We find doing poppies hard, and neither dh or I wear them.
My paternal grandfather, who I remember well (he died when I was 16) was in the RAF in WW2, my other grandad was in a reserved occupation (coal mining) and in the home guard. So far, so good.
Dhs maternal grandfather was never called up as there wasn't conscription in N.Ireland.
His paternal grandfather was a pilot in the Luftwaffe and his grandmother a prominent part of the Hitler Youth. Because they were German. Thats what they did. By 1945 Opa was a russian prisoner of war and Omi a young "widowed" mother of 2.
We don't wear poppies because of the british triumphalism that goes with them.
My grandads, both of them, never wore a poppy. Dh just feels he can't, given his heritage.
And we both don't like the thing that poppies have become, an unthinking support of forces in wars we don't accept or agree too.
Our children have the choice (they're teenagers) and none of them choose to. They bear a German surname. Both dd1 and ds have been to the ww1 battlefields with school, who were incredibly good and they found german graves with a name very similar to ours. Neither want to wear poppies as "its not for them".