To think there's nothing unusual about my six month old not sleeping through

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I'm fed up of people asking when I'm going to do CIO/CC because my six month old doesn't sleep through. AIBU to think it's totally normal for a six month old to wake in the night and still have night feeds etc?
Several friends with similar age babies keep talking about how they will have to sleep train soon as there is no way they can carry on with waking in the night. Surely most people don't have a baby and think it will sleep through so soon?
I realise some people are lucky and have babies who sleep through from early on but I doubt that most babies sleep through by six months?

My 6mo sleeps through but anyone who's asked, and I've said oh he sleeps through, has been incredibly surprised and said their children didn't until whenever, so it can't be that uncommon not to sleep through at 6 months!

I haven't sleep trained or anything. He doesn't nap though for more than about 1/2 hour total throughout the day.

There's a massive range of 'normal' when it comes to sleeping. Of my 3 DSs, 1 slept through from 6 weeks (12 hours, never stirring), 1 was mostly sleeping through from about 6 months, with the occasional tricky night. DS3 slept through for several weeks from 3 months. 4 months later he only sleeps through about 1 night in 3, and wakes for a feed the other nights.

At least I think that's what's happened - I'm fairly sure it's all merged into one big mass of sleeping/not-sleeping and I'm no longer entirely sure who did what and when

All children are different. None have the same story. Most BF babies don't sleep through the night at 6 months. Don't shoot me but ' sleep training' / 'crying it out' means training your child that no one will come when they call at night.

YANBU. Do what suits your family.

It's really common for DC not to be sleeping through at 6m.

It's also really common for DC to be sleeping through by 6m.

Both are developmentally normal.

There will be factors that might influence how early a baby might sleep through (feeding method, co sleeping v own room, whether they can self settle, whether they are reliant on dummies etc) but a lot will depend on the baby.

I had three mix fed babies (BF for all feeds apart from one daily FF at 7pm ish) who were in a Moses basket in our room till 4m, then moved into a cot in their own room. All could self settle to sleep from about 3m.

Older two slept 7-7 with a late feed at 11 ish from 8 weeks old, which is normal. Youngest was still waking randomly for several feeds per night at 6m and beyond, which is normal. He just wasn't ready to sleep through as early as his brothers were.

I think not sleeping through at 6 months is totally normal. An acquaintance of mine keeps complaining how tired she is and how can she get her baby to sleep through. Baby is less than 3 months old. I feel like telling her that her baby is behaving normally and I know it's very tiring but she has unrealistic expectations!

Several friends with similar age babies keep talking about how they will have to sleep train soon as there is no way they can carry on with waking in the night.

Their choice surely. Maybe sleep deprivation effects them more.

Mine didn't sleep through until 2. 6 months no way!

YANBU, do whatever works for you.

Mine is coming up for 7 months now and usually wakes twice in the night for a quick feed/cuddle. He's also fed to sleep. He's slept through a handful of times but that's only been when he's been exhausted like after going to a wedding etc. He also has few nights where he's up 3/4 times.
I always offer a feed but sometimes he doesn't want one, I think half his night wakes are due to rolling and startling himself awake.

IME of baby's I know breastfeeding/formula feeding/starting solids seems to have no bearing on whether they sleep or not.

I am a bit jealous of my DM though as I was breastfed and regularly did a 6 hour stretch of sleep from 8 weeks, probably took DS 4 or 5 months to sleep that long!

Both are normal and there's also a world of difference between waking for one feed during the night and waking up six or more times (my 6 mo has done both, including sleeping 13 hours solid, in the past fortnight!). The latter or worse would quite likely drive someone to want to try some sort of sleep training, whereas only waking once is probably something most could put up with! So I don't think sleeping through or not is really as important as it's made out to be amongst first time mums, as long as the situation is tolerable for you personally!

I sleep trained all three of mine at around six months. Took a night or two, then they slept 12 hours straight every night. No regrets! They don't seem to be psychologically damaged by it either!

It's up to you what you do - if you're not bothered about being woken up in the night, but it is also perfectly normal to want to get a full night's sleep for you and baby. (And also perfectly achievable).

The only time I do judge people is when their babies are clearly strung out through lack of sleep and they refuse to sleep train on principle. Sleep at this period is SO important for growth and development.

^
This

My niece is almost two and still not sleeping though. Her parents are like zombies from two years of broken sleep. Their DD is grumpy and unpredictable during the day and all of them are miserable.

I have ex-prem twins, who are 6.5 mths actual, but 3.5mths corrected. They don't sleep through, but only wake twice for feeds. Last feed is 8pm, then around 1 or 2am, then around 5 or 6am. They go back down really well after feeds, so I'm happy.

If anyone asks about their sleep (which they do), I just say "they sleep really well" and leave it at that!

