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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not give DH a lift

52 replies

golfbuggy · 08/11/2016 19:17

DH normally uses his motorbike to get to work, however there is an issue with the bike so he can't ride it at the moment. His workplace is about 10-15 minutes drive away in normal traffic; mine is very close to home.

On Monday we left at 7.55am so before the worst of the traffic and I'd dropped him off and was in my work for 8.30.

This morning he was faffing so we didn't leave until 8.05am - still managed to drop him off just after 8.20, but hit rush hour traffic going to my work place and it took me over 30 minutes to get to work which was obviously frustrating and meant I had to work late to make up the time.

Tomorrow the bike is going to be fixed but the bike shop (5 minute from home in the wrong direction) is not open until 8am, and he then has to book it in etc.so I'm expecting the traffic to be even worse than today. I've told him I'm not prepared to drive him and he can drive himself. He doesn't want to do this as it is a major hassle and expensive to find a parking space near his workplace, so is now planning to get the bus. The bus is notoriously unreliable (turns up very late or not at all) so I'm starting to feel a bit guilty about not taking him in. AIBU?

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 08/11/2016 19:37

A bit, it's only one more day'

Greengoddess12 · 08/11/2016 19:40

'Over 30 minutes to get to work?'

Lucky you. Take him he's your dh. It's one more day.

PurplePen · 08/11/2016 19:42

You are, yes.

Arfarfanarf · 08/11/2016 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NorksAreMessy · 08/11/2016 19:43

TAXI!!!

Clickncollect · 08/11/2016 19:46

Can you drop him off outside the shop early and he can amuse himself for a while before the shop opens?

GinAndOnIt · 08/11/2016 19:47

For one more day, just do it. I'd really appreciate DH doing this for me, so I'd expect to do it back.

user1478551766 · 08/11/2016 19:48

I can't imagine being so petty. He's your husband, its in the deal, doing stuff like this.

Clickncollect · 08/11/2016 19:49

Ah sorry, misread the Op. He still needs a lift after bike has been booked in.
It is annoying and I see where you are coming from but maybe suck it up for one more day and ensure he does the same for you one day.

MintyChops · 08/11/2016 19:50

I would do it, seems mean not to as it's just one day. Just tell him you need to make sure you leave on time.

e1y1 · 08/11/2016 20:16

I never understand posts like this (not just yours OP, from others too).

You are a married couple, (obviously when someone is taking the piss then you don't get walked over), but in normal day to day circumstances, you do each other favours.

So yes YABU, give your husband the lift.

ChuckGravestones · 08/11/2016 20:31

I don't understand. How can he drive himself if you are in the car driving to work?

Allthewaves · 08/11/2016 20:33

If yours is close to home can't he drop you off and take the car or you could walk?

arethereanyleftatall · 08/11/2016 20:34

I would do this for my dh without thinking twice. As would he for me.

HairyScaryMonster · 08/11/2016 20:35

Drive him to the shop early and let him get his own way to work.

golfbuggy · 09/11/2016 11:24

To clarify - giving him a lift (with the constraints of having to go to the bike shop etc) would make me an hour late for work (which is not in itself an issue as we have unofficial flexitime). He has a perfectly reasonable alternative to drive himself, but doesn't want to as parking is expensive and not close to his office.

My reasoning was that I sat in rush hour traffic for almost an hour yesterday (whereas my normal "commute" is 15 minutes walk) and then had to work late in order to take him to work (while he got to work on time) and it's his turn to suck up it being slightly less convenient.

I would normally walk to work so wouldn't use the car at all.

OP posts:
OohhThatsMe · 09/11/2016 11:28

If he can drive himself, he's completely unreasonable not to do it.

GinAndOnIt · 09/11/2016 11:32

But it's not like he's asking for lifts for the next six months. It's what..a total of three days? It might be less convenient than normal, but if you needed extra help for something, would you not want your husband to be a bit flexible and inconvience himself a bit?

DP helped me when my car was in for MOT on Monday. I could have walked back to the house and walked back to fetch car later (45 min walk each way maybe?) but DP drove there with me, dropped me home, collected me and then went back to work.

Another time, DP had a flat tyre when he went to set off for work, so I dropped him off instead so he didn't have to ask his boss to pick him up. It's just.....kind and helpful Confused

FetchezLaVache · 09/11/2016 11:35

I understand why he doesn't want to take the car if it's an expensive PITA parking near his work - can't he just call a taxi from the bike shop once he's finished booking it in? Seems unreasonable for you to have to hang round for him, then have to work late to make up time.

golfbuggy · 09/11/2016 11:35

It's the fact he is asking for a lift when he could drive himself because HE doesn't want extra hassle.

OP posts:
Ahickiefromkinickie · 09/11/2016 11:37

This morning he was faffing so we didn't leave until 8.05am

YANBU. He should not be faffing when you are doing him a good thing and he makes you late.

He can pay for parking. And the lazy gobshite can walk to work from the parking spot. How long is the walk?

Sparlklesilverglitter · 09/11/2016 11:38

In any relationship sometimes you do things for each other when asked ( getting milk on the way home, giving lifts, picking up from a different station due to trains cancelling)

Seriously I'd give him the lift no problem

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 09/11/2016 11:39

So did you give him the lift?

FWIW I think he's being cheeky wanting you to work late so he doesn't have an inconvenient walk. That's cheeky. I hate having to finish late because I've gone in late, and like you I have a twenty minute walk/10 minute drive.

newmumwithquestions · 09/11/2016 11:42

He has ways to get to work by himself. YANBU.

QuintessentialShadow · 09/11/2016 11:43

YANBU.

You go to work by walk, so you cant drive him. What he does is his lookout.