Don't want my 8yo to have a games console

[octopusrus]

AIBU?

DS will be 8 in Dec.

I'm pretty anti video games but DH would love to buy a console for his bday (he hasn't asked for one).

I feel he's too young and I want to hold off as long as possible but AIBU and is it inevitable at some point anyway?

Help please, causing a lot of arguments at home.

YANBU. Hes too young, its your DP that wants a games console.

Hold off as long as you can. I regret getting my DS a Wii some years ago. We have all the consoles now, they play them a lot, use them to socialise but I wish I had held off until they really wanted it. It's all a bit of a cop out. It's their 'go to' activity, they don't get bored and so for have to think about what to do next. I don't mind so much now they are 15 & 14.

Yes I kind of agree with the 'getting bored' thing because that's when he starts making up his own games with some LEGO or something or plays with his younger sister and that's so rare I just love seeing it. He is happy playing with cars etc so I just don't see the point of introducing something which will cause an argument after school every day (yes that may be a prediction but still) when it's not yet in his mindset.

Creativity comes from boredom. I have a battle with my DSs to do other things - given they are older I have less jurisdiction.

If he's not asked I wouldn't. If your DH wants one he should get it for himself and stop pretending it's for your DS.

In our case we're into gaming and already have consoles and a PC so DS won't ever have to ask for one!

If he hasn't even asked for one or expressed an interest in one, I wouldn't be in a rush to buy one.
I'd be waiting until he did say he wants one. Yes, they're the way of the world now and all that, but there's no actual need for an 8 year old to have a console.
My 9 year old has a Nintendo ds console, and he's absolutely shocking at self regulating time on there. He'd quite happily play on the damn thing all day if you let him.
They're alright in moderation, but you need to be firm on time limits. We say an hour and then you put it away and do something else for a bit.
Which can cause arguments and all kinds of moany shit, so why expose yourself to tantrums when you don't need to?!
If he hasn't even expressed an interest, leave it be and carry on doing what you're doing now.
Life's a lot more "stiller" and calm when not engaged in video games and online life. (Aware of irony typing on Mumsnet lol but I definitely notice this when all technology is off.)
Keep it that way while you can. I'm sure he'll make up for it in a few years when he wants all the gadgets.

Stand firm

NEVER EVER EVER LET HIM GET ONE .
I wish SOMEONE HAD ADVISED me of this.
They are addictive ,expensive , and evil.

I am utterly serious.
They have caused so much grief in our family

iminshock can I ask why it's caused so much grief in your family ?

I don't think he's too young, and games consoles are no worse a way to spend time than watching tv or listening to music. and are probably safer than using the internet.

But if he hasn't asked for one then it's not unreasonable not to get one.

It's a difficult one. When i grew up we had one from when i was roughly that age, but i used to do all my playing outside and it was a brief go in the evening or a weekend when it rained. These days technology has taken over completely and kids spend far too much time staring at screens, be it tv, phone, tablet, computer, or gaming. If he hasn't asked for one, i'd hold off as long as possible. It scares me already how many young kids are playing all these violent online games being exposed not just to the questionable content of the game itself, but to the other online players who you have no control over who he is interacting with. i've taken breaks from gaming after some pretty disturbing run ins with incredibly aggressive, violent people who make some outrageous comments, threats and the like.

Mine don't have IPADs, consoles, don't play on my phone...nada......yet. I want to keep it that way as long as possible and believe it is a valid choice. I don't want the limited free time they have to be used with screen time. I feel, right or wrong, that such game play quickly trumps imaginative toy play and I am very resistant to that. Boys in particular are leaving toys behind earlier and earlier and the benefit of such play is well documented. You only need to see the "what do I get my 8 yr old for Christmas, he already has a tablet, console etc" threads.

People seem in a rush for kids to grow out of those amazing messy, loud, beautifully creative toy years but when they are gone, they are gone...hold off is my perspective.

God some people are so dramatic.

