Please give me your thoughts on this subject. My son has just turned 18 and is in his second year of A Levels. He wants to go to university to do a specific degree which is his passion. He doesn't want to stay local, he wants to go to the Capital to study.
He has been dating the same girl for just over two years and they are at the same stage in their studies. Having failed one of his AS exams he has ditched that subject and restarted a new A Level fresh this term. That means come next summer he will have two and a half A Levels which may or may not be enough UCAS points to get in, but it's worth a try and there's always clearing. Otherwise he'd maybe have to wait another 12 months until he got all 3 A Levels completed.
His girlfriend will finish all her A Levels next year and intend to work for a year before she thinks about university. She does not want the big city. Historically in their relationship she calls all the shots and uses her emotions to control him eg 'if you do that it shows you don't love me'.
She has made it clear to him that he is not to go to university next year as she isn't intending to go herself. She has made him promise not to apply. He feels she will put him through enormous pressure (and I think emotional blackmail) if he did apply and go next year to follow his dreams sooner rather than later.
He thinks that staying at home another year is the path of least resistance but if asked if he wants to go next year - he certainly does. He is quite kind hearted and does not like upsetting anyone - least of all her.
AIBU to think she should butt out and let him do what he bloody well wants to do?
From a frustrated mother