To Think My Gym Instructor Is Pedalling Bollocks?

[SheDoneAlreadyDoneHadHerses]

Just started at the gym, had an induction last week where I expressed my interest in the strength machines (weights machines, rather than free weights), and was offered a free personalised training schedule.
Turn up today and the chap had me doing cardio as I need to improve on that first before I go on to use the strength machines, apparently, and then he went on to talk to me about eating an alkaline diet. So plant-based (fair enough, I could do with upping my veg intake), no red meat, little dairy, with lots of alkaline water which I can also use as a moisturiser as it's so hydrating.
I just ended up nodding and smiling at him, but surely water is hydrating enough as it is, otherwise the human race has been pondering round dehydrated forever. He also told me that it helps prevent cancer as cancer can't survive in an alkaline environment, and he's got a special tap at home on his kitchen sink that can make his water as alkaline or acidic as he liked, so he uses pH level 1 acidic water to clean his house with as it doesn't need cleaning product.

He's talking nonsense, isn't he?

Please go back and ask lots of in-depth scientific questions about his magic tap.

Also warn him of the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. Explain you are trying to avoid exposure to it and ask if he has any tips.

Bollocks
Btw when I first joined a gym, 20 years ago, I was assigned some idiot who told me similar about not using weights till I'd got a major cardio routine going.

I insisted on being shown weight training, he showed me two machines for legs and butt, then questioned why I wanted to lift weights saying "but women always want to do legs and butt".

I told reception I wanted a new induction with someone with a brain. The new person, a woman, gave me a great weights intro and twenty years later, still enjoying my weights.

It also thorough debunks them, Christmas.

Please go back, SheDone, I'm dying to see the diet sheet. And you simply must ask him where to get this miracle tap that can go from Ph 1 to Ph God knows what.

I'm visualising his cleaning routine as being somewhat like that bit in Alien when the acid blood is eating through the ship's levels.

A woo friend of mine does all the alkaline diet to prevent cancer etc. She looks so ill all the time, I want to shove a steak in her mouth.

Me too. She also said she is doing gluten free I asked her if she had coeliac or was it a choice of hers and she didnt really answer.

She looks ill too and I have to say she has got so thin it has been very aging.

Is it maybe a water softener he is talking about?

I had the DDs going over dihydrogen monoxide one lovely April. Lasted days

The guy is an epic wanker. It's total bullshit. Anyone with a GCSE is chemistry or biology should be able to see through that.

PH1 will strip out his kitchen, and his hands, and his eyes! He's not just talking bollocks. He's talking dangerous bollocks. What if you'd taken his advice, gone home, and melted your bathroom with hydrochloride acid?! You'd lose weight all right, but mainly because it would make your arms burn off!

It's not a softener, it's an ionzing filter think. You can get machines too, a family member has one.

The alkaline diet's been around for a while and is total bollocks. I was once recommended it by a pharmacist when I went to pick up my prescription.

It also thorough debunks them, Christmas.

Yes, that's why I linked to it I am in possession of more than one braincell.

I occasionally "alkalise" my diet as I have a hiatus hernia that causes dreadful acid reflux. Therefore if I have too much acid, eg coffee, booze, I need to balance it out. However the cancer prevention part sounds like balls. I'd be more concerned that they're telling you you need up up your cardio before you get on the weights! Your weight training should be part of your cardio, eg kettle bells, free weights, not separate. My training consists of interval training using weights and it's best for fat burning and strength. Sounds like they're very old school in their training methods. I'd find another gym.

Sorry Christmas, I think it's probably me with the one brain cell

Do you know what's alkaline? Bleach.

His "Bro science" is utter bollocks! Up your water intake as well as fruits and veg and eat good lean protein whilst dropping processed and sugar laden food.
You cannot bulk up using weights as you don't have the testosterone levels to do so and hell you would need to give up your job/life and train all day to get anywhere close to bulking up!
I found this section of Bodybuilding.com handy for finding exercises/correct form.
Good luck on avoiding him but if he keeps this crap up you need to complain to management about his lies.

I think Christmas is definitely on to something. I give it 2 weeks before he's trying to flog you 'Alkalyze or die' by 'Doctor' Theodore Baroody and an electrolysiser to alkalise your water and trying to rope you in to selling it as well.

You won't bulk up thru heavy weights, that's old skool thinking. You'll get lean and strong using heavy weights.

As strongmummy posted you can incorporate cardio in to your routine via weights (kettlebells, prowler, setting up a circuit, super setting etc. etc. Extensive list on many ways to achieve it). You do not need to do cardio separately before moving on the machines. bodybuilding.com is good for plans and showing you how to use machines.

Also as others have said, you won't get bulky from lifting weights. Women have to do a bit more than just that (certain supplements etc.) normally to get in to bodybuilder physique type bulk. You will get lean and strong from lifting weights though.

I'm sure if you have any questions that a lot of us on here would be happy to answer them for you.

Is this alkaline stuff the new Forever Living aloe crap?

In many places, the trainers are not only completely self employed but they actually have to pay rent to be allowed to base themselves there. They rely on pushy timeshare sales type relationships to recruit you. They are taken advantage of by the gun who don't pay proper staff, and are likely to try and take advantage of you, too.

*by the gym, sorry! No guns necessary!

Alkaline water? Is it unicorn piss?

Blimey , did he look like he was on steroids or something? I think thy can often muddle the brain, Wonder what he will come up with next week,

I do weights, get the Chloe Madeley weights for women app, shows you how to use them in the gym without help.

Weights don't make you bulky if you're a woman, they make uou lean. But you have to go for as heavy as you can, for say 3 sets of eight, rather than low weight and a high number of reps. It does make a difference honest. I also do 10-12 mins cardio before each weight session, loosens me up, gets the heart beat up and well because I feel I shouldd some cardio. But it's dull as fuck. Weights leave uou sweating and panting, but at least aren't dull.

Hah! Ph 1 will burn his fingers off and melt his kitchen. Alkaline of the same alkalinity (think I made that word up... on nights) will do the same but more effectively. Of course, ph is a broad spectrum but the imagery just amused me. If you genuinely want to alkalyse your diet, eat plant based, that will do it. You don't need alkaline water... although I don't see why you'd bother. Also "more hydrating" made me genuine lol. What is mote hydrating than water?
Seeing a broad range of metabolic statuses, blood and urine pH a day tells me that if you're ill, you're ill. There's a normal pH range for humans and if you're even slightly out of it, we'll aggressively correct it in hospital so you don't die.

He is talking utter shite. I would ask for someone else or a refund and say you didn't pay for pseudo scientific bollocks you can get for free online.

Unfortunately lots of PTs who are struggling to make money are jumping on to juice plus and other diet fad stuff to try and supplement their incomes.

Which 99% fails of course and doesn't put them in a good light to other PTs (I have a PT myself and a few friends who are qualified).

You shouldn't need to change the gym, just tell him your not interested, if it's his gym then I might considered leaving, but if he is working for someone else and because quite pushy with it, complain.