Be absolutely honest. If you could do it all again, would you have had kids ?

[Pisssssedofff]

I'll answer later.

to those who have had losses, those who haven't managed to have the number of DC they'd hoped for, those who have difficulties.

I feel so so grateful with my lot. Yes I'd 100% have them again. I am currently in the early years (18mo, 6) and they are pure joy. I know it will pass too soon, it already feels like the 6yo is growing up way too fast, so I cherish it all. To be fair, they are easy children, and always have been. (So Trills, yes, for me, I don't mind being reminded to enjoy these early years.)

I was 36 when I had my first. It wasn't a delayed decision so much as I just hadn't met Mr.Right. I am glad I waited. Got lots of travel done, lots of partying, lots of freedom, and it was with the right man. I have zero desire to go out socialising now - got it all out of my system, so I am more than happy to chill out at home (I actively DO NOT WANT to go out partying!). I'm really happy. And we are financially comfortable, which we would not be had we started ten years earlier. Not rich, but comfortable enough that one of us can be a SAHP (currently me, but I have told DH I would let him have his time as a SAHP if he wants, once the littlest has stopped BFing on demand in the day).

To be fair though, even though I had DS at 15, I managed to complete my GCSE'S, A LEVELS and I have just graduated from my degree..though it took four years ! (I'm 22 now). Educationally wise is fine and I haven't ever been or interested in clubbing or partying. But I wished I travelled the world, meet different people etc.

I don't know. He is now fully grown, but seems to have turned out like his dad. Not a good thing.

Yes, I would. Like PPs there are many, many times when I would've answered 'no', but now that they're 9 and 5, at school, and I'm back studying for a 2nd degree I can see that having kids has definitely been worth the hard times. I adore them. They're amazing people. I'm proud of them. I can't imagine my life without them. The early years were boring, exhausting and reasonably soul-destroying, but without them I wouldn't have got to this point, which is mainly pretty great. I'm a better person for having had them and I've met so many great people I'd never had met if I hadn't had them. And DH and I would've got bored with our old life if it had continued indefinitely.

Yes, but I'd start MUCH earlier than 38 because I would've had more kids (well maybe another 2) if I wasn't so old when I had the two I do have!

Yes but earlier and with another in the gap we left between 2 DCs 2 ad 3.

No

Mine are adults and if I think about this at all, I seem to veer between choosing no and wishing we'd had more . Now we have a DiL and a serious girlfriend it's very jolly when they're all together.

With hindsight, I don't think I should have. I'm not good enough at it.

I coped ok with the preschool years, but not with the complexities of SEN on top of normal social wrangling and the bloody housework.

DH always looked the better bet as a more socially adept, gung-ho parent, but has been depressed and unwell for much of their lives.

I'm not sure how we ever help ds1 to be happy, long term, or employable - and God we've tried.

Yes. I would have had more and, if the drugs appear, might still do.

It's not just about how much love I experience - in both directions - but how much I've learnt about humans.

In particular, as a female bringing up a boy, how much I learnt about males

Yes, and I would have had 2 more.
A dog on the other hand"..........

No.

Yes and more!

In a heartbeat. And had another

I only have one, and now he's 3.5 I would say I would do it again. However if you'd asked me in year one I would have said no way. I made it harder for myself, I was too bloody fraught and anxious to enjoy any of it. PND didn't help, it was a shit year, which I feel incredibly guilty saying. But bringing up a 3.5 year old, despite being knackering, is a wonderful thing :-)

If I knew what I know now... no.

No. After miscarriage No 6 I should've stopped. My body was telling me something wasn't right. DC has missing genes with SEN and additional needs. I should've listened. Life is hard doing this alone.

On balance yes I would - I love my kids to distraction even on the bad days. But.... had I truly had any sort of real understanding of what it would involve, how much you give up personally as a mother, the 24 hour nature of parenting - even with older ones (I mean emotionally when they are older!) the financial impact, the loss of my career, etc... - well then maybe I would have been scared off doing it.
Now I can't imagine life without kids, truth is though, before kids you have no sort of realistic idea of the emotional/physical/financial/mental impact it will have on your whole life. For me, it was worth it, but I now truly respect those who make a conscious decision to choose not to have children. (I know a few couples who have done this) I think that decision shows a maturity and understanding that I didn't have!

A bit late but like your post too Stanley . Had a very similar experience and now also hopefully getting to grips with it and looking at all the positives of a child-free (though not fully by choice) life.

Though I have to say if I read too many of the yesses on here I do feel a little sad for what we couldn't have.

Yes. 100%. Even with knowing what I know now about the hard work and difficult parts.

This is awful to say, but I had my first born barely out of my teens, no money, abusive partner, totally unplanned and I was very naive about it all being fine as I would love them anyway. The DC in question has always has special needs and 10 years later I find it very hard to parent them still. Very.

I had my second years later also unplanned but from a supportive and stable relationship and due my third (planned) imminently and the difference is huge. I don't think continuing the pregnancy with my eldest was my brightest idea, but I didn't consider any other option at the time. But who knows, perhaps I wouldn't appreciate parenting a neurotypical child, with a supportive parent if I didn't know how hard it could otherwise be. And perhaps I wouldn't be with such a supportive partner now without having to endure the really awful one.

I'm going to be 35 in 26 days, have two children 16 and 10, been married for 17 years. If I had the chance again I would definitely have children and maybe even had more. As I had my eldest when I was 18, my DH and I thought we could live of thin air and love (to be young and naive again) how wrong were we! I just wish I'd been more settled, having a comfortable house (our first rented house was infested with ants and we didn't have money to buy a bed so slept on the floor), good jobs and just financial security. We now own our own house, I went back to education and got a degree. It's always been a struggle though, it's been harder since our daughter became seriously ill when she was four and now has disabilities but I wouldn't ever not want to have either of my children, maybe just had them later in life (like now because I'm more settled) and had time to grow up myself

Never had them, never regretted it. I have nieces and nephews and they and their children fill any maternal need . My partner has children, who live with us part of the week; I enjoy spending time with them, but the experience has not altered my feelings in any way.

Should probably say that it was a conscious decision. I understand why people would want to do it, just neve felt the need.