To let my baby cry it out?

[ConstanceAndTheElephant]

My five month old DD gets these moods where she wants to be held by someone STANDING UP. The person has to be standing up. If they sit down with her she'll scream uncontrollably. She can be just fed, winded, fresh from a nap, clean nappy - I.e. no other reason for her to cry, it's just that she INSISTS on her grown up being stood up. As soon as you stand up she stops crying, as soon as you sit down she starts. AIBU to stay sitting, holding her, knowing she is fed, clean and rested and just let her cry? She sounds so distressed but I can't walk around on stop .

Of course YABU - you're the grown up and she's only 5 months old - why wouldn't you do something that you know soothes her?!

If you stood up and cuddled her you might have more chance of getting her to settle quickly instead of leaving her to cry and getting angry or wound up about it while listening to her

However sometimes you just have to walk away which I admit, I did while mentally torturing myself and I'd always go back to them after I had calmed down. Mine had reflux and it was really hard work.

I think I did this for maybe 3 days then realised my back wouldn't take it and ds and I had to figure it out on the sofa.

If you're holding her while she's crying, you're not really doing 'cry it out'. I'm pretty sure the studies that found raised stress levels in crying babies didn't find them when baby was being held. It's not like you're putting her down in her cot and leaving her to cry.

My 15 week DS will go to sleep if I stand and rock him but his eyes pop open the minute I sit down, so I know how tiring it is. He also really likes vigorous knee-bouncing rocks! Have you tried using a sling to give your arms (if not your legs) a rest? Or a yoga ball to give your legs a rest? Sometimes when DS cries inconsolably it's cause he needs to be sick, or sometimes it's because he's overtired. If it's the latter, I've found trying to start rocking him to sleep when he first seems tired can help.

Oh also, sometimes wrapping him up and going for a walk outside works too - the fresh air normally stops him crying for long enough to realise he's not actually unhappy about anything.

We slogged it out with tiger in a tree position perched on the arm of the sofa

All four of mine did this. No reason, just being babies. Frustrating for you but it will pass. Try ignoring it and singing to her, clapping and making lots of happy eye contact. If you need to get on with things a sling (try Tula) is a godsend! Good luck and congratulations (albeit belatedly) on your gorgeous baby!

Babies are such funny little fuckers darlings, aren't they? My daughter did this. I now have legs like a rugby player's from all the standing, bouncing and rocking.

She also had colic and reflux.

I used to put mtv on and get through it one music video at a time. Took my mind off the crying and the sore muscles.

Chin up, op. It won't be forever.

I couldn't stand/walk for too long so had to sit. Eventually she got the message & reconciled to it. Took a few days & I was as gentle & calm as I could be.

Five months is too long to leave to cry even if you think this is ok. Try the gym ball idea. Babies cry, they need adults for comfort, it is nature. It is hard but it will pass. Cuddle your baby and think about how you will miss it when the baby is bigger.

This is a bit of a horrible way to think- but- sometimes when my baby screams at night and I am exhausted and feel like I can't handle it I think about how I would feel if something happened to him. I then realise if I didn't have him I would give anything to spend every night walking around the room with him crying and screaming! And then I cuddle him again and don't mind anymore.

Sorry I meant five months is too young not too long!

Get a sling. My 8 month old still does this occasionally when she's tired but refusing to sleep. It saves your arms even if your back is wrecked.

Why are people suggesting colic like it's a "thing"? It's not a medic condition in its own right, it's just a list of symptoms (i.e. crying a lot).

Anyway OP if I were you I'd look into ways you can recreate the movement without having to constantly walk and jiggle around with the baby. Yoga ball, swing chair, bouncy chair, sling. Whatever works really.

My DD particularly likes bouncing when she's overtired (makes no sense to me, babies are weird) so worth considering. Although you said the baby is like this when just woken from a nap so maybe it's not that in your case.

My DD particularly likes bouncing when she's overtired (makes no sense to me, babies are weird)

What do you think it feels like to a baby in the womb when it's mother walks? Did you never notice that your baby was still while you were active and as soon as you stop it's like a disco in there? Babies sleep when their mothers are moving around. So that's what helps them sleep when they're out. They're also bombarded with sound, hence putting them flat in a cot or Moses basket in a silent room often doesn't work.

Yanbu to do what you suggest in your op.
Think some people simply read your title and nothing more.
Ignore sarcy comments.
You're not leaving your baby 'to cry it out' you're simply not standing up with her.
Not everybody would be able to hold their baby standing up, people find other ways.
Get little one checked over to see if there are other things causing distress just incase.

Don't let her cry it out, it is cruel.

She may wish you to hold her body like you do when you are standing, stretchered out more, to help with colic. Sorry if this has been said before. Can you do that sitting down?

Speak to your health visitor or Gp for assistance.

I've not read the whole thread and expect someone has said what I said but did not want to ignore your post.

All the best.

Wow there are some unpleasant judge'y know-it-alls on this thread. I presume their children didn't cry.

OP, I've not really got any advice. I sometimes left mine to cry a bit, they seemed to survive OK. I think standing up with the baby all the time sounds like it would do your back in and be exhausting. It's in your baby's best interest that you don't damage your back. If I were you I wouldn't stand up just to stop the baby crying.

But as others have said, if you are with her she is not really crying it out.

XXX All the best, it is so hard. Get help.

If you are sitting with her, be careful, falling asleep on a sofa or in an arm chair with baby can be dangerous. But you will be tired. If you feel really sleepy you must put her down safety and you sleep.

I'm not judging the op, I am offering advice. I never left my baby to cry it out but I am not sure the OP is really suggesting that. I think she needs to get the help with colic or whatever is causing this.

Good luck OP, this phase does change. Honestly things get better but do get some help. XXX

Hi OP you must be exhausted . My son was similar and I did the sling thing but when my legs were ready to turn to jelly I sat in the rocking chair and it worked a treat especially if I hummed so he got the vibrations from my chest. Good luck and ignore any judgey comments.

Computer: That's what I keep wondering! Colic just means unexplained crying that happens all the time, doesn't it?

This is a phase and it will pass. My Dd2 did this for a few weeks but now it's gone. If you can bear the crying then go for it, I found it easier to do what she wanted to stop her getting overly distressed ( and therefore harder to settle). Good luck

I would never have let my DC cry themselves to sleep when they were babies, They just got more and more frantic, forgetting what they were crying for in the first place and simply crying because they felt upset.

However, your baby is asking the impossible of you, so you're going to have to let her cry. You are going to stay with her, comforting her though, aren't you?