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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or is everyone dealing with pond life every time they leave the house?

75 replies

Funnyface1 · 11/11/2016 16:59

Sick of crap inconsiderate people. It seems to be everyday now. A child in my child's class was sick yesterday and went home. Today he's there in class, despite the schools 48 hour symptom clear rule. I asked a teacher and she basically said his mother had dumped him and gone before they could tackle her about it. I can easily believe this as the poor child is routinely spoken to like crap by his mother as he races to keep up with her with his clothes always hanging off him.

I've got a newborn at home and would ideally like to avoid a sickness bug in the house. Is it too much to ask that she takes the time to look after the poor little guy.

Also in brief, guy parking and blocking me in at petrol station when he didn't need to. Guy cutting in front of me at the shop checkout. People driving like lunatics.

I cod go on. It's just seemed like an especially crap day. But then again I am emotional right now.

Am I right and reasonable or whiny and unreasonable?

OP posts:
Namechangeemergency · 12/11/2016 08:13

Jeez, let the OP have a vent.

Being busy is not an excuse to break the 48 hour rule. We are all busy.

'pond life' is just a phrase and its a hell of a lot milder than some of the 'hilarious' ones used regularly on MN to describe people going about their business in a way many MN don't approve of e.g naming their children Dontay, letting their kids eat sausages and posting photos of piles of presents on FB.

OP the things you describe are annoying but mostly every day things. Sounds like you are bunching them together so they are morphing into one, massive nasty thing.

I do that when I am not at my best.

Don't underestimate the affect the anniversary of the loss of your sister will have on you. Anniversaries are sneaky and they creep up on us. We think we are 'fine' yet odd things get to us, people upset us and the world seems a horrible place.

Take care of yourself Flowers

dailymaillazyjournos · 12/11/2016 08:26

No, generally I am more aware of how nice most people are. People who shout after me to say Ive dropped something, those who insist I go first in a queue because they think I was before them even when it's unclear. People who just smile for no reason. The busy supermarket security guy who always stops to chat to toddler dgd and gives her a high five. The people on buses who help get the pushchair off. The people who let me out of the insanely busy turn on to the road at end of my street. I could go on.

But on the other hand I'm older and no longer looking after children regularly, doing school runs and trying to get them to school and myself off to work etc etc. I think the more busy and stressful life is, the less time and patience you have for the everyday irritations. But I totally see your point about the potentially noro infected class member, esp if you have a small baby at home.

youarenotkiddingme · 12/11/2016 08:43

I think when you're having "one of those days" it's easier to see the wrong going in around you.

But it's always going on.

Everyone has differe ing standards and moral codes of conduct. As long as it's a legal code we have to live and let live.
Even SS don't get involved in 'standards' cases unless the child is in actual danger.

I also agree with the poster ^^ who said about a one off chunder

I've been ill this week with cystitis and fever. Pain got worse and temp reaching high 39 - I was sick once. But I knew it wasn't a stomach bug. I went to work next day and saw GP at the end of the day and it's a kidney infection. So although I am actually quite ill I'm not contagious!

SirChenjin · 12/11/2016 08:51

Name - well said

Headofthehive55 · 12/11/2016 08:55

Do you know that to be classed as diarrhoea you need to have had three loose stools in 24hrs?

Unfortunately my child was sent home for the expected 48hr this week because he had a loose stool and got some on his trousers. "He was sick" no not at all. It's one thing to have your child at home if they are really sick but all too often our school send them home when there is no proper evidence.

justanothermnuser · 12/11/2016 08:56

Yep, I work in retail and people think they're entitled to talk to me like I am shit. I'm sorry for my language but I had a difficult day yesterday :(

Fairybella · 12/11/2016 09:05

Op I'm totally with you... people are selfish and if a small baby gets sick it could end in hospital treatment.
busy people or not still need to look after their sick children.

The80sweregreat · 12/11/2016 09:15

People are selfish, but i try to do little good deeds , hold the door open for folk, let the woman in the queue with two items go in front of me with my 20 items, always say please and thanks, put the trolley back in the right place in the car park..small things, however, i bet ive sometimes let the door go behind me by accident and had a stare off someone who thinks im a bitch, it happens! I hate intolence but when you see it around you its hard not to get down. There will always be the me , me, me ones. They seem to get on better in life in my exoerience sometimes! ( another thread there i think) . I agree, it isnt great and driving standards have dropped a lot too.

coffeetasteslikeshit · 12/11/2016 09:17

I clicked on this thread to say that yes, I found some toads in the front garden this week, complete with spawn. But I see you mean something else by pond life....

ExcuseMyEyebrows · 12/11/2016 09:32

Ha OP, you would have got completely different responses had you posted on this thread! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2777463

IminaPickle · 12/11/2016 09:37

Resilience my love Flowers.
Most days I wouldn't notice, let alone take personally those events.
You're grieving, and however wonderful your baby is you're a maelstrom of hormones and tiredness. Look after yourself.

woodhill · 12/11/2016 09:52

There are some lovely people though. Woman apologised for tooting at me by accident and I was appreciative but then a stupid man hooted me when I was carefully about to start turning left at the petrol forecourt (one way) even though he was driving in the wrong direction.

