To not ask a child to my DD's birthday party

[Downwilson]

There are 12 girls in my DD2's Year 2 class at school. Her next birthday is coming up and she will be 7. For previous birthday parties I've sent invitations via the teacher to every child in the class.

Anyway, there is one particular parent who has ignored the last 2 invitations and her DD hasn't come (No apology, no text, no acknowledgement.Nothing) . The teacher assured me the invitations were put in the child's schoolbag.

I thought that maybe there was a good reason for this (rudeness) and put it down to some personal beliefs or previous commitments.

I know the mother vaguely and I've since been to parties of other children in the class and there she was with her DD.

So she's just a rude cow, who can't be arsed even acknowledging an invite.

So AIBU if I don't send an invitation to her DD for the next birthday party? It seems a bit unkind to not invite her daughter (who is not unfriendly with mine) but I'm just not sure how to handle it.

I'm just going to throw it out there... siblings attending who haven't been invited.

Ok picture the scene. You send out invites to your child's party. No one replies. No one comes. Their friends parents are busy, have other siblings, relatives etc. Your child is devastated and takes that experience with them into adult life.

ok extreme example but a reality if everyone took the "kids parties are not a priority for me" approach. We all have shit going on but in order for the wheels to turn the majority manage to at least let the hosts know their child won't be coming.

Please don't leave the little girl out. It isn't her fault and so upsetting to be the only one not invited. Agree mother is rude, just put RSVP by date, if no reply, try to ask her directly at drop off or ask anther parent for her number and text to check. After that assume she isn't coming and don't include when you confirm party numbers. If she does turn up, most venues would add one in but suspect she won't. Child will at least have felt included in invitations though. Hope your DD has a great party!

HanYOLO a text takes oh what 30 seconds?

I wouldn't exclude one child if I was inviting the whole class because I wouldn't want that child feeling upset by it. However, if it was just a selection of children then yes, I would definitely miss that child off the list. Sometimes I get the impression parents think they are doing you a favour by attending the party...if you can't come just RSVP and say it!

The child has no dad, a "rude" mother, is not not friends with your dd - to be the only girl not invited to your dd's party would be far meaner than the rudeness level of the mother not responding to an invite you can't be sure that she received OP.

"Sometimes I get the impression parents think they are doing you a favour by attending the party..."

I think parents who made the effort to reply, buy presents , organise party clothes, the invitee and their lives to attend a party to bring joy to my child were doing me a favour.

Ahh definitely invite her, it's not nice to be left out.

My son would lose his head if he could, had so many invites after the party or not at all!! I must look terribly rude 🙈

sj257 I'm sure the mums understand when you explain what happened and apologise. I hope you are working on harnessing better personal responsibility in your child.

Her behaviour regarding past parties was very rude. I can see exactly where you're coming from.

However, being a reasonable person will mean you will invite the child, because it would be unkind not to.

I would hand deliver the invite to the mum this year.