Not to want sister and family for Christmas

[Breastbeaten]

I feel awful to say this but I don't want my sister, bro in law and 1 yo nephew to come for Christmas. They want to stay for 4 nights but:

Baby is a terrible crier - it's pretty much constant. He doesn't interact with anyone and I am worried too much attention would be focused on trying to stop him walking in to things, knocking things over and generally being a danger to himself, my daughter and dogs.

But more delicate issue probably..... my sis and bro in law are awful to each other. They snipe, bitch and outfight argue and insult each other in front of all of us, including our 7yo.

We like a calm environment and don't argue in front of kids.

So what do I say? How do I say it? Can it be done without huge hurt?

The child may not travel well, but if they were to do it more often he'd get better at it.

They seem quite ok taking him on the 30 minute journey to the OP's house every weekend.

You need to make it as unappealing as possible for them... how about the kids coming down with a gastric virus starting from a week out? Vomiting and diarrhea are highly contagious you know....

I have a one year old. Granted he has no special needs, but I can't imagine wanting to stay over somewhere for 4 nights when I live 30 min away! Everything is just so much more work away from home.

I'd offer one night OP (maybe Christmas Day) as a compromise and then if they want to see you and your mum the other days then they can do a day trip. Or you could visit them for the day? (Am guessing that's probably not an option)

Oh lord - this brings back memories!

My parents' relationship was a difficult one - bickering and putting each other down. I remember an occasion when one of my DDs (then aged about 8) finished up being manipulated in this fight. ("You want Grandad to do X don't you?"). It brought back memories of similarly being a pawn in their games. I took DD out of the situation, but did not say anything. However I did not contact them for a while, just answered their calls. Eventually my Dad asked me why I was not getting in touch and I braced myself and said that I did not like my children to have to witness their arguing and I did not want my children involved. There was a long silence.

He rang back after a while and said that my Mum was very upset about what I had said. What could I say?

However, they never ever argued in front of the children again!

You need to protect your children - listening to this sort of sniping is so damaging.

The fact that your 7 year old daughter is even commenting on how she hates their bickering and so clearly wishes they wouldn't keep coming over to yours so often would be the bottom line for me. No way would I allow them to ruin my child's Christmas and make her feel uncomfortable in her own home. I know you love your sister and nephew, OP, but please put your child first. It really is okay (necessary, even) for you to do that in this situation.