To let my baby cry it out?

[ConstanceAndTheElephant]

My five month old DD gets these moods where she wants to be held by someone STANDING UP. The person has to be standing up. If they sit down with her she'll scream uncontrollably. She can be just fed, winded, fresh from a nap, clean nappy - I.e. no other reason for her to cry, it's just that she INSISTS on her grown up being stood up. As soon as you stand up she stops crying, as soon as you sit down she starts. AIBU to stay sitting, holding her, knowing she is fed, clean and rested and just let her cry? She sounds so distressed but I can't walk around on stop .

My son was the same it was colic at first, then I guess habit for us both. Truly I think at 5 months you should indulge the need and if it's colic work on settling in other ways once that has passed. 5 months is too tiny to just 'let cry' and it won't do you much good to hear constant crying either.

Mine did this for a while - had to be held in out stretched arms, while stood up. I don't think she had colic or anything I think it was to do with she likes the weight of her body dangling down, or she felt scrunched up when sat down. We took turns to hold her but do what you need to do.

Crying in arms isn't the same as cry it out.
I think it's ok to explain mummy can't keep standing but will sit and hold instead.

We got a jumparoo which we could put him for a few minutes at a time, which would at least let me quickly get a few bits done.

Mr Elbows built an entire kitchen with dd in one of those back pack things when she was about the same age. She had to be upright and only daddy was good enough. Definitely worth trying a sling or one of those jumpy things for a wee bit if she's got enough physical stability for it.

Crying holding them isn't cry it out - cio is basically leaving them to it. I have hip and back problems that mean I cant carry my son for more than a few minutes so I can't walk round carrying him. I often sit holding him with him facing me with his legs on either side
Try the gym ball. Try turning the lights on and walking round the house to break her out of the crying. Have a check up at the docs to rule out physical causes

Aw, it's exhausting. It's a very normal phase. Hug her, or give her to another loving adult to hug. If you need to have a minute to yourself before going crazy, then you can. Then go back to hug her.

Many many babies have an altitude sensor.

Readjustment of perspective required, not leaving a little baby to cry it out.

She'll almost certainly grow out of it, my DS did. It's generally a tummy thing, trapped wind or constipation. Talk to your HV but it may be that you're stuck with it. Try hoiking her further up on your shoulder and bounce gently, massaging her tummy with your shoulder.

Try to bear in mind what we were told in NCT: babies have no wants, only needs.

I know it's really tough but if it's what she needs, that may just be what she needs.

Chin up OP, it won't be forever

Sounds similar to my DS when he was suffering with colic and silent reflux. Maybe ask your GP for advice and either infant gaviscon or colief drops. I think people assume colic is a new born baby thing but my DS was on medication for it until 9 months!

Dd 9 months is the same always has been.
She's 19 pounds now and killing my back.
Hope your ok op,

Fate. Your rude. Not every baby issue is over tiredness either

Timetogrowup?

ConstanceAndTheElephant

Have you tried a dummy?
Could baby be hungry? (Growth spurt)
Is baby getting enough daytime sleep?
Could baby be in pain?
Have you considered allergies? Some thing like cows milk protein allergy?
Have you considered a balance issue? I recall from biology that altitude sensors are something to do with the inner ear
Actually - what about an ear infection?

Honestly, babies don't just cry for no reason. It might be a reason you can't immediately solve and I get that is exausting and wears you down. It might be something that you don't realise until years (and subsequent children) later when you can look back with hindsight.

Maybe you've got a light sleeper.
Maybe he's got an ear infection or cold
Maybe he needs closeness and movement to feel comforted.
Maybe he fights sleep
Maybe has allergies that make him feel crappy.

It's hard work and will inevitably involve tears (from everyone!), but there will be things you could try to at least work towards a more sustainable way of soothing him. Just leaving him to cry isn't the answer. I suspect you knew that any way.

Mine 3rd did exactly the same, as soon as I sat on the sofa she'd scream the place down, once I stood up - silence. The best thing I did was get a sling. She loved it and although she would still occasionally cry when I sat down and she was in the sling, it became less frequent. My DH worried that she would become too needy just for me and because she was in the sling so much, she was a slightly more clingy to me, to it honestly didn't last that long. They grow so quickly you'll be wishing they were small enough to cuddle or be in a sling again in no time. Good luck OP

sorry op but we had this too, and just slogged it out.

I stood and bounced for about a year.
Got a well fitting sling, found a position that didn't hurt my back and began counting steps on a pedometer as a way of not losing the will to live.

My thighs were pretty toned by the end of the period of torture little phase.

can you find a position perching on the edge of something where she is still in the same position as when you stand and you get a bit of relief.

letting them cry is terrible for everyone concerned, standing up constantlysounds really tough so finding a creative solution is a must, though they do say it improves after 6 months. it did with dd.

I don't think op is wanting to just leave her to it though? My reading is that she just can't stand and rock the baby, she needs to sit? She's still cuddling and soothing, just not standing as she does so.
Could it be wind? I know when I hold ds standing up it seems to stretch him out more and he often farts. Maybe try a little bowel yoga: lay them on their back and gently bicycle the legs, then hold the ankles together and circle, pressing the knees gently into the tummy at the top (Google it.)
Sympathies op, 💐 Rule out a physical cause and try the gym ball

Yes I'd say ywbu. Ds went through this phase, and is big. He grew out of it pretty quickly. Introduce another way of soothing, I would sing and rock, and keep trying with sitting down. Best position was him facing me directly.

It is hard but she's still tiny.

Sounds like colic or silent reflux. Google Dr. Harvey Karpp. He has some YouTube videos with settling techniques for colicky babies.

Both my boys were the same although DS1 was worse. Ds2 is generally only like this between his last nap and bedtime and I think it is tiredness or just had enoughness! We have a really good picture on our wall that looks like a magic eye picture, both babies love looking at it and DH stands on the sofa with one leg resting on the back of the sofa so DS2 can see it. Works a treat everytime. Babies are funny and you do whatever works to stop the crying! It's a phase OP honestly it will get better you just have to do what you can in the meantime.

This is common but exhausting.

Get an audiobook that you can listen to, and a sling. Helps numb the boredom of walking around endlessly. Do stretches/other light exercise. Put your laptop up on a shelf/similar head height surface so you can use it standing up. Or a rocking chair as others have said.

Sending strength. Babies are so tiring!

It sounds like this is causing you a real struggle and YANBU to put baby down and look after your own health.

Unlike Fate and crew, scientists who study this issue have found that no harm comes to babies who cry it out.

www.health.harvard.edu/blog/new-study-says-okay-let-babies-cry-night-201605319774#

That isn't cry it out though - cry it out is shutting the door and coming back in the morning (horrendous.) That study looks at controlled crying, which is returning to soothe during short periods of crying. Very different.
But that's not what op is asking - she's asking if there's a difference standing or sitting holding the baby, and effectively how to soothe the baby while sitting. I've found this myself - I can't carry or use a sling due to spd that never resolved.

can I just say as well that FATE has given me some sterling advice re:sleep and been very supportive over the past few months. (Little chap is cutting ANOTHER six teeth and sleep totally hellish once more, the joy...)

I agree with ThinkOfTheMouse, try the gym ball. My DD was exactly the same but relaxed a bit when I bounced with her on the gym ball. Baby massage also helped. She had colic and reflux as a tiny baby which we've since discovered was down to an intolerance to cows' milk

Ooops, ThinkOfTheMice, sorry! New round here