To Think My Gym Instructor Is Pedalling Bollocks?

[SheDoneAlreadyDoneHadHerses]

Just started at the gym, had an induction last week where I expressed my interest in the strength machines (weights machines, rather than free weights), and was offered a free personalised training schedule.
Turn up today and the chap had me doing cardio as I need to improve on that first before I go on to use the strength machines, apparently, and then he went on to talk to me about eating an alkaline diet. So plant-based (fair enough, I could do with upping my veg intake), no red meat, little dairy, with lots of alkaline water which I can also use as a moisturiser as it's so hydrating.
I just ended up nodding and smiling at him, but surely water is hydrating enough as it is, otherwise the human race has been pondering round dehydrated forever. He also told me that it helps prevent cancer as cancer can't survive in an alkaline environment, and he's got a special tap at home on his kitchen sink that can make his water as alkaline or acidic as he liked, so he uses pH level 1 acidic water to clean his house with as it doesn't need cleaning product.

He's talking nonsense, isn't he?

The little ratbag!!

I did the strength machines during my induction and bloody loved them! I have absolutely no upper body strength, but I can easy shift 30kg with my thighs.

I don't fancy going to the other branch of the gym as it's further away and bigger (and scarier). The joy of this one was that it's next door to work and on the way home.

I'm going to have to tell him to piss off aren't I? But politely.

What's he doing giving you dietary 'advice' anyway? Is he a qualified dietician? Or does he spend all of his free time googling ways of 'eating as much as you want without gaining weight' aka disordered eating? Again, why exactly is he peddling this crap to you? An induction is to show you the roles at the gym, sometimes they do quick tests to see what sort of programme would suit you, sometimes it's more a case of showing you the technical aspects of using the equipment.
I would have hqd to say sometjing, I'm afraid. And I fucking hate cardio - bollocks to that.

What a tosser!

Ask for a different instructor?

Just ignore him, I am a pretty decent athlete and I recently joined a gym to do a bit more strength work in the winter. The guy who showed me round was very pleasant, but knew nothing about training. I actually have a coach who has worked out a great programme for me, use the gym in a way that suits you, loads of good free advice on here and some of the better fitness magazines, lists to your body and do a bit of reading and you make yourself a great programme. what are your fitness goals and available training time? You are paying for the gym not a personal trainer.

Weights and cardio training are fine together. You don't need to improve cardio to lift?!

The rest is such rubbish it needn't be commented on

Christ almighty what a complete pile of shit! Is there a gym manager? I'd be having a word.

I thought he was leading upto selling you something, I was sure it was a Forever Living product.

I had a very strange conversation with a gym worker last week, we were chatting about the weather when she pipped up "Your skins looking a lot clearer, it must be all the training you are doing", cue me dumb founded because I did not even know I had anything wrong with my skin, I nodded in a state of disbelief, she then asked "Do you use FL products, full sales pitch followed. I told her I wasn't interested and left, I now avoid her like the plague.

You can't moisturise with water. Water can't be absorbed by your skin, so it will either run off or evaporate. This is called getting wet, not moisturising. He's an idiot.

I'll tell him I've been speaking to a qualified nutritionist friend* and they've suggested I just try to eat less processed food and more whole foods.

Then avoid him like the plague.

Actually, he said he'd have a training plan and diet sheet ready for me next Tuesday. I might report back.

*you lot

Is this part of a chain of gyms? I would be speaking to the manager I think - he's clearly talking total crap and I'd be wondering what Christmas cracker he got his personal training qualifications out of if he believes in pH water.

Is that a euphamism StStrattersOfMN!!

Sounds like a right weirdo doesn't he.

I had an introductory fitness workout. The guy clearly fancied himself - we did me lying on a bench whilst we threw iron bars at each other (sounds worse than it was but the slightly sexual overtones were quite weird).

Having not asked me when I last exercised my abs or how many full term pregnancies I'd had, proceeded to put me through an ab exercise which actually caused a small hernia!!!!!

You're getting off lightly with your battery acid water drinking advice!!

He wants to keep his mind on his job and, if in any way shape or form you're wanting to go to a gym partly to lose weight, building muscle mass is absolutely essential so unless you set out the details of some horrific injuries, there is no reason at all that you shouldn't do some weights.

What an odd fellow he sounds.

Pseudoscience 😂😖

If you like everything else and the fitness plan seems great (maybe show it to somebody with some experience...) then you could simply claim your eating that way?

The dairy part is a huuge discussion, tbh. tried to read up on it and then despaired...

Cleans with pH1???? God help the surfaces!!!

Just wanted to echo others and say you should have a word with the gym manager. What he has advised goes way beyond the normal scope of a training session. You are sensible enough to sense that it's all bollocks but others might be more easily swayed. He's massively overstepping his role and should be pulled up on it, even of he means well. If he wants to peddle alkaline water then he needs to do it when he's not working at the gym.

*you're

You could try cutting out dairy to see if you feel better without it, I guess?

I personally can't eat too many simple carbs (bread, pasta, white rice)... they make me ravenous and I gain weight quickly. Just find out what works for you :)

As an ex-PT, I'd make sure you were getting a good balance of both cardio and weights if you were keen, but go for lower weights and higher numbers of repetitions if you just want to get lean/speed up your metabolism and not bulk up. Don't go for the heavy weights or a weight where you tire quickly and can't do more than 6-8 reps in one go because that will build muscle bulk fast unless of course that is what you are aiming for, in which case go for it!

But I do not believe he has a magic tap, bless him - he must be one of those very gullible not terribly bright people who believe any old bollocks (I have a friend who was the same about FL which is what I thought this would be about too!).

it's bollocks.
plus alkaline water tastes disgusting (my parents have a mashine at home).

Don't go for the heavy weights or a weight where you tire quickly and can't do more than 6-8 reps in one go because that will build muscle bulk fast unless of course that is what you are aiming for, in which case go for it!

That's not at all what my pt says (and in my experience of working out I agree). Women don't have enough testosterone to get really big so you can safely lift heavy weights (if your form is good) to develop lovely toned but not bulky muscles.

While I agree he should be reported can I first sell him some magic beans which I had washed with super alkaline unicorn tears?

My homeopath prescribed cider vinegar for a skin issue I was having, I needed to increase acidity in my diet, waffle waffle, something about what she found in my hair root analysis, waffle waffle. However it worked. I never quite get how it works but she seems to know her stuff and I have had great results from taking her advice. Not sure about acid taps though!

I life rather heavy weights and I'm not bulky. I obviously don't spend hours in the gym... but as far as I know women need to do a lot to get bulky.

I personally do tend to get big calf muscles easily, so that's something my trainer did consider when making my routine. But the upper body? I think it would take a lot to become really bulky as a woman...

*lift

Use the machines! Cardio for half an hour (to warm up) and then use the weights and finish off on the rowing machine.
I'm on 35KG on most of the machines apart from the shoulder press. Over 100KG on the leg press and I'm the wrong side of 50.
My muscle mass is 61% which is good for my age, and I'm 25 BMI.
Weight training is the best way to get rid of fat. And no, you won't look like a bodybuilder. Only trim and defined.
The alkaline diet? Rubbish! Protein and veg are the gods!

Oh my god what nonsense!!!!

Please please report back on the diet sheet!!!! Cutting out major food groups doesn't do any good. Any good PT will tell you that, and so hilarious that you were forced to do cardio before using the weight machines!! I want to meet this guy!!!!!

For those who are curious, ionizing taps do exist.

www.chem1.com/CQ/ionbunk.html