Ex refusing I return 3yo after contact

[Mooey89]

Contact 10-4 Saturdays. No overnights due to catalogue of concerns re home environment/domestic abuse
Waiting for court on Dec 5th.

Went for contact today, due home at 4, text saying he is keeping him overnight will return him tomorrow at 6 and there is nothing I can do about it. DS hadnt stayed overnight there for 6 months. He left this morning thinking he would be coming back to me after.

Police can't do anything without a court order.
He's also stopped maintenance this month to 'punish' me.

He's such a cunt.

[NotAnotherUserName1234]

is DS safe?

[BoboBunnyH0p]

OP sorry your having to deal with this. Hopefully your DC is enjoying the adventure and is non the wiser. Agree with previous posters when he is returned tomorrow say nothing to ex. He is wanting a response he is trying to control you.

[GizmoFrisby]

Hope your ok. I have been in this situation where I had to stop contact. Go to your solicitors first thing tomorrow to make an appointment. Explain the situation. She will tell you that you can legally stop contact. Due to the situation she will most likely write to him and explain what he's done is out of order. Do not let him out of your sight until court. Keep all your texts and write all the dates down. You will wipe the floor with him. I did with my ex.

[ConvincingLiar]

Hope DS comes back at 6 today as promised.

[VladimirsPooTin]

Is DS home now?

[frugalprincess]

Was it 6am or 6pm today that he said he'd return him?

What age is your DS?

Hope he's back soon

[frugalprincess]

Sorry I've just seen he's 3 from
Your title

[TheCatsMother99]

What a bstrd.

Hope your ds was ok with his impromptu overnighter. I agree with others in that he can't be trusted with access if he's going to breach the conditions of it.

[AyeAmarok]

I agree it's a reaction he wants, he gets to feel like a big man for dictating what's happening to you.

Don't react when he returns him this evening.

[OohMavis]

Hope he's returned and everything is ok.

[Stormwhale]

How absolutely awful for you. I would be distraught. I hope he is safely returned today and completely agree with advice to stop contact until you get a court order.

[Mooey89]

He's text me saying I can collect him at 11 today??

[Stormwhale]

Collect him and do not say anything. Do not get into a conversation. Just collect ds and leave. Then email or text to say contact is stopping.

[AyeAmarok]

Oh, harder work than he thought, is it...

Difficult one. I'd be tempted to say no, but that's probably not best for any of you.

Does he usually drop him back? Why does he want you to go to him?

[GrumpyInsomniac]

Guess he's not getting the response he hoped for, so here's the next wind up. While it's tempting to suggest you say you now have plans and will see him at 6, and let him deal with it, given the circumstances I'd probably go and get your son at 11, relieved to have him back and safely away from the ex. That may not be the 'right' thing in terms of showing him he can't dictate to you, but I'd want my son back with me.

I'd be ready to take pictures of the condition my son was in, too, if he wasn't prepped for an overnight, to use as evidence when the court date comes. Either he premeditated and got stuff in specially, or did it on the spur of the moment and made no allowance for your son's material needs while he was there, but either way it's potentially useful to record which it is.

op - your ex is a turd.

[Eightiesmate]

Will you be safe to collect him? I'm a little concerned it may be a trap to get you go go somewhere where you'll be alone with him & DS. Hope you get him back safely soon, I'd be going out of my mind

[Mooey89]

I'm taking DP with me to get him. No question that I wouldn't get him, and will definitely take pictures!

[coconutpie]

Bring your DP with you for the collection to be safe. You must've been beside yourself with worry, hope your DS is ok.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Arrange to meet in a public place

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Go and get your ds with someone else for support if you can. And definitely tell someone where you are going if not. Do as stormwhale suggests and say nothing. Speak to your solicitor tomorrow and get contact stopped.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Great, good plan. I hope he's ok!!

[2kids2dogsnosense]

Cant' help, but just wanted toady support.

Hopefully your DC will not be nearly as distressed as you re and your ex will make the effort to give him a lovely evening and a nice breakfast.

However whatever happens, he is not to be trusted and you are right to go to your solicitor.

And remember - until there is a court order in place, if your ex "doesn't have to bring him back" at the agreed time, then you don't have t let him go.

[LagunaBubbles]

Where have you to collect him from?

[2kids2dogsnosense]

*to offer, not toady