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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be concerned that this child was able to leave the school

54 replies

bookeatingboy · 14/11/2016 12:07

At dts's primary school they line up in the playground and CT's lead them into their respective classes. Head usually (not everyday) stands at gate.

I always wait in the playground as dts1 has ASD, so I need to see him go into class. Coming out of playground when I see a child from dt1's class darting across the playground in the direction of the exit gate (only one way in/out). This child has behavioural problems and special needs (although not sure what type). He ran straight past head who was having a laugh with a pregnant mum.

I'm pretty sure that due to my own personal circumstances I'm more tuned in to seeing this type of thing because of dts1 and having to have eyes in the back of my head but it would appear that I was the only person noticing him. I followed him out the gate and he went darting down the street at which point I ran back into school to alert them but head had gone in, ran to the office to tell them and came straight again. He was walking down the busy road and any attempts to call him were met with "fuck off"!

Not one person came out from the school and thankfully by the time he had got to the end of the road his dad came walking in the other direction. He too was met with a mouthful of abuse and at this point I left them too it.

Now I've come home concerned that firstly no one from school came out when I alerted them and secondly how the hell did all of the CT's not see him running towards the gate. I know it's busy but I saw him quite clearly and although he's YR4, he is very small so only looks YR2 at most.

OP posts:
fishandlilacs · 14/11/2016 12:11

maybe he had permission to walk home from his parent?

Duckyneedsaclean · 14/11/2016 12:13

Think this was morning, fish

Trifleorbust · 14/11/2016 12:13

You don't know the detail here or the background. Perhaps they tried to stop him inside. Perhaps (and it sounds like this is the case) he can be aggressive. Do you expect staff to physically prevent him from leaving the premises?

Moaningmyrtille · 14/11/2016 12:14

Nobody can leave their class at short notice like that. Who would watch the other 29 kids? Office staff probably called the dad who you saw walking back towards school. Also, it might not be the first time.

Otherwise if someone was available then yes they should have at least followed him to make sure he didn't get run over.

Underchipsandpeas · 14/11/2016 12:15

I'd be hugely concerned about this too and would raise it with the head as a safeguarding issue.

bookeatingboy · 14/11/2016 12:18

fish it was the morning so going into school not coming home.

OP posts:
YelloDraw · 14/11/2016 12:20

It is a school not a prison! If a kid is determined to walk out they can do. But would expect someone to at least be 'on' the situation.

Floggingmolly · 14/11/2016 12:23

He screamed Fuck off at anyone trying to call him back?? Maybe the reason his Dad met him on the road was because the Head had actually gone inside to phone and alert him?
They're not allowed to physically restrain aggressive pupils.

Trifleorbust · 14/11/2016 12:24

They may have called the parents right away. If a child is a regular absconder it often doesn't help to have staff chasing him down the road.

bookeatingboy · 14/11/2016 12:25

I guess I was shocked that no one came out from the school (the head was stood in the office when I went in) and I then felt obliged to stay where I could see him rather than get off, because he was being very erratic (running into the road and back on the path again).

Surely they have a duty of care regardless of any behavioural issues. He's only the size of a 6 year old for goodness sake.

OP posts:
RhodaBorrocks · 14/11/2016 12:26

YANBU about him not being seen sooner, but school staff cannot restrain chldren unless they've had specialist training and can only use reasonable force. A SN child having a metdown can be very strong and unrestrainable.

If he has an EHC plan then it may be in there that they are not to restrain him, but rather call his parents, which it sounds like what has happened as Dad met him. Its possible that when he runs he only ever goes home, so they may be well used to the situation.

Goingtobeawesome · 14/11/2016 12:29

I'm wondering if it would have been better to stay with him and ring the school to let them know he had left the school.

Trifleorbust · 14/11/2016 12:30

OP, the problem is that coming out wouldn't change the child's intention to abscond. Are they supposed to follow him all the way home? Once he has decided he isn't going to follow instruction, there is literally nothing the staff can do.

bookeatingboy · 14/11/2016 12:31

Sadly I'm fully aware of how unpredictable a child with SN's can be, having a ds with ASD. Even so I would hate the thought that ds was just left on a busy road alone when having a meltdown until I got there.

OP posts:
fuzzyfozzy · 14/11/2016 12:32

It can also be school policy not to follow/chase students when they've left school grounds. What happens if they had an accident running away. We used to ring police or parents depending on the child/family.

bookeatingboy · 14/11/2016 12:33

going I did try (several times) to ring the school but no one was picking up, despite the fact that when I ran to the office the head and two office staff were chatting.

OP posts:
Stanky · 14/11/2016 12:35

It sounds like a very difficult situation. If that child had come to any harm, people would be crying out asking what the school were doing, where were the teachers and where were the parents?

I'm glad that you spotted him and raised the alarm. Anything could have happened.

NicknameUsed · 14/11/2016 12:38

Are you saying in your OP that the dad was met with a mouthful of abuse from the son? Or was the dad rude to you?

bookeatingboy · 14/11/2016 12:39

Okay, it would appear most think IABU to expect the school to have done more. It has certainly made me think about how safe ds is in school. I do stay with him until he goes into class though and am always there waiting at pick up. Gates are locked at all other times so perhaps this boys parents were at fault for just leaving him in the line and going home.

Maybe I was wrong to stand and watch him? I just couldn't leave once it was clear no one was coming out of school.

OP posts:
supercaliforniasurfer · 14/11/2016 12:41

i also think the advice is often not to chase as this can cause them to run faster/into the road. I am sure the school have procedures to follow, however it does sound like they could do with having someone at the gate.

bookeatingboy · 14/11/2016 12:41

nickname The father was met with abuse from the boy! Once the father was there I got straight off.

OP posts:
HorridHenrietta2 · 14/11/2016 12:42

Op I can't comment on this situation, it could have been a safeguarding issue but the fact that dad quickly appeared would suggest they have an agreed strategy in place.

Just wanted to answer the people saying that school staff are not allowed to restrain aggressive children.
Yes they are if they are putting themselves or others in danger.
Almost all schools nowadays have a restraint policy and regular training. They don't need individual permission off parents though. All other avenues will be tried first (hopefully) but ultimately if they need to restrain for safety then they can.

NicknameUsed · 14/11/2016 12:44

It sounds like there are some behavioural issues with the boy. I expect the school rang him then.

llangennith · 14/11/2016 12:44

YANBU. At our primary school he would've been told to come back and then followed. The Headteacher needs to be made aware of your concerns, and safeguards put in place so everyone knows what to do if it happens again.

user1477282676 · 14/11/2016 12:45

Why did you "follow him out of the gate" and then once he'd gone and "darted off" did you only then go back to the office?

If he went out before you, wouldn't the appropriate action have been to immediately call out to the Head?

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