To be appalled at this tee shirt

[pinkpostitnote]

https://www.everything5.com/products/no-means-no?contactposted=true#contactt_form

Please do join me in complaining about this awful product.

I felt offended on behalf of women who have been in the situation of being ignored about saying no when drunk. That was literally the first thing in my head.

And that it should be sold and promoted is vile.

They can get more traffic for normal inoffensive tee shirts; I don't care. But not that one. It does perpetuate, in the subconscious of society, the idea that things are different when drunk.

The more that phrase is seen and giggled about, the more young ignorant people think it's normal and acceptable.

A few years ago I would have seen it and thought it was kind of true as to what happens in a light hearted way when drunk. And not linked to sex or consent actually. Sadly in the light of recent court cases and experience of friends I can't see past it's deeper meaning. And I don't think we should have to.

It's s dangerous phrase to use light heartedly.

Nothing would likely to be done in Nottinghamshire either, except recording the "incident"

Half it is however a shame it's not been removed before more sales can occur.

This is where the DF have fucked up.

Just horrible and upsetting that someone would even conceive this.

Dreadful that there are women who would wear this...

I don't see the problem, if a woman chooses to wear one that's their own business. Surely we should be much more concerned about actual rape and sexual assault that waste our time on a pathetic t-shirt?

Humour is subjective and people find different things funny. Nothing is intrinsically funny or unfunny, and it is possible that people who buy this shirt are finding it amusing in an ironic way, in much the same way they might wear a Trump t-shirt.

Over the top reactions to a poor joke distract from the real issues, the actual rapes, sexual assaults and abusive behaviour that happen in the real world. If you're offended, don't buy one...

The DM are attributing it to everything5pounds.com instead of everything5.com.

I really feel for them, they must be getting a lot of stick from confused customers today.

Does it not perpetuate the idea that the attitude is acceptable?

It's extremely poor taste and doesn't need to exist.

Imo voicing my concern in protest is another way to support.

I do think it should be removed from sale as it crosses a line but also think kid kind of has a point - disgusting, ill advised, offensive t-shirts are nothing new and reflect more on the buyer than the seller, imo.

You can (or could?) buy t-shirts in XXL that say 'I Beat Anorexia' , babygrows that say 'I'm sexy' on them and many worse things.

I've just google image searched offensive t-shirts and on the first page of results I've found:
'Keep Calm and Hit Her'
'80% White, 12 inches Black'
'It's not Rape, it's a Snuggle with a Struggle'
'Who needs brains when you have These' (breasts, I assume)
'It's not that obesity, heart disease and diabetes run in your family - it's that no one runs in your family'
'It's not Rape if you yell Surprise'

I really hope they're fakes. I felt a bit sick just looking

It's a tshirt with writing on the front, the 'humour' for want of a better word, is very questionable, and not at all funny imo, but plenty of young women will buy it. I've seen a lot worse.

Agree with WLF46. Getting irate about words on a cheap tshirt is a bit ott when set against the assaults and abuse that are happening on a daily basis in thousands of women's lives.

And I don't believe that someone walking around with bad taste 'jokes' on their tshirt is going to have any impact whatsoever on the incidences of sexual assaults or hate crimes.

I've seen a lot worse.

Well, good for you. Should only the 'worst' be condemned? And 'worst' by whose criteria?

And I don't believe that someone walking around with bad taste 'jokes' on their tshirt is going to have any impact whatsoever on the incidences of sexual assaults or hate crimes.

Then where do you think sexual assaults and hate crimes come from? Out of the blue? Or from the culture?

I think it's been taken down now. The link doesn't work any more.

They are all offensive and in poor taste. Will email too.

Well if everything came from the 'culture' without other influences and were brought about merely by a few people wearing distasteful tshirt everyone would be committing hate crimes and violence.

There's a lot more going on in the lives of people who commit assaults than the influence of a few words on a tshirt.

I think it's being a bit disingenuous to think that if these things didn't exist there would be few women raped or killed or people committing racist hate crimes.

I've had racist hate shouted/spat at me and my DC when walking past a little girl who looked no more than about 6 years old. Pretty certain that comes from something far deeper than words on a tshirt.

In the great scheme of things, I don't think these things, however distasteful they are, have a huge influence on anything or anyone.

None of it is ok.

None of it, actual assault or words alluding to it, making a joke of it.

I have a background in art and so I guess I see visual culture very astutely around us in the way it permeates society, from a decorative item to a significant meaning with links to attitudes that breed actual assault. We are visual beings who have 'tribes' defined by how we visually present our selves. And in this day and age, that's with our FB, our twitter and our t shirts.

'We' (some of us, general populace) are also gullible beings who become conditioned to believe what we see and experience as being acceptable as it's in mainstream media. And media is also a t shirt, given the way we wear our brands.

So, actually, it matters in a lower scale in terms of offence and actual harm but it still matters in my honest opinion, as it is how it could be interpreted, who might see it and who may repeat it and translate it into actual attitudes.

Some of the t shirts listed by maniac are actually worse imo. These phrases easily become locker room jokes that get picked up by naive youngsters, and become 'ok' or normalised phrases.

Do we want it to be normalised? It's the very bottom rung of the ladder to normalising actual rape.

This shit is probably almost exclusively bought by men to give to women as really bad gift.

I think there might actually be some use in just letting them get on with selling it.

One, women will see what kind of people the businessowners are and not buy there, two, men will expose their misogyny by buying it and giving it as gift.

Also, making a lot of fuss about it gives them free advertising.

I think we should call for laws that outlaw misogynist hatespeech without drawing attention to individual sellers. When the law is there, it will be possible to sue them and they won't be able to generate profit .... at least not by selling those shirts.

Am all for opening threads on mumsnet about it, though. People on here are not potential buyers and will hopefully react with boycott.