Vegetarian or not!!

[twocockersarebetterthanone]

We've invited my family for Christmas but one is a vegetarian. Now I've got no problem with that (and will cater accordingly) BUT she's said she eats fish. How the hell does that work? She's a veggie for animal welfare not Heath beliefs so how can she justify a fish, but not say a turkey, being killed to eat.

AIBU to want to (but obviously won't)!say you'll get what you're given. Just don't get it - someone please enlighten me!!

If you're ovo lacto vegetarian for ethical reasons you are kidding yourself if you think the egg and dairy industry are without cruelty.

Oh for goodness sake people, does it matter?

Yes.

Better ovo-lacto vegetarian than meat eater though, it's a sliding scale not a black and white all or nothing thing.

No Fleur, but she's half French and that half of her family think cooking a steak through renders it 'no longer meat'. Just messaged her, she had no idea pot noodles were vegetarian (just that they're easy and she likes them)so she's very happy!

Saranuff: what's a real vegetarian? In most of India people view western vegetarians as disgusting because they eat eggs. And across Asia (except China) veganism tends to be more socially accepted because it ties back to ancient religious customs in Buddhism/Hinduism.

There are accepted types of vegetarian:

Lacto-ovo-vegetarians eat both dairy products and eggs; this is the most common type of vegetarian diet. 

Lacto-vegetarians eat dairy products but avoid eggs. 


Ovo-vegetarian. Eats eggs but not dairy products. 


Vegans do not eat dairy products, eggs, or any other products which are derived from animals.

A pescetarian is not a type of vegetarian.

it's a sliding scale not a black and white all or nothing thing.

Exactly, so what is a 'proper' vegetarian?

Pretty much every thing I buy that I haven't sown, grown, prepared myself is going to be exploiting someone or the planet. Existing generally is very ecologically unsound. So if being ovo-lacto veggie is a choice I can live with then whoopie for me. If you need to be dismissive of that for some reason scenes then I am not going to get in your way, whatever makes you happy.

It pisses me off when people do it because it means that I get asked constantly ''Do you eat fish'' or if I ask for a vegetarian option while eating out I'm offered fish.

Why do some people need to know the motivation behind someone else's vegetarianism? If it's not a 'good enough' reason will you serve them chicken or something? Some meat eaters are really weird about it .

You could narrow things down to absolute vegetarianism. I mean goat's cheese is the number one dish on most veggie menus, but a huge number of billy goats are killed in order to cater for the industry.
If she doesn't want turkey, but fancies fish / something veggie then fine by me. If you can't do that then I don't see why she can't enjoy a plate of potato & veg... I think a compromise is easy to achieve.

I think we need to know when catering for 'vegetarians' is because if someone says they are vegetarian just because they don't like meat, they probably don't bother avoiding gelatine, or animal fat etc, so you don't need to go out of your way to ensure that there is no gelatine in the dessert, or make inferior roast potatoes because you can't use beef dripping or goose fat. Whereas an ethical vegetarian needs to be served actually vegetarian foods.

If someone is an irrational vegetarian you then need to have tedious conversations about whether fish/beef dripping/gelatine is or isn't suitable.

I was not being dismissive bigmouth, just wondering why it's not okay to eat a chicken, because it's, you know, got a face, but it's okay to eat eggs produced by an industry that minces surplus chicks.

Not having a go at you, just the santamonious 'proper' vegetarians.

Being vegetarian is not a sliding scale, I meant making choices for ethical/ecological/moral reasons is a sliding scale. So from my pov, being a pescetarian is a better choice than eating all meat. Eating high welfare responsible meat is a better choice than eating meat indiscriminately.

'I'm a pescatarian. Thats like a vegetarian, but I eat fish'.

There you go.

FleurThomas - are you being obtuse? Should I have said that I am not in India or SE Asia?

Her making the distinction between fish and turkey is similar to the distinction I presume you make between turkey and human. We all draw lines somewhere. Hers is at a different point on the scale. The cognitive capacity of a cod is very different from the cognitive capacity of a pig.

Why does it bother you so?

If my guests didn't eat parsnips I would think twice about it or serve them parsnips.

Yep she is a pescetarian not a vegetarian. It is one of my major bugbears

PegEgg, it's the using the term vegetarian that's the problem. It doesn't mean someone who eats fish, or turkey, or humans. It means someone who doesn't eat meat of any kind. So the OPs relative causes some small amount of confusion by using the term. Enough people do that, so it causes annoyance for vegetarians.

Sarasnuff - just giving you a bit of cultural perspective. I grew up in the UK & amongst a large Indian community where vegetarian=Non-egg eating, and egg-eating 'vegetarians' are looked down upon exactly how you guys are looking down on fish eating 'vegetarians'.

Fleur - you don't need to give me "cultural perspective". I am in the UK. I am talking about what the west considers vegetarian. I have lived in several SE Asian countries and travelled widely. You are talking bollocks.

Who's "looking down" on pescetarians? Just pointing out that they don't come under any reasonable definition of the word "vegetarian". Whereas lacto/ovo is a sub-type of vegetarian. Whether one section of lacto-vegetarians look down on lacto-ovo vegetarians is not relevant.

Surely any confusion is avoided by the clarifying "I am a vegatarian but I do eat fish."

Annoyingly this is just often easier. I always tell people I am pescatarian. I have previously been given meat as people mistakenly thought the term meant that I don't eat any fish at all. I have also just been given fish without accompaniment as the host thought I ONLY ate fish.

Some people are have never come across the word. It's hardly the fault of pescatarians if some uninformed/stupid people think vegetarians eat fish.

And you did question how she could justify eating fish but not turkey.

Sarasnuff - Now look who's talking bollocks. No way you lived in SE Asia unless, of course, you forgot how vegetarianism works there.

Not many people know the term "pescetarian" - sometimes it's easier to say vegetarian and eat fish

It might be easier for me to say I'm a supermodel, still doesn't make it true!