SirChenjin · 12/11/2016 11:52

I find a toot back and a cheery wave always confuses the tooters - very satisfying Grin

JellyBelli · 12/11/2016 11:56

Selfish, malicious and entitled seems to be the default setting these days and even saying that I sound like my fucking parents.

woodhill · 12/11/2016 12:35

Great advice sir

WankingMonkey · 12/11/2016 12:39

I hate when people send obviously ill kids into school. Yes, it may be more convenient for you but chances are you are making other kids ill through your selfishness.

On the other hand, my daughter went through a period of illnesses a year or so ago, during which we had to keep her off as she was in hospital and when she had bugs we kept her off for 2 days too as per the rules. And the school started bitching on about her attendance Hmm

There is a mother at my sons school who continually sends her ill child in. She can't even use the 'I have work' excuse (though thats unfair too...as other parents also have work when your child infects them...).

WankingMonkey · 12/11/2016 12:47

Posted before finishing that. Because she 'brags' about how she doesn't 'need to work' as the childs father is loaded. Which is odd in itself. She talks to anyone within a 20 meter radiance about how well off she is and how pampered a life she leads Hmm Yet cannot look after her ill child and instead dumps them on school staff and in turn spreads the illness around everyone else. Made a bit worse by there being a child with a compromised immune system in my childs class so we are expected to stick rigidly to 48 hour rules and get regular letters about it.

WLF46 · 12/11/2016 13:01

It's all very well having a pop at other people for being inconsiderate, but there are probably plenty of people who get irritated by what you do too.

The guy who cut into the queue - perhaps he didn't notice you? Did you say "excuse me, I was here first" or did you just accept it? I once cut in accidentally because the real queue was hiding up a supermarket aisle, and the person at the front was leaving a huge gap (well over 5 metres). Nobody said anything either, I only realised when I turned round to find everyone glaring at me! It's unusual for people to genuinely, blatantly cut in when they know they're in the wrong. Did you both arrive in the queue at more or less the same moment? Or was it the sort of place where there are separate queues for self-service and for attended checkouts, and he didn't realise there was another queue? You've not given enough information.

The man who blocked you in "when he didn't need to" - perhaps there was an emergency? What did you do to make him aware of the fact he was blocking you in? How do you know that he knew that you couldn't get out? As for people driving like lunatics, if they are jumping traffic lights or breaking the law, make a note of their number and report them to the police.

Unfortunately, when you send your child to school, them catching an illness off another pupil is par for the course. I can assure you that your own child will pass an infection onto someone else at some point during their time at school, and no doubt their parents will be bemoaning what a selfish parent you are for sending your child in sick.

You say that "you're not openly crap to people" - well, good! But what about all the people you are accidentally crap to?

As a rule, when people complain that others are being selfish, it is usually the complainer themselves that is being selfish. "Mr X didn't do what I wanted, he's being selfish." "Ms Y couldn't come out for a drink after work, she was too busy to come out with us." You are disappointed that people didn't do what you wanted, you are just as selfish as they are.

You say you've abandoned this thread because people are judging you. You asked whether you're being unreasonable, and you got a variety of answers. What were you expecting, everyone to say "yup, the world's full of cunts"? Well, here you go: the world is full of cunts. But even the nicest, most well-meaning person out there will, at some point, do something, completely inadvertently, that leads them to appear selfish in the eyes of others. And you know what? They won't even know they've done it.

Finola1step · 12/11/2016 13:06

I clicked on this thread expecting to read posts similar to my experience of finding the odd frog or toad in my front garden.

wanders off

Finola1step · 12/11/2016 13:07

X post Coffee

itsmine · 12/11/2016 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyWineTime · 12/11/2016 13:50

Going up escalaters behind someone with a huge backpack so you can't see around them, and then when they hesitate or decide to hover they don't even apologise when they cause you to fallS
Surely that's down to you to give people a bit more space. Unless they have started walking backwards, they haven't caused you to fall!

My general rule of thumb is that if 2 or more people piss me off before 10 in the morning then I'm the problem.
I think those are very wise words. Sometimes we just seem to have the ability to FIND people to piss us off. Some people have a very advanced ability to do this.
If you leave the house expecting to find "pond life" (horrid term), then I suspect you are going to bring out the worst in people and notice lots of things you can complain about.

Only superior in the sense that I am not rude to people and feel I am a considerate person
But you are rude ABOUT other people and you don't consider what might be going on beyond what you see and judge.

Have a rant by all means, but try to maintain perspective. You are having a crap time at the moment, that is colouring how you see the world.

TheLegendOfBeans · 12/11/2016 15:41

Have a rant by all means, but try to maintain perspective.

This is AIBU. There's no room for considered perspective!

FWIW, it's obvious the OP was stressed and just wanting a megavent. That appears to be a concept a serious amount of folk haven't grasped.

Again though, '''tis AIBU.

SirChenjin · 12/11/2016 15:47

Yep - the stock answer on AIBU is yes, regardless of how unreasonable the subject of the vent is.

witsender · 12/11/2016 16:03

Where is the child's father?

Tbh, I am massively intolerant and an utter bitch on the inside. However, I am very aware of this, and try so hard to argue with my inner voice.

Or is everyone dealing with pond life every time they leave the house?
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