To think that if you become a childminder you should not just take 'easy' children

[Introvertedbuthappy]

I go back to work in December and decided on a childminder to look after my baby for the three days a week I'll be working. As I started looking in September I was asked to pay £150 a month until then to hold the place (1 day a week's fees) and as part of that could obviously use that day as childcare (as it was already being paid for). All fine.
Since then he has been there 3.5 days (CM wanted to cut one day short to go on holiday at a day's notice). On Tuesday she called to say that she will no longer look after my 6.5 month old as he is 'a difficult baby', 'cries a lot' and 'needs a lot of attention'. She also described an incident where her 3 year old got so frustrated with my son's crying her child 'screamed in his face, which was distressing not only for yoyr son, but myself and my daughter'. She has 'never seen a baby like it' (not in a positive way).
I am both devastated and angry. He is generally a happy chap, does like a lot of stimulation, but is happy to roll around/jump in his jumparoo/chase a pack of wipes round, but does obviously need to be picked up sometimes (ie like a typical baby). He doesn't sleep much but is generally not grumpy with it.
I'm upset about a number of things - the screaming incident, the language used about my son to turn down the contract and the fact I've pissed £150 down the drain to hold a place I can't take up.
So, AIBU or should she have attempted to settle him better before branding him a 'difficult' baby?

[NeverNic]

I don't think you are entitled to money back. You used the childcare (bar the holiday) whether you wanted to or not. If you have agreed that you will pay her holiday entitlement then, I wouldn't think you'd be able to argue that one either. The way I look at it, she's saved you a huge heap of trouble by doing this now. And she's probably saved you money too, in terms of days off you'd need take off from work. I get the feeling she may have been flaky and made things tricky for you. Lucky escape I'd say!

[BakeOffBiscuits]

Are you going report her, because I would.

She doesn't sound like she should be looking after babies, if she thinks it's ok for her son to 'scream' in a baby's face!

[budgiegirl]

I accept I won't get anything back, but I hope others can see why I am annoyed

I can see why it's frustrating, and I think the language she chose was unprofessional, but I do think she was within her rights. I disagree with the posters who thinks she's dishonest and a scammer.

It was just a bad fit between your baby and her family. I agree that the settling in period wasn't long enough, but surely if it had been much longer you'd have had to pay for it, and be in much the same position as you are now.

Hope you find a CM who's better for your baby soon

[roundaboutthetown]

I would report her, make sure you warn anyone you know who might be looking for a cm that she is hopeless, insist on at least half a day's worth of money back, and thank your lucky stars your child is not going to be looked after by an incompetent childminder after all.

[roundaboutthetown]

Then I would calm down a bit and feel a tiny bit guilty... until I re-read her description of my baby!...

[Foxedme]

I'd be glad to get my baby out of there! She doesn't sound the best. There are some wonderful childminders out there and you've just been unlucky.

[Artandco]

I wouldn't report her. She isn't incompetent. As far as you know she treated your son very well for those three days, but just doesn't feel he is the right fit for her place so told you. She hasn't been cruel to your child, hasn't endangered his life, and accurately told you straight away it wouldn't work rather than dragging it out for weeks.
She has admitted she cannot see it working for whatever reason, rather than just keeping him there for money

[Lickedthespoon]

Thank goodness your boy won't be staying with her, she sounds horrible! Atleast you found out now. I'd be feeling angry and upset too. Maybe he cried more as he didn't enjoy it!? Lucky escape i think

[weveallkissedafrogor2]

it is up to her who she takes on but Id want my money back.

You need to be really happy with your CM other wise you will always be worrying.

[NickNacks]

Honestly as tempting as it is, there's nothing to report her for. Care commission won't get involved in contractual issues (as this is) and she hasn't harmed or neglected the baby.

Good luck with your next childcare choice.

[Tomorrowillbeachicken]

I'd report her for the screaming in the baby's face. She doesn't seem to be able to cope with own child as well as other peoples too.

[MuseumOfCurry]

You'd report the CM's 3 year old for screaming in the baby's face?

[Softkitty2]

Report her. She might take another clients money and 'dump' them after 3 sessions and refuse a refund and if she continues the cycle she is scam artist.

[DoinItFine]

Of course she's incompetent.

She is accepting work as a CM to babies when she is not capable of dealing with a baby.

Then she cancels her arrangement to care for a baby she xan2cope with due ti it being a baby, and expects to keep money she was paid in expectation of the arrangements made being stuck to.

Dishonest and incompetent.

Of course that is something people who care about CM standards are interested in.

It will be useful for them to have on file the next time she pulls this scam.

This is the kind of carry on that makes people choose nurseries in preference to childminders, so good CMs are very keen that it not go on.

[Aeroflotgirl]

She does not sound like she's up for the job, and you have dodged a bullet there.

[BigGrannyPants]

Agree with what others have said. I would have been horrified if I were you, probably would have handled it really badly as well. Is there anywhere you can rate her?

Although it's put you in a bad position child care wise, it's definitely better you've found out early on that she is not suitable

[Tomorrowillbeachicken]

No I'd possibly wonder if the Cm is capable of coping

[lovelynannytobe]

When I used to childmind I never took babies as they wouldn't have been a good fit at my setting. I had mostly older children and I wouldn't have been able to offer the care babies require. Maybe she hasn't thought it through.
On another note ... one day a week for such a small baby is not a good idea as by the time the baby comes next it would have not remembered they have been here before. Hence settling in would have been a lot more difficult.
It's good she told you the truth rather than the usual 'due to change in circumstances'. With the leaving stuff on the doorstep ... maybe she had kids in the car and couldn't wait.

[budgiegirl]

I'd report her for the screaming in the baby's face. She doesn't seem to be able to cope with own child as well as other peoples too

FFS, what an over reaction! Three year olds do silly things sometimes! I'm sure the CM didn't just stand there and watch it happen while doing nothing about it.

[user1468518769]

It's her choice. I wouldn't want my dd at a childminders with a baby that cried and needed slot of attention. Wouldn't be fair on her. Just look elsewhere.

[NickNacks]

You can't report for contractual issues. They aren't her boss. Care commission/ ofsted / ccwis (?) are all for regulating the childrcare standards.

[DoinItFine]

If you "haven't thought through" your business and take on work you can't complete, then you return any money paid to you upfront.

Her poor organisation has already caused significant inconvenience or the OP.

Charging her £150 for wasting her time is taking the fucking piss.

[foursillybeans]

I would report this as a concern that it's a scam plus your concerns over her abilities to the local authority as she will be registered with them if she is a proper childminder.

Then I would write off the £150 and be very thankful that my child is not in her care anymore.

[DoinItFine]

. I wouldn't want my dd at a childminders with a baby that cried and needed slot of attention. Wouldn't be fair on her.

LOL

Then you need to employ a nanny.