Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Unfair inheritance?

57 replies

Timeforausernamechange · 14/11/2016 19:32

DH and I are writing our wills. It's pretty straightforward as we've not got many assets, however we are stuck about how to fairly divide our estate between our nieces and nephews should both of us and our own DCs be wiped out due to some sudden calamity.

DH has 6 nephews and nieces on his side and I have 2 on mine. This number is not going to increase. DH maintains it is only fair that we spilt the estate equally between all 8. But something in me says it would be fairer to split it 50/50 between his side and mine, then divide that equally between them?

Part of me is swayed by the fact that the 6 on his side are likely to be well provided for by rich grandparents, which is less the case for my sisters children?

What is the fairest way of dividing it up?

OP posts:

ZoFloMoFo · 14/11/2016 19:34

I would say all of the nieces and nephews should be equal...

not yours are more equal than theirs.

And you've no way of knowing how well provided for they're likely to be.

RichardBucket · 14/11/2016 19:35

There's such a remote possibility of them ever inheriting that I wouldn't waste any energy thinking about it. A sensible solution would be leave half to your sibling and half to his, and let them decide how much their kids get.

Grilledaubergines · 14/11/2016 19:35

50/50. Your sides 50% gets divided in 2. His side gets divided up by 6. You share your assets equally now so they should be split equally in the event of your nieces and nephews being beneficiaries.

OohhThatsMe · 14/11/2016 19:35

I disagree - I think you leave your half to your nephews etc and your husband does the same to his.

Having said that, this is very, very unlikely to happen, isn't it?

MidMay · 14/11/2016 19:36

50/50 spilt between his and your side imo. Seems more equitable to me.

Floggingmolly · 14/11/2016 19:36

Split equally between them. They're all individuals, whichever "side" they're on...
Oh, and the rich grandparents can leave their cash wherever they like / spend it all before they die / have it eaten up by nursing homes, whatever.
The kids are not guaranteed a penny from that or any other source.

KateInKorea · 14/11/2016 19:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmberEars · 14/11/2016 19:39

When DH and I wrote our wills we only considered one or both of us dying. As pp have said, this is such a remote possibility that I wouldn't bother to include it.

Smoothyloopy · 14/11/2016 19:40

We split ours 50/50 to go to each side of the family. Mine gets split between my 2 nephews DP's between his 9 nieces & nephew's. We never had a discussion just seemed fair at the time.

OohhThatsMe · 14/11/2016 19:41

But Amber, are you and your husband never in a car together? On holiday together?

HerRoyalNotness · 14/11/2016 19:41

I'm with you, 50/50 then split as you want

OohhThatsMe · 14/11/2016 19:41

Oops, sorry, I misread it!

RNBrie · 14/11/2016 19:42

We have something similar. My side of the family will be well taken care of by my parents where as dh's won't inherit anything. So we've left it all to his side. It's such an unlikely thing to happen that it's not worth falling out about (we have three dc) but an inheritance from us would be life changing on his side of the family and barely noticeable on mine.

AmberEars · 14/11/2016 19:46

Yes, we are. I'm not saying it's not a possibility! I'm just saying that it's so unlikely (even if we were in a car crash there might well be some survivors) that I personally wouldn't bother including it in my will. So in that eventuality I understand that our money would go to our next of kin.

Theoretician · 14/11/2016 19:48

What would the intestacy rules specify in that scenario?

Also, I don't see why you have to agree. Just each put what you like in your own will.

Actually, I think it's a bit odd to leave your own assets to your partners nieces and nephews.

If you both die in the same car crash, the marriage is over and the share in any joint assets immediately belongs to your separate estates. There is no "we" any more.

itlypocerka · 14/11/2016 19:49

We have the same dilemma. We have 4 nieces and nephews - I have 2 siblings one with 2dc and one with 1, DH has 1 sibling with 1 dc.

We have a 3-way dilemma:

50:50 split his side and mine would mean that one nephew got 3 times the inheritance that the other 3 got.

Split evenly among the descendents of each of our own siblings means that 2 of the kids get half what the other 2 get, and my side of the family gets twice what his side gets.

Split equally among the 4 kids they all get the same but my side gets 3 times what his side gets.

None of the options seems at all fair!

We made rubbish DIY wills a long time ago in which we went for option 1 but I regret that and want to change it to one of the other options.

AnneElliott · 14/11/2016 19:53

I agree it should be 50/50 your side and his side. That is what intestacy rules would do I think if you had no will and you were all wiped out.

Meadows76 · 14/11/2016 19:54

We dont consider our nieces and nephews to be 'his side' or 'my side' they are all just our nieces and nephews. If we had 80k to leave that would be 10k each. In your 50/50 split it would give 2 of them £20k each and the other 6 less than 7k each. How is that in any way fair?

What makes 'your' nices and nephews more important or entitled than 'his'?

I couldn't do it, I would be devastated to learn my aunt and uncle felt of us as being 'his and her' parts of the family.

icy121 · 14/11/2016 20:01

I'd leave it to immediate family only - so half to each of your siblings. As others have said though it's a very remote possibility, so I wouldn't really worry about it. OR if you can't decide you could make provision for a charity instead, especially if the family has enough to provide for them anyway, it would be a lovely tribute to leave it all to the Parkinson's Society or so on. That's just me, though.

PlumsGalore · 14/11/2016 20:01

We didnt do it like this, 50% of the estate was shared between DHs relatives and 50% mine

His family is massive, mine isn't. Solicitor recommended this, we both ageeed.

mycatwantstokillme1 · 14/11/2016 20:04

Agree with Meadows76. My eldest sister started talking about her will - she has no kids - my middle sister has 2 & I have one. Eldest wanted to put in her will we get 50/50 but that means my sisters kids would have less, and I don't think that's fair on them.

She said that my middle sis & her DH earn more (I am a SP working part time). But no-one knows what the future will bring, and I think it's only fair that neices & nephews, if they are inclued in a will are treated equally.

TeenAndTween · 14/11/2016 20:05

50/50 here.

This is something people can consider when they have children. The more you have the more diluted any inheritance gets.

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 14/11/2016 20:06

I think it's wise to think of every eventuality. I know a family who died together- the husband and wife, their children and her father. Yes, it's very unlikely, but if something so terrible does happen it will be easier to cope with for those left behind if there is a clear Will in place.
I have no nieces or nephews so that would mean the 22244479430 children in MrZippy's family getting tuppence-ha'penny each! I don't think the exact division matters too much unless there would be a massive difference.

elfonshelf · 14/11/2016 20:14

DH and I are both 1 of 4. However big difference in terms of numbers of children and living standards on both sides - some with 3 kids who live pay cheque to pay cheque, some who are very well off and have just one child and so on.

In the end we decided that should something happen to all of us, then everything is split equally amongst our 6 siblings for the benefit of their children's education or to be held in trust until their 25th birthdays.

Obviously that means that some of them would do much better than the others, but we reckoned they could just blame their parents.

smurfest · 14/11/2016 20:17

It seems strange that you're considering the possibility of all your immediate family being wiped out in some disaster, but not the possibility that the nieces/nephews might increase in number, nor the possibility that the rich grandparents might lose their money.

Flip

1 2 3