I'd he doesn't want one. Don't get him one.

Games consoles are not evil. We have always had them, even when it was just me and dh. They can be fun. I have a 12 year old and a five year old. Neither have been obsessed, got aggressive etc.

Games consoles arent evil or something kids must have. I wouldn't get one if he isn't asking for one.

Iminshock - you need to calm the fuck down. Consoles are not evil and they can't ruin your life if you don't let them.

I don't know why you think its an either or.

Both of my DSs read a lot. DS1 in particular rarely has his nose out of a book. They still like playing on the PS4.

I'm strict though and they are only allowed to play on Friday Saturday and Sunday and then its only for an hour on each day and once their chores are done.

If you're firm with the rules right from the outset and you don't budge then it doesn't cause any problems. Mine know that it goes off when we say so otherwise they lose the chance to play next time.

Maybe he hasn't asked for one because he knows your views. My parents were like this, I felt like I could only ask for things they would approve of at Christmas/for birthdays. There's nothing wrong with games consoles, maybe set a time limit on usage though and obviously age appropriate games. FIFA etc is something father and son can play together. I buy my son all the fun stuff, I don't think that makes me a bad parent. We still read etc.

I'd wait until he asks for one. It'll happen soon enough.

I was really anti video games until BIL gave my kids his old xbox when eldest was 8. I do have to limit the times- xbox is just for the weekend because the kids get so involved so 30 mins isn't enough! They usually play for about 1/1.5 hour at a time. The two boys always play games together, there is a lot of talking going on constantly about tactics etc…I've come around now. I do find that excessive time on the xbox e.g. 3 hours creates a grumpy child and the kids agree with me, so it doesn't happen.

Why not suggest looking for a cheap 2nd hand Wii? Not a Wii U but the older version. We did that. DS plays on it a bit but he can go ages without bothering. It's not on display in our living room.
If your dh wants an expensive new one then it probably is for him whereas a cheap bundle of kids games 2nd hand with no option to keep buying new games would be a soft controlled introduction for ds and you can move about to play so it's not sitting, staring at a screen.

I think once they have a games console, you basically have a choice.

You either let them stay glued to the thing for hours (which is bad, obviously), or you have to spend time and energy policing its use, and arguing about how many minutes they are allowed, and how many minutes they have already had, and that was NEVER ten minutes just now and....

I say, stand your ground.

So tricky. I know my nine year old would LOVE one...but we have a tablet and he is obsessed. I mean obsessed. We limit his time but even when he's not on it, he talks about it he asks for it incessantly. It'seems the first thing we hear in the morning and the last thing we hear at night. I wish we didn't have it.

I am in two minds about the wii. I wonder if it would be more sociable? But I don't want another PITA like the ipad or to feed the obsession.

Never caused a problem here. Ours have/had Wii- best fun imo, Xbox, iPads, Nintendo ds, laptops, smart phones. They're also very sociable and sporty creatures and wasn't long before they would be off to friends/playing football/hockey/ horse riding etc. We didn't limit anything (except 10pm curfew on school nights) as the balance was already sorted.

I don't think there is anything wrong with an 8 year old having a games console. As long as the time spent on it is limited and the games are age appropriate.

However, I wouldn't buy one for my child if it's not something they'd asked for (though we've always had one because I love gaming and the children don't get a look in

If your Dh wants one, why doesn't he just get one for himself?

Felicia kindly resist from swearing at me .

You and your dh need to agree with it, I don't think he's to young however.

My own children have had consoles since they where very little. Ds2 is technology mad and has been since he was very very little. He loves raspberry PI tech, he loves computing and science and all tech stuff he just absorbes the learning.

Technology is the world we live in, so yes I would get him used to it, gaming is a easy way to get kids used to the equipment, the lego games are fantastic for problem solving and forward thinking skills.

If he asks for one, fair enough. But it's true that many young people get a games console and subsequently don't do a lot more than play on it. I would hold off for that reason.