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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think ex is a cheeky bastard?

76 replies

ElectricMelon · 12/11/2016 15:23

My best friend came over this morning and we took Dd to the Christmas Market in my town centre. Dd's dad was due to pick her up at 12 so I text and said can you pick her up from X as we aren't near home. I knew he would be taking Dd to the market so thought it would be easier for him anyway.

He said yes but OW will be with me. I assumed that anyway as I know they are a couple (he left me for her two weeks before I have birth to, now 3 year old, Dd so it isn't a recent thing) and they live together so obviously I knew she would be with him. I text back 'okay' as I didn't see the issue; I'm a grown up and I expect to have to see her at some point.

I have begrudgingly accepted that she is a part of Dd's life now and I just have to lump it and I am not interested in causing grief with her.

I have only ever been face to face with her once about 18 months ago as I walked past their car and she was in it. I waved and said 'hiya' and she slid down in the seat and hid behind her scarf. Seeing what an absolute coward she is made me feel tonnes better about the whole thing actually and I felt like the better person after 18 months of being made to feel like the horrible one in it all.

He turned up to collect Dd and OW was nowhere to be seen. She had hid around the corner like the coward she is and daren't even face me. She is okay to play happy families with Dd and trying to get Dd to call her mummy etc but she doesn't have the backbone to face me after 3 bloody years.

We went the opposite way to where she was hiding to avoid any awkwardness and also because we wanted to circle the stalls again to have a proper child free look at stuff. I wasn't bothered about him or her and honestly was glad to be free of a tired, morngy Dd and enjoy the market!

About twenty minutes later we went to a tapas place for some dinner and I got a text from ex saying:

'Are you staying around town because it isn't fair on us if you are. It isn't fair on Dd if we are both around town because she will want to come home with you and OW feels uncomfortable'

Hmm

I ignored the text obviously as what I do in my child free time is fuck all to do with him and I am not being made to feel like I shouldn't be allowed to walk around my own bloody town centre because of how OW feels! I felt uncomfortable at the thought of seeing them playing happy families with Dd but I had on my big girl knickers and just ignored it! We are all adults and should be able to be in the same bloody town centre ffs.

I can't believe the cheek of him. I wouldn't dream of texting him if I felt uncomfortable, I would just go home if I was that bothered.

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 12/11/2016 16:10

Yes, please speak to your ex re ow trying to get your DD to call her mummy. That would seriously boil my piss, she can fuck off with that. I would have deliberately made an effort to find her and force her to be a grown up by communicating like adults.

Notsurewhy2020 · 12/11/2016 16:10

Do you think she feels (misplaced) guilt/jealousy? But, even so, it's not as if you've had an easy time of it.

Shelvesoutofbooks · 12/11/2016 16:12

"Oh too bad, well if OW feel uncomfortable, tell her to go home"

Agerbilatemycardigan · 12/11/2016 16:21

So, not only was she shagging your ex while you were pregnant with his child and then expects your DD to refer to her as 'mummy', she also expects you to become invisible just to make her feel comfortable. Fuck that!

pieceofpurplesky · 12/11/2016 16:28

I hope they didn't have the conversation in front of your DD. What a stupid woman

ElectricMelon · 12/11/2016 16:33

Notsurewhy2020 I hope it's guilt but I honestly think she's just really childish

OP posts:
ThoraGruntwhistle · 12/11/2016 16:37

'Amazed to hear that OW is still so ashamed of the way you both behaved when I was pregnant that she can't stand me being in town at the same time as you both, but I have no intention of letting you tell me where I can go. Fuckety bye!'

Not really. Ignoring it was definitely the best thing to do.

ElectricMelon · 12/11/2016 16:40

pieceofpurplesky they walked past the tapas bar about an hour later and looked to be having cross words with one another so it wouldn't surprise me. They once split up because he cheated (shocking) and he took Dd over to clearly try and get back in her good books (essentially using Dd) and they had a massive argument in front of her with OW screaming at him to get out and get that child out of her house. Dd told me everything that OW had said (she went on about it for weeks as it clearly upset her) and that daddy had told her not to tell mummy. He denied it all though and said Dd was making it up Hmm

OP posts:
fishonabicycle · 12/11/2016 16:40

Send back a LOL.

SabineUndine · 12/11/2016 16:41

I would reply:

"Tough shit."

What a couple of twats!

Farmmummy · 12/11/2016 16:45

Proudbadmum I think I love you! My turn next just about finished me off! That response is the best ever. Although to be fair the way you've handled it is the correct way but still...

AmeliaJack · 12/11/2016 16:46

If this is a long term relationship would it be worth meeting the OW for coffee or something.

Hiding from you really can't go on.

EverySongbirdSays · 12/11/2016 16:47

Send back a picture of Mel Gibson in Braveheart

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MY FREEDOM!

GabsAlot · 12/11/2016 16:48

what a twat i got abuse off dh's ex but just avoided her u cant tell someone where they can and cant go

Soubriquet · 12/11/2016 16:48

Songbird Grin

GabsAlot · 12/11/2016 16:50

amelia why should she shes tried saying hello the woman ignores her

ElectricMelon · 12/11/2016 16:53

EverySongbirdSays Grin

I'm crying with laughter at all these sarcy replies

OP posts:
EweAreHere · 12/11/2016 16:54

Sounds like they deserve each other, pair of jack***.

You are well rid.

And I hope you took your time shopping in town.

pugsake · 12/11/2016 17:03

God your more mature then me.

When DD2's dad's latest one tried getting DD to call her mammy (she's 3 with developmental delay and a speech problem) I was not amused and that's putting it mildly.

I made her cry

Ignore them they are knobs. I need to take my own advice Grin

Shelvesoutofbooks · 12/11/2016 18:22

Send him this
media0.giphy.com/media/JEJYvwfHmBlgQ/giphy.gif

leaveittothediva · 12/11/2016 18:30

That beggars belief, he left you pregnant to be with her, wtf, that's not enough, now you have to be fucking invisible and all, uncomfortable, I'd give her uncomfortable. Cheeky baggage. Karma needs to get her.

Trifleorbust · 12/11/2016 18:44

A picture of a giant chicken is the only appropriate response here.

Happymumof3tob · 12/11/2016 18:57

Well done OP i cant bite my tongue so i would have told him where to shove it. But looks like he shoves it in many places.... so it doesnt need to be said

Patriciathestripper1 · 12/11/2016 19:00

You did right thing, I'm not do mature I would have Text back it's nothing to how uncomfortable I felt pregnant and alone when she walked away with you.
Tell her if she thinks she's grown up enough to play mum than she's grown up enough to see me in public. If she didn't like it then you are both free to go home.
He sounds a proper dick you. Well rid

ElectricMelon · 12/11/2016 19:33

He just dropped Dd off and I was given the silent treatment. It was lovely Grin

I am fully expecting a shitty text before the evening is over though

OP posts:
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