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AIBU?

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Original poster

To post a childish meme to display that I'm fucked off?

148 replies

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 02/11/2016 12:51

I am. I know I am... I'm mid thirties with kids and I'm pissed off my friend is having a big party with all our joint friends and didn't invite me & DH.

My DH doesn't care. Everything is like water off a ducks back to him... which kind of annoys me more.

I want to find some perfect 'didn't invite me to your party, well Fuck you' meme but a) I wouldn't know where to look, b) I'm not a teenager and c) I'm sure I would regret it.

But I still want to. I need to get over it don't I?! Blush

OP posts:
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Ketsby · 02/11/2016 13:15

It would be much better to ask. Either you don't ask and the friendship goes tits up anyway because of simmering resentment and whatever her problem is with you, and or you do ask and it goes tits up because of the discussion, or you actually get it sorted out.

"Hi. OK, so I feel a bit vulnerable admitting this but I'm feeling a bit hurt and not getting invited to the party. I really like you and thought we were good friends. Have I done something to upset you? I'd really lke the chance to put it right."

Or something.

Then she either tells you she's really upset you gave her Great Aunt's crockery the side-eye, or she ignores you, or whatever. But at least it's resolved, done, dusted.

Ketsby · 02/11/2016 13:15

Don't do a meme. There is no situation that will be improved by a sad minion.

Besides, if they are all bitching about you, posting a sad meme will be mock-worthy. A perfectly normal message, without pleading or multiple kisses or anything weird is less mockworthy.

user1477282676 · 02/11/2016 13:17

Tell her what's what! :D

To post a childish meme to display that I'm fucked off?
thingsthatgoflumpinthenight · 02/11/2016 13:18

Don't do it. Memes are shit.

Ask her why you're not invited or forget it.

AmeliaJack · 02/11/2016 13:18

Just mention the party without mentioning your lack of invite.

"Jeanie mentioned you were having a big party, that's lovely - what's the occasion"'

Or "I hear you are party girl at the weekend - have you got a new outfit?"

Or easiest if all, just be honest:

"I hear everyone else is invited to your party - have we upset you? I was a bit surprised not to be invited."

Don't do a PA meme - you aren't 14.

JenLindleyShitMom · 02/11/2016 13:18

When is the party? Maybe she hasn't invited everyone yet.

user1477282676 · 02/11/2016 13:18

Asking SEEMS advisable but really it's not. It's so desparate.

There's no clearer indication that someone does not value you...and does not want to be your friend than this sort of thing.

Why on earth would one lower oneself to ASK!?

She wasn't invited. That's enough.

Either block the cow or post a meme then block her.

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 02/11/2016 13:21

I'm inclined to agree with ketsby (again - I'm not stalking you on MN, honest! You just happen to have written a couple of really sensible posts!)

Don't do it OP. Enjoy the memes people have posted (I am!) but either ignore the situation, or ask her face to face when you next see her. No point in humiliating yourself further.

WussyWat · 02/11/2016 13:21

I definitely wouldn't ask. If you only saw her this morning and it wasn't mentioned but she was fine with you then she just obviously doesn't regard you as a friend. Don't ask why you aren't invited, she will end up giving you a pity invite and spend all night drunkenly telling everyone about how awkward it was.

If she was a true friend, there would be no oversight and you'd have an invite.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 02/11/2016 13:21

Yeah, I'm definitely not going to ask. I'd rather post the meme... (but still won't!)

OP posts:
Flumpnugget · 02/11/2016 13:24

Practise beforehand but next time you see her, simply say something such as

"...really don't want to make life awkward between us, but I'll forever be sitting on this if I don't say it; It's just I heard there was a get together at yours- other people going presumed I was invited and I've been left a bit red- faced about it all"

And then let her answer and see what's occurring- don't of course go out of false politeness if she suddenly invites you, but if you value your friendship, you need to clear it up, OP.

user1477282676 · 02/11/2016 13:28

You're like me OP....I wouldn't ask OR post a meme but I would be hurt.

What sort of mate is this? Have you known her long? How often do you see her?

KERALA1 · 02/11/2016 13:29

Don't say anything you will regret it.

No one has to invite you to anything.

As an organiser of stuff I sometimes have to leave people out for space reasons. I have also been left out and know it hurts. Rant away to Dh or in your head but honestly saying anything publicly will backfire.

NavyandWhite · 02/11/2016 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HateSummer · 02/11/2016 13:30

i love meme generators 😝

To post a childish meme to display that I'm fucked off?
To post a childish meme to display that I'm fucked off?
ChuckGravestones · 02/11/2016 13:31

Invite her out on the night of the party. Does she fancy a girls night out, or does she fancy a show in Xchester and a meal out. See her squirm. Smile. she will suspect you might know but she can't ask can she?

DixieWishbone · 02/11/2016 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KERALA1 · 02/11/2016 13:32

Also am sure they are not "all bitching about you". If they are adult anyway. Also doesn't necessarily mean she is not your friend or doesn't like you. May be space, your kids don't get on with hers, they have seen a lot of you lately so have invited different friends etc

FatOldBag · 02/11/2016 13:32

I'd post a meme - the first one on here. Or all of them - post them to her wall, haha. I think they're funny and they will raise the issue in a lighthearted way.

ALemonyPea · 02/11/2016 13:32

What was the meme?

Flumpenstein · 02/11/2016 13:33

God i love memes. I get far too much entertainment from them. More than what I think is a normal amount.

Mozfan1 · 02/11/2016 13:35

You know you want to

To post a childish meme to display that I'm fucked off?
NoSquirrels · 02/11/2016 13:36

Plan something marvellous for that day. Enjoy spending it with your kids. Then you won't feel so bad about it, and you have a ready-made reason for the eldest who might be as upset as you are.

It sucks. But no good can come of being the needy person who asks why. If your mutual friend has already put their foot in it by assuming you are coming (and you're not invited) then they will probably mention it out of embarrassment to the party-giver. So you might get a pity invite anyway, or you might find out why not.

But the best plan is to rise above it. Do something fun instead, and breezily mention it in a "how was your weekend/party" sort of way next time you see them.

Beyond I love that field of no-fucks. Grin

NoSquirrels · 02/11/2016 13:37

X-post with Dixie.

Bluntness100 · 02/11/2016 13:37

Speak to her, say something casual like "'i hear you're having a party are you excited?"

One of my friends had this situation, it was a misunderstanding, basically invites were casual, the friends friend thought formal, thought she wasn't invited, dove off the deep end and wrote them a letter on the day of the party dumping them as friends, end of a beautiful friendship that had lasted years, when all along she had been invited just as everyone else had.

Your invite could have got lost in post and your friend is embarrassed you haven't responded or mentioned it. It could be not te party you think , but have different dynamics and guest list, anything, you're just going on second hand info.

Speak to her.