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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not answer the door?

29 replies

HandbagAtDawn · 04/11/2016 22:35

I'm nine months pregnant and have SPD, and am at home on mat leave.

When DH comes home from work he (and/or DSD, if he's picked her up on the way home) always rings the doorbell instead of using his keys.

It drives me absolutely mad. He thinks it's not a big deal to just open the door, but it hurts like buggery to get up once I'm sitting down. And also, it's so unnecessary and I CBA.

Tonight I just didn't answer the door. I let them ring and knock until he eventually got the keys out.

WIBU?

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 04/11/2016 22:37

Put a note on the door now as it s a habit ypu need to break. When you changing newborn poo you don't want door bell ringing. ..

Cherrysoup · 04/11/2016 22:38

How bizarre! Surly he could just get the keys out? So weird.

stella23 · 04/11/2016 22:39

It's just really lazy of him and quite entitiled behaviour.

WorraLiberty · 04/11/2016 22:40

Of course you were not being unreasonable.

You did the best thing because there was a consequence

Keep it up and hopefully he'll get the message that he's wasting his time, so he might as well just get his keys out in the first place.

GinevraPotter · 04/11/2016 22:40

YANBU

Your DH needs to stop being lazy and unlock the door himself. The last thing you will need with a newborn is him ringing the doorbell.

Original poster
HandbagAtDawn · 04/11/2016 22:41

Good. I am unequivocal. I will no longer be opening the door if they ring it.

OP posts:
swizzlestar · 04/11/2016 22:41

YWNBU!!! You can't possibly understand how painful spd can be until you've had it yourself. He needs to just use his keys!

saltededamummy · 04/11/2016 22:44

My DH used to do this; it made my blood boil & I left him very clear how I felt - I have limited mobility too. If he does it now I open the door & turn away from him, swear & give him a filthy look (he doesn't do it much now, come to think of it).
Is it because they have a feeling of entitlement? They are lazy? Think we just sit there waiting for them??
I think it's selfish.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/11/2016 22:46

Have you actually told him? And he's ignoring your request? In which case sit your arse down.

DH does this but DD loves opening the door for him so it's a habit.

haveacupoftea · 04/11/2016 22:49

YANBU

Original poster
HandbagAtDawn · 04/11/2016 22:51

He says it's because he has his hands full with school run detritus - PE bag, school letters, his work bag, coats, etc.

But I often come home to an empty house with my hands full and you know what...? I put the bags and shit on the ground and use my damn keys!

This and leaving pants on the floor are the extent of his transgressions to be fair. But unfortunately it's probably what will make me kill him eventually.

OP posts:
highlandspringerdog · 04/11/2016 22:51

Yanbu at all! Keys glorious keys. That's what they are there for!

WorraLiberty · 04/11/2016 22:59

And what's wrong with his daughter's hands exactly? Confused

lottieandmia · 04/11/2016 23:00

YANBU - I would not get up.

ohtheholidays · 04/11/2016 23:03

YANBU but your husband is!I had SPD when I was pregnant with our 4th DC and I ended up in a wheelchair,do not do anymore walking than you have to!

Original poster
HandbagAtDawn · 04/11/2016 23:03

And what's wrong with his daughter's hands exactly?

Good point Hmm

OP posts:
wowsertrousers · 04/11/2016 23:10

Yanbu. I'm 7 months preggers with spd and get this sort of thing constantly from my DD. In her defence though, she is only 4... My DH, who i constantly berate for being inconsiderate, would never make me get up to let him in if he had his keys, barring some genuine need. Pre-spd, sure, did it constantly. But not now. Maybe your husband doesn't appreciate how painful spd can be and how generally exhausting being 9 months pregnant can be even without spd and feeling like your pelvis is being sawn in two? My dh knows i don't usually complain about pain but have moaned a whole giant fuckload about spd both pregnancies, so i think he gets that it must be pretty crappy. Make sure you get rest rest and more rest.

Nurszilla · 04/11/2016 23:11

YANBU, DD is almost 4 now but I remember the agony of spd like it was yesterday! Ignore and repeat until he gets the hint.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 04/11/2016 23:42

Tell him to hire a butler.

You are NOT a butler.

DanGleballs · 05/11/2016 04:23

This reminds me of a client whose banker husband never had a key to his own house. He said that he expected her to be at the door to greet him whenever he got home. Funnily enough we were representing her in their divorce.

You need to explain to him how out of order he is being. If he doesn't get it then you have big problems unfortunately.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 05/11/2016 04:29

If the living room was right next to the front door and I had my hands totally and completely full I might kind of kick the door to have my perfectly healthy and mobile partner come help me out.

SPD? He needs a very stern talking to so this shit never happens again. Ever!

JedRambosteen · 05/11/2016 05:51

SPD is agony. I used to liken the pain to having been kicked between the legs by a horse, with it varying between Shire and Shetland depending in the kind of day I'd had and the amount of walking. YAdefinitelyNBU

AudreyBradshaw · 05/11/2016 06:35

I'm 37 weeks, don't have SPD and I wouldn't answer the door. I don't answer the house phone unless it's next to me because it takes me more than the allocated amount of rings to reach it. And I can't be arsed getting off the couch. YANBU at all.

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 05/11/2016 06:52

DH does this and after a load of warnings I stopped getting the door. He learnt to get the keys out after a week.

Bringmewineandcake · 05/11/2016 07:02

Surely the hand that's reaching out to ring the doorbell could be the same hand that, y'know, gets his own flipping keys out??