipe the lot, which I think is a bit harsh.

[Meadows76]

No. making him take responsibility is fine, but I wouldn't use Christmas as a chance to do it. That's a real shame.

[ReallyTired]

So are you suggesting that I should buy his sister fewer presents to pay for his PE kit so that a lazy 14 year old misses out on the magic. Logoed PE kits do not grow on trees and we will have to cut back something to find the money to replace his PE kit.

He is a brat and frankly deserves a potato in his stocking. Anyway it could be argued he is far too old for a stocking.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Telling him that this is what you are planning might focus his mind enough that he will go and search properly for his kit.

We had this several times with ds1's kit - and it always turned up eventually - but once dh had to go up to school with him, and help him search properly.

It might be worth asking the school if they have second hand kit you could buy more cheaply, Really.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

I think some people are saying he may have accessible money and to use that cash. I.e. In a money box or in the bank.

Does he have any? Otherwise if you can't afford kit and the present of his dreams, you will have to choose.

However, I think on reflection he is old enough to discuss this situation with him. It may put the impetus on him to actually find the darn thing if he knows he's going to bite the bullet himself.

[BarbarianMum]

Actually, it really isn't, it's perfectly reasonable. I mean this in a nice way, but stop babying him.

I started making dreamy, forgetful ds1 replace lost things aged 9 and after paying for 1 watch and 1 school jumper he amazingly became capable of searching for lost things, finding them and not loosing them in the first place. And this is the boy who got through countless lunch boxes/jumpers/gloves/hats and a PE kit in the previous 6 months!

[Ncbecauseitshard]

Can you give him the ultimatum, he finds his lost kit or he gets nothing else for Christmas? Has he actually been to lost property to check for it?