I have 5 kids and all of them slept through by 6 months, just about. They woke if they dropped their soother or whatever but not for a feed. I didn't co-sleep, never let them cry it out and i had never even heard of sleep training. I just went in to them and soothed them if they needed me, sometimes a few times in the night, sometimes only a couple of times a week if i was lucky. What i came on here to say is, it doesnt matter what other people do, you do whats best for you and your baby. Someday your lo with sleep through, and eventually the sleepless nights will be a distant memory.

Some babies do sleep through. Most don't ime.
One of mine was sleeping 12-6 at 7 months. The other was still waking at 11, 2 and 5 at the same age and was about 15 months before I got a good 7 hour sleep.
Once they did it once, they did it almost every night though so it's swings & roundabouts.

It's unusual to me, but all of my babies slept through (though not for 12 hours, more like 6-7, approx 12 -6 ,gradually getting longer).
It's entirely up to you, OP, how it fits in with your life.
I'm happy with 5-6 hours sleep a night, so once they dropped their 3 am feed I was fine. I just focused on that, and they gradually went longer without being 'trained'.

DS1 started sleeping through at 7 months. I do remember a chat with NCT friends where 2 mums claimed theirs slept through when babies were 6 wks. We were all envious until they said 'but they still wake 3 times for feeds'. They were just in their cribs from 7 to 7....which they classed as sleeping through

DS1 is 3 and sleeps through as in half way through the night he gets in our bed and is a massive fidget bum. So I would say he doesn't sleep through and only did for a year after CC then all hell broke loose.

DS2 slept through at 6 months but now at 16 months wakes up every other night and when he doesn't wake up - he's up at 4.30am.

Out of my friends I know half slept through and half didn't. All of them admit to have trouble getting them to sleep through 12 months plus.

I did CC with DS1 and it didn't work long term so I won't do it with the others. Do what you want and it is normal.

Mine slept through from 4 months. I was very smug.

Then he hit 6m and wakes up all night long

I never knew so many slept through at that age, but it might not last when teething starts.. I've had some very lucky periods where DS slept 12 hours and it was true bliss and totally unexpected Then teething started.. He's now 2.5 and wakes up several times..

I have obviously been very lucky as I have had three children, all of whom were sleeping through at 3 months max (6pm-8am). Three months was considered the right age to be sleeping through up til fairly recently. All were bottle fed.
I don't think the modern trends for co-sleeping, baby wearing etc lay down good sleep patterns - co sleeping logically must lead to the baby sleeping more lightly as they must be disturbed by their parents throughout the night.
I also think there is a tendency to jump to every murmer instead of trying to encourage self-settling.

Me too, Cathf - both of mine slept through (10-7) from 6 weeks. I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times ds has ever woken me in the night since then.

We never made allowances for them noise-wise and they were in their own rooms fairly early on. I remember hoovering right outside ds' open door when he was tiny. I used to go in and tidy up and he wouldn't stir. They will still now both sleep through anything.

Not risking it with a third though, been bloody lucky

To be honest, I think putting them in their own rooms (with a monitor) makes all the difference.
I remember a post on here a few months ago, when a newish mum posted w whole minute-by-minute account of her night co,-sleeping with baby and it read like the stuff of nightmares.
Baby was drifting off and mum had to go to the loo - baby wakes up. Mum gets up to open window - baby wakes up. I thought - and posted - how can you be bothered to go through that night after night?
When my oldest (23) was a baby, as young mums getting baby through the night was the main goal - and most achieved it by four months.
Now, babies not sleeping seems to be the norm and trying to get them to go through seems to be frowned upon, as if wanting a whole night's sleep marks you out as a less than perfect mother.
I went for an early-morning swim the other morning and was getting dressed when a mum came in with a baby who was about 10 months old. I remarked to her that she was up early (it was 7.15!) And she snapped at me that she didn't mind her baby waking at 5am! It was almost as if I was insulting her baby by commenting on it.

My dd woke twice on the night until she was 2.5. No underlying condition - she was just little. I used a gentle version of controlled crying at bedtime because she cried when we left the room. So I would settle her then leave the room, returning after a minute and resetting her. I wanted to teach her thar mummy wasn't going anywhere and would come back when she cried. 4 days of this resulted in dd going straight to sleep because she learned I was still there. I did this at about 8/9months. Through the night, she woke because she was hungry or thirsty. A quick drink and she fell back to sleep with no crying at all. I have a glass of water by my bed, i regularly wake, have a drink and go back to sleep so it makes sense that a baby would feel the same. Aged 5, she goes straight to sleep at 7.30 and, on a weekend, sleeps right through until 8.30-9am. I laugh in the face of all those who told me I'd 'make a rod for my own back!'

People are obsessed with babies sleeping through. It's like a badge of honour for some and the measure of good parenting. They're all different and I get annoyed at this one size fits all crap. Some babies don't eat lots, some don't walk till 2, some scream if they're mum leaves them, some won't take a bottle and so on.

Tell them to mind their business and don't sleep train if you don't want to. It's hard and I think six months is still too little. On my death bed I wont regret cuddling my baby too much at night

Rant over