to not want my MIL to stay in our house without me?

[mummycarolyn]

My MIL is coming from abroad (US) to stay with us next week. She doesn't fly alone, so she's meeting my OH when he's on a business trip, and flying back with him. This is the first time she's meeting DS, and she's staying with us. I'm flying back to the US early for the holidays to be with my family and taking DS with me (on the 10th) and my OH is following on the (22nd). She wants to stay with my OH after DS and I leave. I'm a bit weirded out by it and uncomfortable. Is that wrong? I'd rather she fly back with DS and I.

YABU.

You should be glad of the break too.

Yes YABU.

You're all being a bit cruel. I'd be slightly uneasy with someone being in the house without us there (in the day).
BUT i'd give myself a big slap and get over it as wanting to spend time with your son is not odd. (The less said about my MIL, who turned up her nose when DH said he wanted to take her out for lunch just the two of them to celebrate his birthday and said it would be "boring", the better.)
Then i'd go buy a lockable filing cabinet...

Yes that's really unreasonable. Why do you think you feel that way?

Without further information about why it makes you uncomfortable, I'd have to say YABU.

What on earth is wrong with you?

Unless theres some massive back story (and I cant imagine what) you are being super weird and unreasonable.

also why the hell would you want the stress of flying solo with a baby and an ageing nervous flyer?

I presume it's your dh's house too? Why the heck can't he stay in his own home with his mum?

Okay, I get it. Back story is that MIL and I don't get along. And she is a very needy parent - 1 hr calls every day to husband. She still calls me or even MY mom if she can't get through to him one day in a panic. So I guess, I'm used to trying to put boundaries up all the time. But I guess I am being unreasonable. Thanks for your help!

Yeah, YABU. What a weird reaction.

Is it because she'll be alone in the house from 8am-8pm while your your DH is at work or something? I'm struggling to see what the problem is.

I think everyone is being a bit harsh. I'm guessing that maybe you are not working a this are about the house and spending time with mil whilst your dh is at work, and your uneasy about your mil roaming about your house and all your belongings for 12 days?

Tbf I would find someone having access to all my private things and having time to go snooping unsettling, so I don't think urbu, but on same note your mil might want some more time in uk to go sightseeing, see friends or something???

How fucking strange. She is staying with your husband, her son! Not on her own anyway. FFS some people on here are so odd.

Fast forward 30 years and your DIL doesn't want you yo spend time with your DS. Now ssk yourself the question!

This is a good point. Unless she has form for snooping round your stuff or stealing/destroying your belongings for fun, YABU. She's your husband's mum fgs. What if your husband refused to let your own mum or dad stay at the house when he wasn't there? You sound very controlling.

Ah. Why not leave her to turn up at his work for surprise lunches! Some peace for you quality mother-son time for them.

Don't think you're weird at all - I would feel my mil was invading my privacy but I guess it's unavoidable and you would be unreasonable to stop her staying.

She sounds like hard work but I still think YABU.

She's his mother and it is his home. Of course you are being unreasonable.

Very strange. Is she Mrs Snoopy Pants generally in other people's houses?

By that I mean does she snoop in other peoples houses?

Yanbu. I think people on this thread are being very unkind and unreasonable. I wouldn't want anyone apart from DH and DCs left unattended in my house. It would make me very uncomfortable. People have different thresholds for this sort of thing. Plus my MIL would have nosed through my drawers, rearranged the furniture, and done DH's washing 'properly' for him.

Yes YABU.

It's your DH's house too and it's not like she'll be there on her own having wild parties which is what I was imagining when I saw the title . Calling your DH every hour is weird, but it's your DH's issue to manage not yours.

I'm with pp - I'd love it if my MIL would come when I'm not at home, perfect scenario for me!

It's weird that some people on here are so hostile towards their MIL but often have no issue with inviting their own mothers to stay for weeks on end to help out with new babies or similar. What would you say if your husband said it made him 'uncomfortable'? Presumably you would tell him to fuck off.

So she's a bit clingy towards her son. That's not a crime is it? It sounds like she might be a generally nervous person (with the flying stuff) but there are worse things people can be guilty of. Try being more compassionate.

I wouldn't want anyone apart from DH and DCs left unattended in my house

Is it not your DH's house too? If your DH is away, does that mean you could never have any of your own relatives to stay, in case your DH didn't like it? What sort of state secrets do you have hidden away in your home that you think will be unearthed if a guest stays over?

What have you got to hide?